I want to turn around, but I can't come back (9/17)
Title: I want to turn around, but I can't come back ~ Chapter 9
Pairing: Ryoda, Junda (for later chapters)
Genre: angst, romance, fluff(?)
Raiting: PG-13
Beta: kat_h_chan
Summary: Tatsuya loves Ryo, Ryo wants sex.
Disclaimer: I don't own them!
A/N: I know this is sooo super late! I apologize a thousand times!!!! (again xD) This is for floppy_snoopi because you have been waiting for it this long! xD
chapter 8
Tatsuya couldn't help but having the biggest smile ever on his face all day long. There was simply nothing he could do about it. It was because he was so happy! He couldn't quite remember having been this happy for a long long time. At least for a few years. Or maybe even more, Tatsuya didn't trust his memory anymore, since he was so much with his head up in the clouds since he had met Ryo earlier that day. He still couldn't believe that the other had been this friendly to him, And he couldn't wait to meet him again. Maybe in the end everything was going to be alright with his hidden, sad love he had been suffering with for years now? It was hard to believe, Tatsuya's hope had been raising again. And since they had finished work a little earlier that evening he would still be able to go see Ryo today. Now! Tatsuya felt himself getting all giggly and nervous at the thought.
“Ne, Junno?” He asked sweetly.
“Huh? What's with you Uepi?” the other asked.
“Do you wanna go to the Kanjani dressing room with me? I wanna see if Ryo's there.” Tatsuya explained. He had bet that there was a frown on Junno's face when he talked about Ryo, but why should it have been like that? Tatsuya was sure that Junno was as happy for him as the other KAT-TUN members. And why shouldn't he ask Junno to come with him? Of course he was nervous to see Ryo. Who wasn't nervous to see the man he loved? Especially if he had been unhappy for this long time. Junno was his friend, so why wouldn't he support him?
“Wel...okay.” Junno said after some seconds of hesitation, and hi didn't seem too happy to accompany Tatsuya. But the other was happy to hear him agree and in his state of happiness was to space for anything sad or uncomfortable, so he just dragged Junno out of the room to go and see Ryo as soon as possible.
All the way over to said dressing room Tatsuya was humming happily and the smile still wasn't leaving his face. Junno had serious doubts about whether it'll ever fall from Tatsuya's face again and all of this was just because of that stupid Nishikido guy...
“Maruyama-kun!” Tatsuya exclaimed suddenly and Junno snapped out of his trance.
“Do you know where I can find Ryo?”
“Well, I think he's in our dressing room.” the other answered. “You should find him there.”
“Thank you!” Tatsuya beamed and flashed a bright smile.
As they walked on Tatsuya leaned over to Junno.
“See? We have good chances!” he whispered and quickened his steps.
Finally the two of them arrived at the door of the Kanjani dressing room. Junno thought, that there were some...strange noises coming out of the room, but Tatsuya was in love and he was happy now. He wanted to see Ryo and there was nothing he was recognizing. If he had he had maybe been saved from much pain and hurt, but he didn't and so he just opened the door forcefully, a greeting to Ryo falling from his lips and there he was, seeing the thing it needed to crack the happy smile on his face, to pull him out of his state of absent mind and to bring him back to what is reality and what he had never wanted to see.
There was Ryo, on the couch together with Yamapi. But not as he had normally seen them together. Ryo was hovered over Yamapi's naked body. And they were...connected. Just as Ryo and Tatsuya had been some time ago. Tatsuya didn't really noticed how Junno was screaming in shock and fear and how both Ryo and Yamapi stuttered Tatsuya's name, just as shocked as Junno was. He didn't notice Junno trying to pull him away from the sight, from the place and of course away from Ryo.
Tatsuya was frozen to the spot as it was slowly sinking into his mind, as he realized, that Ryo was fucking Yamapi. That nothing Tatsuya imagined was in between him and the guy he loved. That Tatsuya was a toy, just as everybody else was to Ryo. And that he'd never be anyone special to Ryo at all. Later Tatsuya thought that he had been standing there unmoving for quite some time, because when he finally got back to noticing anything that was around him he saw Ryo, already with messy fixed pants on coming up to him, useless phrases blabbering in the process or so it seemed to Tatsuya. And right before Ryo could touch him he turned around and walked out of the room. At first he was walking. Slowly, still feeling paralyzed by what he had just seen. There were various people he didn't really recognize even though he knew them and they were trying to hold him back. He vaguely remembered that Kame was trying to pull him into a hug, but Tatsuya refused any kind of body contact. The more people came along his way, trying to talk to him the faster Tatsuya was walking. He didn't want to talk to anybody and he didn't even want to be near anybody. He wanted to be away, away from everything and everyone. Luckily he had his keys in his pocket, so when he reached his car he just jumped in and drove home in his hazy state of mind. As he locked his apartment's door behind him he let himself slide to the floor along the door's frame and then, just then he allowed his tears to break free, to wet his eyes and face, his clothes, his hands and everything. And they were wetting his face endlessly, flowing and flowing, the expression of a broken heart, too waek to hold back anymore, to weak to stand up again, because nothing hurts more than disappointed hopes.
**
to be continued....
Pairing: Ryoda, Junda (for later chapters)
Genre: angst, romance, fluff(?)
Raiting: PG-13
Beta: kat_h_chan
Summary: Tatsuya loves Ryo, Ryo wants sex.
Disclaimer: I don't own them!
A/N: I know this is sooo super late! I apologize a thousand times!!!! (again xD) This is for floppy_snoopi because you have been waiting for it this long! xD
chapter 8
Tatsuya couldn't help but having the biggest smile ever on his face all day long. There was simply nothing he could do about it. It was because he was so happy! He couldn't quite remember having been this happy for a long long time. At least for a few years. Or maybe even more, Tatsuya didn't trust his memory anymore, since he was so much with his head up in the clouds since he had met Ryo earlier that day. He still couldn't believe that the other had been this friendly to him, And he couldn't wait to meet him again. Maybe in the end everything was going to be alright with his hidden, sad love he had been suffering with for years now? It was hard to believe, Tatsuya's hope had been raising again. And since they had finished work a little earlier that evening he would still be able to go see Ryo today. Now! Tatsuya felt himself getting all giggly and nervous at the thought.
“Ne, Junno?” He asked sweetly.
“Huh? What's with you Uepi?” the other asked.
“Do you wanna go to the Kanjani dressing room with me? I wanna see if Ryo's there.” Tatsuya explained. He had bet that there was a frown on Junno's face when he talked about Ryo, but why should it have been like that? Tatsuya was sure that Junno was as happy for him as the other KAT-TUN members. And why shouldn't he ask Junno to come with him? Of course he was nervous to see Ryo. Who wasn't nervous to see the man he loved? Especially if he had been unhappy for this long time. Junno was his friend, so why wouldn't he support him?
“Wel...okay.” Junno said after some seconds of hesitation, and hi didn't seem too happy to accompany Tatsuya. But the other was happy to hear him agree and in his state of happiness was to space for anything sad or uncomfortable, so he just dragged Junno out of the room to go and see Ryo as soon as possible.
All the way over to said dressing room Tatsuya was humming happily and the smile still wasn't leaving his face. Junno had serious doubts about whether it'll ever fall from Tatsuya's face again and all of this was just because of that stupid Nishikido guy...
“Maruyama-kun!” Tatsuya exclaimed suddenly and Junno snapped out of his trance.
“Do you know where I can find Ryo?”
“Well, I think he's in our dressing room.” the other answered. “You should find him there.”
“Thank you!” Tatsuya beamed and flashed a bright smile.
As they walked on Tatsuya leaned over to Junno.
“See? We have good chances!” he whispered and quickened his steps.
Finally the two of them arrived at the door of the Kanjani dressing room. Junno thought, that there were some...strange noises coming out of the room, but Tatsuya was in love and he was happy now. He wanted to see Ryo and there was nothing he was recognizing. If he had he had maybe been saved from much pain and hurt, but he didn't and so he just opened the door forcefully, a greeting to Ryo falling from his lips and there he was, seeing the thing it needed to crack the happy smile on his face, to pull him out of his state of absent mind and to bring him back to what is reality and what he had never wanted to see.
There was Ryo, on the couch together with Yamapi. But not as he had normally seen them together. Ryo was hovered over Yamapi's naked body. And they were...connected. Just as Ryo and Tatsuya had been some time ago. Tatsuya didn't really noticed how Junno was screaming in shock and fear and how both Ryo and Yamapi stuttered Tatsuya's name, just as shocked as Junno was. He didn't notice Junno trying to pull him away from the sight, from the place and of course away from Ryo.
Tatsuya was frozen to the spot as it was slowly sinking into his mind, as he realized, that Ryo was fucking Yamapi. That nothing Tatsuya imagined was in between him and the guy he loved. That Tatsuya was a toy, just as everybody else was to Ryo. And that he'd never be anyone special to Ryo at all. Later Tatsuya thought that he had been standing there unmoving for quite some time, because when he finally got back to noticing anything that was around him he saw Ryo, already with messy fixed pants on coming up to him, useless phrases blabbering in the process or so it seemed to Tatsuya. And right before Ryo could touch him he turned around and walked out of the room. At first he was walking. Slowly, still feeling paralyzed by what he had just seen. There were various people he didn't really recognize even though he knew them and they were trying to hold him back. He vaguely remembered that Kame was trying to pull him into a hug, but Tatsuya refused any kind of body contact. The more people came along his way, trying to talk to him the faster Tatsuya was walking. He didn't want to talk to anybody and he didn't even want to be near anybody. He wanted to be away, away from everything and everyone. Luckily he had his keys in his pocket, so when he reached his car he just jumped in and drove home in his hazy state of mind. As he locked his apartment's door behind him he let himself slide to the floor along the door's frame and then, just then he allowed his tears to break free, to wet his eyes and face, his clothes, his hands and everything. And they were wetting his face endlessly, flowing and flowing, the expression of a broken heart, too waek to hold back anymore, to weak to stand up again, because nothing hurts more than disappointed hopes.
**
to be continued....