Missed me? ... Shut up.

[journal_etc]

Stuff what’s happened in the world of me;

I totally kicked his arse at super Mario cart.

Sadface tiems.

A fortnights holiday with my good pals Charlie and Sarah Tonin.

Sleepless nights dream filled days.

Lots of plastic boxes.

GOT DUMPED. Ha.

Et tu Brumoo on an EPIC SCALE.

Found over three plastic toys in cereal boxes before being chased from store.

Comments

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

"Lost a friend gained a special needs carer."

Since when am I not your friend anymore?

Are you still ok? I mean, you're safe right?

(screened)

[journal_etc]

Aw Nena, don't read it like that.

Jon boy feels like a bit* of a dick atm.

I'm ok. Safe? How boring. As safe as I ever am sex kitty =^_^=

Jx

*Understatment of the day.

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

Just promise me your not staying on a bench near an internet cafe. I worry about you. A lot.

Don't feel like a dick, it's not your fault he left.

You're still coming in to work tomorrow right? I've left your key in your desk for you.

I love you xxx

PS If you're going to eat pot noodles and you won't eat my food, I may just have a strop.

(screened)

[journal_etc]

I'm not I'm with a. friend? Yeah. Kind of I guess. Just a mates.

I don't feel like a dick cause of what he did to me, silly girl, but for what I did to you.

Possibly with bells on. No really, I got new sneaks, they have bells :D and nice one, good girl.

I wish you didn't x x x

Well I DID throw them up. drank too much, was trying to counter balance, FAILED. But AHHHH no, did I really? Because throwing up helped a lot sooo...

(my God I'm sexy. Let's discuss my vomit baby doll, oh yeah, don't say I don't know how to show you a good time)

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

That's good. Swear it's not Irvine?

What? Don't be silly, I wanted to look after you.

Sounds 'citing.

I'm sorry, I can't just switch it off like a tap xxx

(Hmm... lets not. Of all the many things I like about you, your spew is not among them ;P)

(screened)

[journal_etc]

Swear, he wouldn't have me he knows I'm a trouble maker and a ragamuffin.

Dear GOD why? It's not pretty. Thank you though, you crazy bint.

Tis. I got you a present an' all. Try to contain yourself.

There's an off colour joke here about plumbing and fixing pipes but I don't think it's really appropriate.

(Love me- love my vomit, sorry girlie.)

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

Well good. I'm sure he's a lovely man, but you have to sleep indoors. Is an order. From your subordinate. So you know it's serious.

BECAUSE I love you. Christ, you're slow. You're welcome.

You didn't have to.

Are we not allowed tell off colour jokes anymore?

(Give me time, I've washed cat vomit out of a carpet, I'm sure yours can't be all that much worse. Probably a bit better, cats' inner workings are exponentially more disgusting than ours.)

(screened)

[journal_etc]

I don't HAVE to it's only in London that it would be a bit strange to sleep outdoors, if I was somewhere else it would be fine, would be CAMPING.

>_< m'not slow, mummy says I'm speshile.

(this is true, oh GOD it's true. I can't tell the time on clock faces, only digital, you tell anyone that I'll kill you.)

I know I didn't have to but it was pretty and you've been a bit of a star.

Not before the watershed Nena.

(I really don't ever want you to scrub my vomit out of a carpet- that is on my list of things I NEVER EVER want to happen.)

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

That's because it's not SAFE in London. And it's too cold and if you're camping there's a tent and sleeping bags and several people to wedge yourself between. Or maybe that last bit is just when you're a kid. I haven't gone camping since I was little.

You're very clever about most things, but you don't seem to get concepts like unconditional love.

(I won't tell)

You're lovely.

Just as well. If I'd had to stop altogether, I'd start to wonder if it'd all been worth it :P

(Well, I would, if it needed done. You don't have carpets anyway.)

(screened)

[journal_etc]

Safe in London if you know what you're doing. Besides don't I count as one of the baddies anyway? I used to go camping a lot but a tent is a bit take or leave it for me, I like seeing the stars.

WRONG. But a few, yeah. I don't seem to get unconditional love period. Ohh that's a bit maudlin. it's only because most of my family is dead now. Which is. Also terribly sad. Oh dear.

(You're a gem)

(I just used the word gem. D: I'm 90.)

Oh now SEE why did this have to be screened? I don't think I've been called lovely in 10 years and now no one will see it but me.

haha.

(This is true. It should still never happen.)

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

You're not a baddie, you're just an antagonist. I'd even stretch to anti-hero, but you'd just hate me.

That is sad. But family aren't the only people who love you no matter what. (<3)

(I am, this is true)

(Aww, bless)

I'd say it unscreened too. And you are.

Smut, give me smut and nothing but :D

(So don't get a carpet :P Or don't throw up around one, either or.)

(screened)

[journal_etc]

AH HA ♥ ♥ ♥ Brilliant. You may write my biography.

Aww sap sap x

Oh would you? Cheers.

Hmmmm? She lay on the large oak desk- undone- breast heaving with laboured breath as she counted the inches his fingertips took creeping up the smooth roundness of her inner thigh, "Mr Drenum." She gasped, feeling her face flush with embarrassment and want, "I don't think... I mean I'm not sure..."

"Hush hush," He soothed, finally reaching the dampness between his shy little secretary’s legs, she moaned lightly and wriggled as he slowly rubbed his hand along her, "It's company policy, I promise you..."

(both, probably, dust mites scare annoy me.)

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

Have you been reading harlequin romances? Classy, Jon, classsy.

Hmm, this is distressingly similar to my employer-employee relationship. Both my bosses call me kitty and good girl and at least one has had me. Not saying which though, a lady never kisses and tells :P

(screened)

[journal_etc]

HA hahah When I was much younger me and some mates used to write erotica for trash mags for pennies ha, we used to try and out cringe each other and if we couldn't get to the end without screwing up our faces we knew we were onto a winner, Mills and Boon have NOTHING on us.

Ooh cheeky. All bets are off then hmmm? And; SHY little SECRETARY. It's COMPLETELY different.

(screened)

[journal_etc]

Me and some mates.

Pretty much clears up why I never took to writing full time right there doesn't it.

Worst Editor Ever.

(screened)

[deadlyanthrax]

I suppose they are. Dan would make a fortune, if only he knew. He bet pretty heavily on you, to the best of my knowledge.

Meh, artistic license :P I can hardly see me needing all that much persuading either.