Have you ever...
Not been sure whether you wanted to smile, laugh, ponder, or cry?
These days, I don't know what to feel...It's like life is dangling something in front of me that I can't reach and I don't know how to make it mine. I want to share any moment of happiness I find with those I love. I want to take away the pain of those I love. I want to be held just because, without any words and fall asleep in loving arms.
All this data collection is really starting to get to me, and my community, dbsk_fancams is really disappointing me(I won't go into the details). What have I become? I want to be more active than I am, but only someone willing to be active with me can accomplish that because there's no motivation if I'm doing it alone. I want to smile and feel loved in person...I'm thankful for all of you who I've met and have become friends with online, don't get me wrong...But *Sighs* I don't know *Shakes head* I feel foolish for even thinking about all of this.
I still feel like this life isn't for me...Those of you who know me better will probably know more about what I'm talking about. Lyne, I have to say this...Don't ever doubt how beautiful you are, please. *Hangs head and pounds her fist on a hard surface* Gods, why does life have to be so complicated? Why do I have to think about this? Can't my mind be blank? Can't I just live life happily without want?
*Imagines a snowy night being held closely and shielded from the cold wind by someone like Junsu* ♥ All I have are stupid romantic visions of how life should be for everyone and I just wish I could stop dreaming of life the way it never will be. A world where everyone was thoughtful. A world where thinking of those around you was more important than thinking about yourself. A world where...Everything was done simply out of kindness. I know I rant and rave, even scheme of ways to get revenge...But I really just want people to stop being selfish. I want people to stop and think about how their actions will affect those around them, I just want kindness to rule in this world and it kills me when I know it never will.
These days, I don't know what to feel...It's like life is dangling something in front of me that I can't reach and I don't know how to make it mine. I want to share any moment of happiness I find with those I love. I want to take away the pain of those I love. I want to be held just because, without any words and fall asleep in loving arms.
All this data collection is really starting to get to me, and my community, dbsk_fancams is really disappointing me(I won't go into the details). What have I become? I want to be more active than I am, but only someone willing to be active with me can accomplish that because there's no motivation if I'm doing it alone. I want to smile and feel loved in person...I'm thankful for all of you who I've met and have become friends with online, don't get me wrong...But *Sighs* I don't know *Shakes head* I feel foolish for even thinking about all of this.
I still feel like this life isn't for me...Those of you who know me better will probably know more about what I'm talking about. Lyne, I have to say this...Don't ever doubt how beautiful you are, please. *Hangs head and pounds her fist on a hard surface* Gods, why does life have to be so complicated? Why do I have to think about this? Can't my mind be blank? Can't I just live life happily without want?
*Imagines a snowy night being held closely and shielded from the cold wind by someone like Junsu* ♥ All I have are stupid romantic visions of how life should be for everyone and I just wish I could stop dreaming of life the way it never will be. A world where everyone was thoughtful. A world where thinking of those around you was more important than thinking about yourself. A world where...Everything was done simply out of kindness. I know I rant and rave, even scheme of ways to get revenge...But I really just want people to stop being selfish. I want people to stop and think about how their actions will affect those around them, I just want kindness to rule in this world and it kills me when I know it never will.