I keep on slipping away, and as I do, The Good catches me, and the Bad consumes me once more
I am in the middle of space, wherever that is, and I can see the stars shining towards me; the shining is so intense, I can feel the heat burning me, melting my past notions, and reviving new ones.
A sense of realization consumed me once again.
I thought I was right with the conclusions I've made regarding my father, well, it turns out I was quite wrong after all.
He called me the other day, and I have to say, that was the first time I feared for him; I was so scared.
It sounded like it was the last time I would ever speak to him; he was crying, letting me know he was sorry for all the years of torment and discard that he put upon me.
I, too, was sorry, sorry for being so ignorant, for not understanding his fragile condition; for shunning myself from him, and him from me when I needed him the most.
I was wrong to think I didn't, now I understand.
From that point on, I swore never to hate him for things I know are inevitable ; I mean, that's his life, he chose it long beforE I was born, and now I have to deal with it.
I'm glad I answered his call.
He seemed so scared, like if something terrible happened to him, and he knew he wasn't gonna make it.
At that point I feared the worst, as I always do, but I was content knowing I was in his mind, that I was the last and only person he wanted to speak to.
I finally felt like his son, and I won't lie, tears were falling from my eyes.
I hope nothing bad happened to him, since, from that day, I have not heard from him.
I am so fucking tired, I feel like dropping the classes!
No bull-shit.
I feel as if I can't take no more; I am without sleep, social contact (which is not a problem), and I feel weak.
I think I am going to have to anyway, I mean, my father has rest of the money for the tuition, which is due in two days, and I have not seen him. :(
Nevertheless, I want to go on.
I want to take English/British Literature next year, so I must finish Rhetoric. Ah!
Whatever the fuck!
I think I want like, a gastric surgery so I can lose more weight fast, lol.
Seriously, I do.
LMAO!
A sense of realization consumed me once again.
I thought I was right with the conclusions I've made regarding my father, well, it turns out I was quite wrong after all.
He called me the other day, and I have to say, that was the first time I feared for him; I was so scared.
It sounded like it was the last time I would ever speak to him; he was crying, letting me know he was sorry for all the years of torment and discard that he put upon me.
I, too, was sorry, sorry for being so ignorant, for not understanding his fragile condition; for shunning myself from him, and him from me when I needed him the most.
I was wrong to think I didn't, now I understand.
From that point on, I swore never to hate him for things I know are inevitable ; I mean, that's his life, he chose it long beforE I was born, and now I have to deal with it.
I'm glad I answered his call.
He seemed so scared, like if something terrible happened to him, and he knew he wasn't gonna make it.
At that point I feared the worst, as I always do, but I was content knowing I was in his mind, that I was the last and only person he wanted to speak to.
I finally felt like his son, and I won't lie, tears were falling from my eyes.
I hope nothing bad happened to him, since, from that day, I have not heard from him.
I am so fucking tired, I feel like dropping the classes!
No bull-shit.
I feel as if I can't take no more; I am without sleep, social contact (which is not a problem), and I feel weak.
I think I am going to have to anyway, I mean, my father has rest of the money for the tuition, which is due in two days, and I have not seen him. :(
Nevertheless, I want to go on.
I want to take English/British Literature next year, so I must finish Rhetoric. Ah!
Whatever the fuck!
I think I want like, a gastric surgery so I can lose more weight fast, lol.
Seriously, I do.
LMAO!