Battle Scars
Title: Battle Scars
Pairing: Chanyeol x Yixing
Rating: Mature
Genre(s): Angst, romance
Word Count: 1077
Warning(s): Trigger: depression, mention of self-harm
Author's Note: I hate angst but.. this called to me. I was inspired by their exo showtime song, they looked so sad and then I saw this and they clicked.
Summary: Yixing always feels better when Chanyeol kisses old wounds and calls him beautiful.
Chanyeol finds Yixing curled up on the couch, it’s not unusual to find him there with a guitar in his hand and his chin prepped up against a pillow, albeit it looks uncomfortable from the angle he’s looking at.
He makes his way over to his friend, though he’s not quite sure yet what to call him. They’ve shared secretive kisses, have linked arms and pinkies together when no one’s looking but neither have brought it up or questioned it. Chanyeol goes with the flow, because as much as he does like Yixing, he doesn’t want to lose what they have.
Chanyeol sits beside the latter and leans over onto the others shoulder, eyes gazing towards the floor where Yixing is looking, too.
“Do you want to go shopping later?”
Chanyeol gazes up and watches Yixing’s expression change; moreover it looks like he’s pretending not to be dozing off, a state of trance that catches Chanyeol off guard, if not familiar to how he is himself.
Yixing doesn’t know that Chanyeol can see his facade and if he does, he doesn’t say a word about it.
Chanyeol gently traces the edges of his fingers, lingering down Yixing’s exposed arm before his hand dips beneath Yixing’s and entwines their fingers, bringing Yixing’s hand to his lips when he places a chaste kiss to the back of Yixing’s hand.
“Are you alright?”
Chanyeol has butterflies in his stomach when Yixing glances over at him and gives him a wavering, lopsided smile and that’s when Chanyeol knows.
Yixing, much to Chanyeol’s utter dismay, has dealt with severe depression since he was a kid, a lot longer than Chanyeol has dealt with himself. Though in Yixing’s case he’s different, Chanyeol had counseling sessions that worked and for Yixing, well, they didn’t.
A tear threatens to escape from Yixing’s tired eyes but he blinks them away and looks away, hoping Chanyeol doesn’t think much of it.
“What is it?”
Chanyeol moves closer and even places the heavy guitar to the floor beside the couch they are on, only with one hand while he squeezes Yixing’s in his other.
“You’ve been busy lately, I-“Yixing shakes his head.
“I don’t want to bother you,” he murmurs softly and closes his eyes, dropping his head and carefully pulling himself up and leaning in the opposite direction. His head lands on Chanyeol’s shoulder, relaxing against the latter.
“You can tell me.” Chanyeol whispers under his breath and carefully turns Yixing’s hand over so he can examine the old scars. Their old, but they still show a scar that will never fade both physically or mentally.
Chanyeol listens but continues to play with Yixing’s fingers like he knows that he likes.
He brings finger by finger to his lips, holding them gently to his lips and then kissing them as if they were his children, gently kneading them afterward.
“I’m scared, Chanyeol. I don’t want to be alone.”
Chanyeol heart drops and he hears Yixing sniff, Yixing’s free hand coming up to wipe the tears that deceive him and continue to fall down to his chin.
Chanyeol uses his free hand to grab the back of Yixing’s neck and pull him close, Yixing burying his head into Chanyeol’s chest as he sobs violently, shaking and quivering as he chokes out, tears and snot making his senses unclear.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol soothes, even when he knows it isn’t. He’s been in the same position, only knows the feelings get worse, when words stop making up for the pain.
“I’m here for you.”
Yixing calms down from his scene and continues to keep his nose pressed against Chanyeol’s shoulder, inhaling and exhaling sharply when he regains the ability to breathe normally.
“Yixing I know it’s hard but believe me when I say you’re not alone. Right now you might not feel like it, but I’m here and no matter what I will not leave you.”
Yixing opens his mouth to speak but Chanyeol quiets him, pressing his fingers into Yixing’s scalp and rubbing circles to soothe him.
“We can get through this together.”
Yixing pulls himself away and wipes the saliva, snot, and moist tears from his nose and face before staring Chanyeol in the eyes.
“Do you mean that?”
Chanyeol breaks out in a soft smile, entwining both their hands before he takes Yixing’s left hand, turning it and pressing a gentle kiss to the first cut. He closes his eyes and kisses the wound once, then moves Yixing’s hand up so he can kiss the next one.
He hears Yixing cry again only to be muffled by the hand he has over his mouth, eyes shut tight when Chanyeol takes the time to kiss each scar, each wound made every time Yixing felt worthless, defeated, and too tired to wake up in the morning.
Chanyeol pulls back after the last scar and closes in, kissing Yixing on the lips and keeping him there, pressed up against the couch with Yixing’s hand by his head.
He pulls back, breathless to see Yixing’s shocked expression.
“I do mean it, because I’m utterly in love with you. And everything about you,” he pauses and although it’s cheesy and probably horribly romantic, he means it. “Everything about you is beautiful, Yixing. I want to know everything about you and I want to be the one that makes you smile, makes you laugh and cry.”
Chanyeol kisses Yixing again, this time Yixing presses into the kiss, pulling back when he’s breathless and his lips are quivering because he doesn’t know what to say.
“You can only save yourself, but I want to be there when you do. You’re not alone, you’ve always had me. I want to be by your side as long as I can and-“
Yixing laughs then, snorting when he presses the flat of his palm on Chanyeol’s mouth to shut him up.
“Yes,” Yixing speaks although on the edge of another cry, ready to rip out of his heart and throat. He’s happy, oh so happy.
“I’ll be with you.”
Chanyeol tears up then, taking Yixing into his arms and keeping him there. Yixing eventually melts into the embrace, nose nuzzling against Chanyeol’s ear and taking a whiff of his scent. Something along the lines of poppy-seed and lemon, that or shampoo.
“I love you, I love you so much.”
Yixing hugs Chanyeol just as tight, tears rolling down his cheeks once more when he lifts his head for air and inhales.
“I love you too. I always have.”
A/N: I don't know about you but that struck home for me.. I hope you guys enjoyed this one, I know it was pretty quick but I actually took the time to write that. I'm not sure if it came out good but I did write it from the heart.
xoxo
Pairing: Chanyeol x Yixing
Rating: Mature
Genre(s): Angst, romance
Word Count: 1077
Warning(s): Trigger: depression, mention of self-harm
Author's Note: I hate angst but.. this called to me. I was inspired by their exo showtime song, they looked so sad and then I saw this and they clicked.
Summary: Yixing always feels better when Chanyeol kisses old wounds and calls him beautiful.
Chanyeol finds Yixing curled up on the couch, it’s not unusual to find him there with a guitar in his hand and his chin prepped up against a pillow, albeit it looks uncomfortable from the angle he’s looking at.
He makes his way over to his friend, though he’s not quite sure yet what to call him. They’ve shared secretive kisses, have linked arms and pinkies together when no one’s looking but neither have brought it up or questioned it. Chanyeol goes with the flow, because as much as he does like Yixing, he doesn’t want to lose what they have.
Chanyeol sits beside the latter and leans over onto the others shoulder, eyes gazing towards the floor where Yixing is looking, too.
“Do you want to go shopping later?”
Chanyeol gazes up and watches Yixing’s expression change; moreover it looks like he’s pretending not to be dozing off, a state of trance that catches Chanyeol off guard, if not familiar to how he is himself.
Yixing doesn’t know that Chanyeol can see his facade and if he does, he doesn’t say a word about it.
Chanyeol gently traces the edges of his fingers, lingering down Yixing’s exposed arm before his hand dips beneath Yixing’s and entwines their fingers, bringing Yixing’s hand to his lips when he places a chaste kiss to the back of Yixing’s hand.
“Are you alright?”
Chanyeol has butterflies in his stomach when Yixing glances over at him and gives him a wavering, lopsided smile and that’s when Chanyeol knows.
Yixing, much to Chanyeol’s utter dismay, has dealt with severe depression since he was a kid, a lot longer than Chanyeol has dealt with himself. Though in Yixing’s case he’s different, Chanyeol had counseling sessions that worked and for Yixing, well, they didn’t.
A tear threatens to escape from Yixing’s tired eyes but he blinks them away and looks away, hoping Chanyeol doesn’t think much of it.
“What is it?”
Chanyeol moves closer and even places the heavy guitar to the floor beside the couch they are on, only with one hand while he squeezes Yixing’s in his other.
“You’ve been busy lately, I-“Yixing shakes his head.
“I don’t want to bother you,” he murmurs softly and closes his eyes, dropping his head and carefully pulling himself up and leaning in the opposite direction. His head lands on Chanyeol’s shoulder, relaxing against the latter.
“You can tell me.” Chanyeol whispers under his breath and carefully turns Yixing’s hand over so he can examine the old scars. Their old, but they still show a scar that will never fade both physically or mentally.
Chanyeol listens but continues to play with Yixing’s fingers like he knows that he likes.
He brings finger by finger to his lips, holding them gently to his lips and then kissing them as if they were his children, gently kneading them afterward.
“I’m scared, Chanyeol. I don’t want to be alone.”
Chanyeol heart drops and he hears Yixing sniff, Yixing’s free hand coming up to wipe the tears that deceive him and continue to fall down to his chin.
Chanyeol uses his free hand to grab the back of Yixing’s neck and pull him close, Yixing burying his head into Chanyeol’s chest as he sobs violently, shaking and quivering as he chokes out, tears and snot making his senses unclear.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol soothes, even when he knows it isn’t. He’s been in the same position, only knows the feelings get worse, when words stop making up for the pain.
“I’m here for you.”
Yixing calms down from his scene and continues to keep his nose pressed against Chanyeol’s shoulder, inhaling and exhaling sharply when he regains the ability to breathe normally.
“Yixing I know it’s hard but believe me when I say you’re not alone. Right now you might not feel like it, but I’m here and no matter what I will not leave you.”
Yixing opens his mouth to speak but Chanyeol quiets him, pressing his fingers into Yixing’s scalp and rubbing circles to soothe him.
“We can get through this together.”
Yixing pulls himself away and wipes the saliva, snot, and moist tears from his nose and face before staring Chanyeol in the eyes.
“Do you mean that?”
Chanyeol breaks out in a soft smile, entwining both their hands before he takes Yixing’s left hand, turning it and pressing a gentle kiss to the first cut. He closes his eyes and kisses the wound once, then moves Yixing’s hand up so he can kiss the next one.
He hears Yixing cry again only to be muffled by the hand he has over his mouth, eyes shut tight when Chanyeol takes the time to kiss each scar, each wound made every time Yixing felt worthless, defeated, and too tired to wake up in the morning.
Chanyeol pulls back after the last scar and closes in, kissing Yixing on the lips and keeping him there, pressed up against the couch with Yixing’s hand by his head.
He pulls back, breathless to see Yixing’s shocked expression.
“I do mean it, because I’m utterly in love with you. And everything about you,” he pauses and although it’s cheesy and probably horribly romantic, he means it. “Everything about you is beautiful, Yixing. I want to know everything about you and I want to be the one that makes you smile, makes you laugh and cry.”
Chanyeol kisses Yixing again, this time Yixing presses into the kiss, pulling back when he’s breathless and his lips are quivering because he doesn’t know what to say.
“You can only save yourself, but I want to be there when you do. You’re not alone, you’ve always had me. I want to be by your side as long as I can and-“
Yixing laughs then, snorting when he presses the flat of his palm on Chanyeol’s mouth to shut him up.
“Yes,” Yixing speaks although on the edge of another cry, ready to rip out of his heart and throat. He’s happy, oh so happy.
“I’ll be with you.”
Chanyeol tears up then, taking Yixing into his arms and keeping him there. Yixing eventually melts into the embrace, nose nuzzling against Chanyeol’s ear and taking a whiff of his scent. Something along the lines of poppy-seed and lemon, that or shampoo.
“I love you, I love you so much.”
Yixing hugs Chanyeol just as tight, tears rolling down his cheeks once more when he lifts his head for air and inhales.
“I love you too. I always have.”
A/N: I don't know about you but that struck home for me.. I hope you guys enjoyed this one, I know it was pretty quick but I actually took the time to write that. I'm not sure if it came out good but I did write it from the heart.
xoxo