2010 (One Month Hence)
I seriously don’t remember the last time I *ACTUALLY* accomplished a New Year’s resolution. This past year, I managed to knock out two out of three (I figured if I made more than one I improved my odds...). I definitely feel far, far, far better about myself than I did when 2010 began. That one was easy though, I mean, there was nowhere to go but up. But, pull-ups! Finally! Now I can do five in a row... Cracks me up that I finally did them on the last day of the year. But...
YAY PULL-UPS. ZOMGYAY.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Danced around in public with my clothes off. Highly recommended.
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made three. I did not learn how to spin fire poi. I did, however, accomplish feeling better about myself than I did then. And oh, damn, do I ever... AND ZOMGPULL-UPS!!!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not quite, lots of people who I consider friends but, no one close.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Lucky yet again. I wonder sometimes if this question is a ticking time bomb...
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn’t even go to Canada this year. From here on out that changes though. I’ve got plans. ^_^
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Hmm... I don’t really know. I have more than I ever have before already. How about more new experiences? I need to get out more... More self-love, too, I think that’s going into the resolution pile. No, pervs, not that kind of self-love...
7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?
April 13th, and July 29th, both are epic for me in very different ways, but both dates kinda changed everything.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming more of myself and what I want to be than ever before. Societal norms can suck it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Trying to control my eating... =/ Someday, I will figure out how to not be constantly, gut-wrenchingly obsessed with and anxious about food.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
As I type this my ribs are a little achy, which has me remembering and fearing the problems I had with my ribs earlier this year. Also, my lovely anaphylactic reaction to my flue shot was pretty damn special too... It wasn’t the best year for my health by any means.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought, A LOT, this year. My Mini Cooper maybe?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Creepy. My mind is still blown by how well he handled my random little crisis. Micah, too for helping me get back to myself and being such a huge source of support. I’m noticing a theme here... lolz
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Guess.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent on my lovely, finally clean and organized apartment that I now share. Heh. And you know, the usual, booze, dresses (I guess that’s new, actually), etc.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My fucking life... It’s all pretty exciting these days, in a way.
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2010?
Lots! Definitely a lot of various rap and hip hop songs, Girl Talk’s “All Night”, Nine Inch Nails “Year Zero”... Damn. That’s a massive change from years past. Telling!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Overeating, as per usual. Worrying. Being sick and/or injured.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Up north with friends and family, per usual. But then Christmas night at Brook’s and with Creepy was just epic.
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Yes. And for once, so far it really seems like a good, healthy kinda thing. Who knew?
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None. Kinda. Well, two I guess. Depends how you define one night stand. Heh. They were more like one night last hurrahs.
24. What were your favorite TV programs?
This year I was introduced to The IT Crowd & Summer Heights High. But really I enjoyed old favorites the most. Futurama (as per usual), Red Dwarf, Top Gear.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yep.
26. What was the best book you read?
I LOVED Post Office. ‘Bout time I read one of Bukowski’s books and not just his poety.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmm... That NIN last two albums were fucking awesome, I shouldn’t have given up on them.
28. What did you want and get?
CREEPY. Did you read any of the blogs or FB posts with the “ZOMGWANT” nonsense? That was all about him. The instant I saw him I was done for, and it blows my mind that I actually have him (and that things have gone really well so I can really let myself have him). You know when you watch a teen movie and the nerdy/weird/whatever girl actually get the super-gorgeous perfect popular boy? That big wide-eyed, sparkly look she gets and the euphoria of that first kiss? Yeah. That’s me. All the goddamn time. =D Go ahead and vomit, I won’t be offended. I also really wanted to get back to being self-reliant, and back in the gym. Huzzah! It was a really, really, really good year.
29. What did you want and not get?
I wanted more fitness, and less of me, but I failed myself in that this year. That’s my own damn fault.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Uh, not sure... I think “Inglorious Bastards” was my favorite I saw this year. Although “The Town” was impressive as well.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 27, and it was a glorious extended party that I enjoyed IMMENSELY. My friends and loved ones made it awesome.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If the politics of my workplace magically worked the idyllic way I think they should.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Much, much more enjoyable and cohesive than ever before. Pretty much still “ZOMGLOOKATME”, however, as per usual.
34. What kept you sane?
Dancing. Micah. Futurama. Prescription medications.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Gaga and Jeffree Star. Not gonna lie.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay rights and healthcare.
37. Who did you miss?
An awful lot of people. Listing all of you would be ridiculous.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Creepy. Duh...
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Fight for it.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
Honestly, this is what came to mind.
“There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain and the ones that observe
Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl
Don't like the backseat, gotta be first
I'm a like the ringleader,
I call the shots
I'm like a firecracker
I make it hot
When I put on a show
I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip just like a circus
Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus
There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared
So baby, I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship so beware
I'm a like the ringleader,
I call the shots
I'm like a firecracker,
I make it hot
When I put on a show
I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip just like a circus
Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus”
* * *
In summation, 2010 turned out to be the best year of my life thus far. And not just because I finally did pull-ups.
I feel like I’m finally where I should be, on the right path for me. I feel that I’ve finally accepted and embraced a lot more of who I am instead of trying to fit my perceived image of what people/the world expect from me. So much is going so right... I am still enjoying being a nude dancer. I’m getting better at it. Barring illness and injury, I think I’m set for a few years. Maybe more. Helping Micah with his nightclub stuff has been a blast, a gratifying and fun learning experience. I’m proud to be a part of epiem as the company grows. The whole project just keeps getting more and more exciting and I’m both happy and flattered to be along for the ride.
Then there’s my relationship with Creepy.
Things just keep getting better. All of it. I don’t even know how to explain. We seem to work so well together that our time together is just seemless. Not that we don’t have little difficulties and glitches. But, there’s always an understanding. I legitimately feel like we’re a team, like it’s a real partnership, you know? He helps me. I help him. We seem to fit into each other’s lives so, well, perfectly. There is one exception, one sticking point. I worry that someday it’ll become a complete impasse. For now it can be infuriating, but is on the whole easy to ignore. Still I forsee a major sticking point down the line and I don’t think it will be pretty.
That said. He has made me incredibly happy. And I believe he will continue to make me very happy. There is no doubt in my mind that we’ll be celebrating 2012 together, too. Finally, a man worth fighting for. A man who makes me *better*. I’m incredibly optimistic. Sure, still scared. Worried. Skittish. Incredibly optimistic all the same.
In conclusion:
=D
My life is amazing. And I am truly grateful. And I am incredibly excited for 2011 and all that lies ahead.
“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.” - Coco Chanel
My resolutions for 2011?
- Put effort into loving myself.
- Get down to 19% body fat.
- Conquer my disordered eating.
Ambitious? Hells yeah.
YAY PULL-UPS. ZOMGYAY.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Danced around in public with my clothes off. Highly recommended.
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made three. I did not learn how to spin fire poi. I did, however, accomplish feeling better about myself than I did then. And oh, damn, do I ever... AND ZOMGPULL-UPS!!!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not quite, lots of people who I consider friends but, no one close.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Lucky yet again. I wonder sometimes if this question is a ticking time bomb...
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn’t even go to Canada this year. From here on out that changes though. I’ve got plans. ^_^
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Hmm... I don’t really know. I have more than I ever have before already. How about more new experiences? I need to get out more... More self-love, too, I think that’s going into the resolution pile. No, pervs, not that kind of self-love...
7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?
April 13th, and July 29th, both are epic for me in very different ways, but both dates kinda changed everything.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming more of myself and what I want to be than ever before. Societal norms can suck it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Trying to control my eating... =/ Someday, I will figure out how to not be constantly, gut-wrenchingly obsessed with and anxious about food.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
As I type this my ribs are a little achy, which has me remembering and fearing the problems I had with my ribs earlier this year. Also, my lovely anaphylactic reaction to my flue shot was pretty damn special too... It wasn’t the best year for my health by any means.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought, A LOT, this year. My Mini Cooper maybe?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Creepy. My mind is still blown by how well he handled my random little crisis. Micah, too for helping me get back to myself and being such a huge source of support. I’m noticing a theme here... lolz
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Guess.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent on my lovely, finally clean and organized apartment that I now share. Heh. And you know, the usual, booze, dresses (I guess that’s new, actually), etc.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My fucking life... It’s all pretty exciting these days, in a way.
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2010?
Lots! Definitely a lot of various rap and hip hop songs, Girl Talk’s “All Night”, Nine Inch Nails “Year Zero”... Damn. That’s a massive change from years past. Telling!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Overeating, as per usual. Worrying. Being sick and/or injured.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Up north with friends and family, per usual. But then Christmas night at Brook’s and with Creepy was just epic.
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Yes. And for once, so far it really seems like a good, healthy kinda thing. Who knew?
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None. Kinda. Well, two I guess. Depends how you define one night stand. Heh. They were more like one night last hurrahs.
24. What were your favorite TV programs?
This year I was introduced to The IT Crowd & Summer Heights High. But really I enjoyed old favorites the most. Futurama (as per usual), Red Dwarf, Top Gear.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yep.
26. What was the best book you read?
I LOVED Post Office. ‘Bout time I read one of Bukowski’s books and not just his poety.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmm... That NIN last two albums were fucking awesome, I shouldn’t have given up on them.
28. What did you want and get?
CREEPY. Did you read any of the blogs or FB posts with the “ZOMGWANT” nonsense? That was all about him. The instant I saw him I was done for, and it blows my mind that I actually have him (and that things have gone really well so I can really let myself have him). You know when you watch a teen movie and the nerdy/weird/whatever girl actually get the super-gorgeous perfect popular boy? That big wide-eyed, sparkly look she gets and the euphoria of that first kiss? Yeah. That’s me. All the goddamn time. =D Go ahead and vomit, I won’t be offended. I also really wanted to get back to being self-reliant, and back in the gym. Huzzah! It was a really, really, really good year.
29. What did you want and not get?
I wanted more fitness, and less of me, but I failed myself in that this year. That’s my own damn fault.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Uh, not sure... I think “Inglorious Bastards” was my favorite I saw this year. Although “The Town” was impressive as well.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 27, and it was a glorious extended party that I enjoyed IMMENSELY. My friends and loved ones made it awesome.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If the politics of my workplace magically worked the idyllic way I think they should.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Much, much more enjoyable and cohesive than ever before. Pretty much still “ZOMGLOOKATME”, however, as per usual.
34. What kept you sane?
Dancing. Micah. Futurama. Prescription medications.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Gaga and Jeffree Star. Not gonna lie.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay rights and healthcare.
37. Who did you miss?
An awful lot of people. Listing all of you would be ridiculous.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Creepy. Duh...
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Fight for it.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
Honestly, this is what came to mind.
“There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain and the ones that observe
Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl
Don't like the backseat, gotta be first
I'm a like the ringleader,
I call the shots
I'm like a firecracker
I make it hot
When I put on a show
I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip just like a circus
Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus
There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared
So baby, I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship so beware
I'm a like the ringleader,
I call the shots
I'm like a firecracker,
I make it hot
When I put on a show
I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip just like a circus
Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus”
* * *
In summation, 2010 turned out to be the best year of my life thus far. And not just because I finally did pull-ups.
I feel like I’m finally where I should be, on the right path for me. I feel that I’ve finally accepted and embraced a lot more of who I am instead of trying to fit my perceived image of what people/the world expect from me. So much is going so right... I am still enjoying being a nude dancer. I’m getting better at it. Barring illness and injury, I think I’m set for a few years. Maybe more. Helping Micah with his nightclub stuff has been a blast, a gratifying and fun learning experience. I’m proud to be a part of epiem as the company grows. The whole project just keeps getting more and more exciting and I’m both happy and flattered to be along for the ride.
Then there’s my relationship with Creepy.
Things just keep getting better. All of it. I don’t even know how to explain. We seem to work so well together that our time together is just seemless. Not that we don’t have little difficulties and glitches. But, there’s always an understanding. I legitimately feel like we’re a team, like it’s a real partnership, you know? He helps me. I help him. We seem to fit into each other’s lives so, well, perfectly. There is one exception, one sticking point. I worry that someday it’ll become a complete impasse. For now it can be infuriating, but is on the whole easy to ignore. Still I forsee a major sticking point down the line and I don’t think it will be pretty.
That said. He has made me incredibly happy. And I believe he will continue to make me very happy. There is no doubt in my mind that we’ll be celebrating 2012 together, too. Finally, a man worth fighting for. A man who makes me *better*. I’m incredibly optimistic. Sure, still scared. Worried. Skittish. Incredibly optimistic all the same.
In conclusion:
=D
My life is amazing. And I am truly grateful. And I am incredibly excited for 2011 and all that lies ahead.
“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.” - Coco Chanel
My resolutions for 2011?
- Put effort into loving myself.
- Get down to 19% body fat.
- Conquer my disordered eating.
Ambitious? Hells yeah.