Do you remember that club called Purgatory? That was a good club. Sounded RUBBISH but my God they don't make them like that anymore. Back in the days when if you vomited on a bouncer they'd make you sit and drink a pint of water before letting you get on with your night.
Bum some of of Tim, he's coming over in a bit. Which reminds me, we're out for lunch you want me to bring anything back?
I barely remember it, which means it was probably excellent. Was that the one where Ren wore non colourfast bodypaint and hugged everyone in sight on purpose?
Christ, he probably smokes something effeminate like Superkings. Bring me back a pack of Lamberts and a gun.
That would be the one, yes, and Gary made me stand in the corner for half the night for dropping a tray of drinks and wouldn't let me out until you told him off... I think it was my 22nd actually?
He's an L&B boy actually, it's a habit he picked up from his dad. I am not bringing you back a gun you know you're only allowed toys on a Friday.
I had my name on a grain of rice once. I made her do the whole thing, not just Jon. Damn I was cool in my early twenties.
We all know your love for me used to be pure, don't try and take that away from me. Also as IF Gary every did anything on your word.
No it's the blue one? I think it's the blue one, I know he doesn't like menthols which I think are the green ones. Why does there need to be so many types? WHY? It's the same basic thing.
I wish my middle name was Trixibelle. How dare you suggest I'm a Geldof though? I've had people killed for less.
Wait. Bet you a fiver that you cant stop yourself looking at that stain on your trainers.
ps/ Not fucking a goat.
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Not falling for that. Again.
Ps/ STOP RUINING IT.
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Really? It looks a lot like semen.
Were I fucking the goat, rest assured it would already be ruined.
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HA! I should be so lucky, FOILED, DANIEL.
...What is wrong with me that my immediate reaction to that was 'Ooh, Saucy'?
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Sad state of affairs. Give me back my fiver, I need to buy some cigarettes.
The list of what isnt is smaller.
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Bum some of of Tim, he's coming over in a bit. Which reminds me, we're out for lunch you want me to bring anything back?
I don't believe there is such a list.
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Christ, he probably smokes something effeminate like Superkings. Bring me back a pack of Lamberts and a gun.
It is. Written on this grain of rice.
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He's an L&B boy actually, it's a habit he picked up from his dad. I am not bringing you back a gun you know you're only allowed toys on a Friday.
I had my name on a grain of rice once. I made her do the whole thing, not just Jon. Damn I was cool in my early twenties.
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Ah good lad. Unless its a green pack. Is it? Tell me it isnt.
How did she fit Jonathan Trixibelle Geldof on a single grain of rice? What a marvel.
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No it's the blue one? I think it's the blue one, I know he doesn't like menthols which I think are the green ones. Why does there need to be so many types? WHY? It's the same basic thing.
I wish my middle name was Trixibelle. How dare you suggest I'm a Geldof though? I've had people killed for less.
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Smooth, I should have known. We have varying types so you can trick yourself into thinking you're earning less cancer points.
Which is why your secret remains so to this day.
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That is most strange. Kind of like when someone drinks 6 beers rather than a bottle of wine.
Which would you rather, I was a) Bob's father b) his son c) his brother or d) his wife?
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Precisely so. If you coax him into buying silver, I'll tell you what the stain really is.
By some strange quirk of genetics, e/ all of the above.
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Yeah yeah yeah. I'm still not looking.
I'm on it.
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