(no subject)
so this is the disappointment they tell you about
in all the books and poems those men who wrote so much more beautifully than I
warning of this impending doom
most of them addicts who had what it took
(whatever the hell that is)
the engine jerks but never starts sitting on top of a traintrack
they won't read the concern on my face
because I have forgotten how to feel it
in my lifetime I have written about maybe fifteen women
usually I meant it
but meaning it isn't really what matters anyway
so I am old and all tired of telling those young-faced girls
all about my ancient pain and how I can't retell to them just
what is happening in that tired brain of mine
but some of them hear it whirring
like an old office building full of fans
long abandoned, full of paper scraps and the old meals of the homeless
once I had confidence
now I'm not sure why
in all the books and poems those men who wrote so much more beautifully than I
warning of this impending doom
most of them addicts who had what it took
(whatever the hell that is)
the engine jerks but never starts sitting on top of a traintrack
they won't read the concern on my face
because I have forgotten how to feel it
in my lifetime I have written about maybe fifteen women
usually I meant it
but meaning it isn't really what matters anyway
so I am old and all tired of telling those young-faced girls
all about my ancient pain and how I can't retell to them just
what is happening in that tired brain of mine
but some of them hear it whirring
like an old office building full of fans
long abandoned, full of paper scraps and the old meals of the homeless
once I had confidence
now I'm not sure why