It's Already 9:00
I'm sitting here with Trent forcing him to listen to some music, and I realize that it's 9:00. Where did the time go? I haven't done anything since I got home. I mean I went to go look for a prom dress earlier, but besides that and eating with my mom, I haven't done anything productive. Dress shopping wasn't fun either. I dunno, I just wasn't in the mood. Everything made me feel fat, and I didn't like it. Oh well, another day will come when I'll have to get down to business. Dresses are disappearing I know. Everyone was asking me if I was interested in a certain type or color. Umm I think it's too late for me to be picky now. I'll get what I get. I don't even really care about prom anymore. This whole thing is just a bunch of crap. I tried to make it fun with all my friends, but they don't wanna work it out. I'm tired of being the mediator, so as far as I'm concerned everyone can just go to prom without me. Nah, I wouldn't pass it up, but that's what I feel like. It's not even close to prom, and I'm already sick of it. It will all come through in the end I know. Fun, fun. Seton, I love you. And I don't want yours and Lara's first prom experience to be crappy. I don't know what to do anymore.
Valentines Day is tomorrow. It just makes me depressed. Most of the time I don't really care, but this year it's getting to me. I just wish I had a guy that I could have fun with. I hate the lovey-dovey crap. I just want fun memories. I mean love is good too, but I just don't understand today's society. Everybody makes things so serious. I wanna be able to laugh at myself and at you. Can't I act stupid sometimes too? I wanna be relaxed. I wanna have silly secrets and treasures. Oh well. There are very few out there that fit that description. All I can do is wait for now. But in the meantime, I'm gonna feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow, I'm wearing all black. I'm gonna bring candy for myself and eat like a cow. I'l talk to those who aren't in a relationship. Sounds fun!
I'm scared about winter guard. I mean I'm excited too, but this year is really different. I try to be positive, but it's hard. I dunno maybe I shouldn't talk about how I feel. But I do know that we have a competition in two weeks, and I don't think we'll be ready. Sure, we'll get the routine done, but will it be good? Now, that's the question.
So many things on my mind. I can't express all my feelings. I'll just leave it with this. I've gotta start my homework sometime. Too much to do. Gah those stupid teachers. Some of em just need to move on.
Well, bye for now. Soon...
~smile~