(no subject)
Sheesh- so long! partially because I haven't had anything say, then there was the extended period of only having internet on my phone, combined with the fact that I have a much harder time getting motivated to write things when I"m happy- I'm usually busy doing whatever it is that makes me happy, ya know?
Things have been up and down. I'm so so happy with everything about my relationship with Eric, even when things feel a little tough to me, I feel like I can go to him with it and won't get an argument- it's really nice when you're allowed to not be great. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it does internally, and it feels really healthy. I love how much he's helping me (note I don't really say 'pushing' as I previously thought I wanted someone to do, I am saying a helping, because he's really just doing that. I say I want to go up a step, and he puts his hand up and gives me a little extra strength to succeed. I'm astonished at the things I'm more comfortable doing now, as opposed to even a year ago= hell- as opposed to 6 months ago!!!
The new place (oh, did I actually get into that before I moved? I found a place with a friend, William, and one of his Co-workers, Ashley at the beginning of October) anyway, he new place is OK. we looked at other places that I think would be much less favorable, and this place has good personality. The tough part was that we didn't discuss room arrangements until our first day of moving William in. It was... not smart. Especially since I'm such a - what's that personality type? OH yeah: STUPID FUCKING MARTYR-DUMBASS!!!- We all agreed that William should have the biggest room, then there was this horrible dance of Doom between me and Ashley. Well, after a lot of 'sitting there in silence' until finally I caved. So I'm in the smallest room, and I feel cramped and not pleased. I'll survive, and I sincerely hope that I will start to like this arrangement very soon, because I love the people I live with. Not just as friends, but in some ways more. One of them has given me some REALLY good times, and the other has made me feel a lot better about me.
Work has had some ups and downs, but the up times are usually longer and the downs are not really that far down. I was Really sick a couple of weeks ago which made me miss 5 days (technically was not THERE for 3, but 2 of them I was there, just useless) and then, after 2 partial weeks went out of town to Denver Bound in Um... Denver. :P It was good for me, and VERY good for Eric, but it really left me with a lot of conflicting emotions and thoughts. I was told that coming down from a convention, and the first few days after getting home, Possibly the first weekend, too, could feel mixed or something, but this is more than a week since it ended, I think maybe I have some stuff that I need to actually figure out, solve even. But I digress. My last day at work before leaving for Denver I'd realized how downhill I'd let my warehouse go. I stressed about it a little during the weekend, mostly my last day off after getting back (I took an extra day to decompress). I realized I had to get my act together, and realized it even more when the guy at work that seems to think that because I'm a girl I shouldn't be in the warehouse took the opportunity of me being out of town to fix all the stuff that had gone to shit while I wasnt at 100% and then took it to my bosses. UGH. So we had a Talk and it went better than I'd hoped, but mostly I like that I've still kept it together and managed to improve some other stuff since then. 1.5 weeks later and I'm feeling really good.
I'll make another post about *ahem* other aspects.
Ok, I'm done. Hope someone noticed that I was gone before I commented on it! ;)
Things have been up and down. I'm so so happy with everything about my relationship with Eric, even when things feel a little tough to me, I feel like I can go to him with it and won't get an argument- it's really nice when you're allowed to not be great. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it does internally, and it feels really healthy. I love how much he's helping me (note I don't really say 'pushing' as I previously thought I wanted someone to do, I am saying a helping, because he's really just doing that. I say I want to go up a step, and he puts his hand up and gives me a little extra strength to succeed. I'm astonished at the things I'm more comfortable doing now, as opposed to even a year ago= hell- as opposed to 6 months ago!!!
The new place (oh, did I actually get into that before I moved? I found a place with a friend, William, and one of his Co-workers, Ashley at the beginning of October) anyway, he new place is OK. we looked at other places that I think would be much less favorable, and this place has good personality. The tough part was that we didn't discuss room arrangements until our first day of moving William in. It was... not smart. Especially since I'm such a - what's that personality type? OH yeah: STUPID FUCKING MARTYR-DUMBASS!!!- We all agreed that William should have the biggest room, then there was this horrible dance of Doom between me and Ashley. Well, after a lot of 'sitting there in silence' until finally I caved. So I'm in the smallest room, and I feel cramped and not pleased. I'll survive, and I sincerely hope that I will start to like this arrangement very soon, because I love the people I live with. Not just as friends, but in some ways more. One of them has given me some REALLY good times, and the other has made me feel a lot better about me.
Work has had some ups and downs, but the up times are usually longer and the downs are not really that far down. I was Really sick a couple of weeks ago which made me miss 5 days (technically was not THERE for 3, but 2 of them I was there, just useless) and then, after 2 partial weeks went out of town to Denver Bound in Um... Denver. :P It was good for me, and VERY good for Eric, but it really left me with a lot of conflicting emotions and thoughts. I was told that coming down from a convention, and the first few days after getting home, Possibly the first weekend, too, could feel mixed or something, but this is more than a week since it ended, I think maybe I have some stuff that I need to actually figure out, solve even. But I digress. My last day at work before leaving for Denver I'd realized how downhill I'd let my warehouse go. I stressed about it a little during the weekend, mostly my last day off after getting back (I took an extra day to decompress). I realized I had to get my act together, and realized it even more when the guy at work that seems to think that because I'm a girl I shouldn't be in the warehouse took the opportunity of me being out of town to fix all the stuff that had gone to shit while I wasnt at 100% and then took it to my bosses. UGH. So we had a Talk and it went better than I'd hoped, but mostly I like that I've still kept it together and managed to improve some other stuff since then. 1.5 weeks later and I'm feeling really good.
I'll make another post about *ahem* other aspects.
Ok, I'm done. Hope someone noticed that I was gone before I commented on it! ;)