Curiosity killed the Kate...
So what have I been doing for the last week and a bit?
hmm.. FUCK ALL comes to mind immediately, probably since I've dedicated a lot of this week to sleeping, reading, and trying my hardest to isolate myself entirely. That's not completely true though, in fact quite a bit has happened.
Firstly there was the crazy last night in rez, drinking my new record amount of booze for the shortest time span, having the most laughs and most awkward conversation ever in a shower, trying to sort out the weeks of floorcestuous drama we'd created. I really didn't mean for feelings to get hurt in this whole thing (as I know how much that sucks) but alas, I think I failed. Now I'm confused as to exactly what I should do, as the logical side of me 99% of the time says duh! and yet every now and then I'm like..hey why not? BECAUSE! THAT'S WHY! Tres nice, but we're not on the same page as to what casual constitutes and I get the feeling that jealousy, sketchiness and maybe more scariness will ensue..damn that burden.haha. oy.
The last day was the most hungover of my life. Waking up next to Elizabeth and getting filled in on the shit I didn't remember from the night before (I'm talking ZERO recollection) and what happened after I'd passed out. (How did I miss the fire alarm and the entire building evacuating??)I wonder what the consequences would have been if Sarah and I HAD made it to her room to hookup....Went dryheaving to the James Admin building to get a new ID card, scrambled back up the hill to pack and clean my room.
The train ride was generally uneventful.
Friday at home. I really didn't adjust well to "home" life. What normally would have been fun family drinking and playing Trivial Pursuit seemed like angry, antagonizing banter and I really didn't appreciate it. I was happy to get out of there when Galen and Tasha showed up to get me.
Then there was that whole time-wasting shit at the hotel...I hate people who try to make themselves feel significant by degrading others.
The undreading effort began Saturday and went rather well but slowly. Saturday night was fun, it was good to see people again and, fucking hell, flip cup is soooo one of my favourite passtimes. Took the bus/walked home at like 2:30 and it was cool to see how peaceful the neighbourhood looked in the dark with very few cars out, and startling exactly how alone I could feel even after spending hours with people I love. I was tempted to not even go home but to wander around for a bit, it wasn't cold and I'm not scared of well-lit suburban streets. I don't know why I didn't roam or sit in a snow bank for a bit. Habit, I guess.
Sunday morning breakfast with the fam. Afternoon, watching The Company with Marianna while she saved more of my hair and provided the basis for my current 'do.
I felt wierd on Monday and Tuesday, dead tired, and didn't want to see anyone. So I didn't for the most part. I got a hair cut but that was the peak of the excitement. I cancelled on my camp friends for a party that I'd been promising to go to for months. This partly made me feel like a huge peice of guilty shit, but on the otherhand I just don't think I could've handled all those people asking me how I was and being cheerful and prancing around.
Today...aka yesterday, I went out for coffee with Jessica, which was really chill and nice. She and I are frequently on the same brain wave it seems and it was good to talk to her, hear her opinions and advice and know I'm not going crazy. (Even though I often think I am) She (again) reminded me that I need to keep a sane outlook on certain aspects of life and helped bring me back to earth. The fact that she drives an insta-happy mobile really helped too. Damn I love the Beetle.
Hanging out will Allison tomorrow :) and would have liked to have her over tomorrow night to see the group, but due to ill-planning she can't make it. Hopefully we'll squeeze it in another time.
hmm.. FUCK ALL comes to mind immediately, probably since I've dedicated a lot of this week to sleeping, reading, and trying my hardest to isolate myself entirely. That's not completely true though, in fact quite a bit has happened.
Firstly there was the crazy last night in rez, drinking my new record amount of booze for the shortest time span, having the most laughs and most awkward conversation ever in a shower, trying to sort out the weeks of floorcestuous drama we'd created. I really didn't mean for feelings to get hurt in this whole thing (as I know how much that sucks) but alas, I think I failed. Now I'm confused as to exactly what I should do, as the logical side of me 99% of the time says duh! and yet every now and then I'm like..hey why not? BECAUSE! THAT'S WHY! Tres nice, but we're not on the same page as to what casual constitutes and I get the feeling that jealousy, sketchiness and maybe more scariness will ensue..damn that burden.haha. oy.
The last day was the most hungover of my life. Waking up next to Elizabeth and getting filled in on the shit I didn't remember from the night before (I'm talking ZERO recollection) and what happened after I'd passed out. (How did I miss the fire alarm and the entire building evacuating??)I wonder what the consequences would have been if Sarah and I HAD made it to her room to hookup....Went dryheaving to the James Admin building to get a new ID card, scrambled back up the hill to pack and clean my room.
The train ride was generally uneventful.
Friday at home. I really didn't adjust well to "home" life. What normally would have been fun family drinking and playing Trivial Pursuit seemed like angry, antagonizing banter and I really didn't appreciate it. I was happy to get out of there when Galen and Tasha showed up to get me.
Then there was that whole time-wasting shit at the hotel...I hate people who try to make themselves feel significant by degrading others.
The undreading effort began Saturday and went rather well but slowly. Saturday night was fun, it was good to see people again and, fucking hell, flip cup is soooo one of my favourite passtimes. Took the bus/walked home at like 2:30 and it was cool to see how peaceful the neighbourhood looked in the dark with very few cars out, and startling exactly how alone I could feel even after spending hours with people I love. I was tempted to not even go home but to wander around for a bit, it wasn't cold and I'm not scared of well-lit suburban streets. I don't know why I didn't roam or sit in a snow bank for a bit. Habit, I guess.
Sunday morning breakfast with the fam. Afternoon, watching The Company with Marianna while she saved more of my hair and provided the basis for my current 'do.
I felt wierd on Monday and Tuesday, dead tired, and didn't want to see anyone. So I didn't for the most part. I got a hair cut but that was the peak of the excitement. I cancelled on my camp friends for a party that I'd been promising to go to for months. This partly made me feel like a huge peice of guilty shit, but on the otherhand I just don't think I could've handled all those people asking me how I was and being cheerful and prancing around.
Today...aka yesterday, I went out for coffee with Jessica, which was really chill and nice. She and I are frequently on the same brain wave it seems and it was good to talk to her, hear her opinions and advice and know I'm not going crazy. (Even though I often think I am) She (again) reminded me that I need to keep a sane outlook on certain aspects of life and helped bring me back to earth. The fact that she drives an insta-happy mobile really helped too. Damn I love the Beetle.
Hanging out will Allison tomorrow :) and would have liked to have her over tomorrow night to see the group, but due to ill-planning she can't make it. Hopefully we'll squeeze it in another time.