(no subject)
well, my life as a whitworth college student may very well be crashing quickly to an end. I feel as if God is closing doors that i am trying with all my might to keep open. this is the first time in a long while where i have felt as if i honestly dont know where i am going or what i am going to be doing once im there.
do i go to haiti? the thought just to inspire me and fill me with an anxious excitement, but now i just feel as if i am not ready, as if God doesnt want me there...yet. Still, i want to go, or at least i think God wants me to go. Could it possibly be that i projected all this Haiti stuff onto God, or God merely wanted me to think thats where He wanted me to go so i could be taught something? I dont like either of those questions one bit. They trouble me deeply.
My stomache just hurts, not from food or lack thereof, but out of heartache. I love whitworth. i feel i belong here.
part of me wants to be comforted, but part wants to remain uncomforted so in this raw painful emotion i will avoid God's grace. My heart cries out and i cannot deny God has a plan, and that this fits in it somehow. I feel as if in 10 years, i will look back at moments like these and be glad I endured.
my actions have caught up to me. i have lived in reckless abandon, and responsibility has kicked me in the face
do i go to haiti? the thought just to inspire me and fill me with an anxious excitement, but now i just feel as if i am not ready, as if God doesnt want me there...yet. Still, i want to go, or at least i think God wants me to go. Could it possibly be that i projected all this Haiti stuff onto God, or God merely wanted me to think thats where He wanted me to go so i could be taught something? I dont like either of those questions one bit. They trouble me deeply.
My stomache just hurts, not from food or lack thereof, but out of heartache. I love whitworth. i feel i belong here.
part of me wants to be comforted, but part wants to remain uncomforted so in this raw painful emotion i will avoid God's grace. My heart cries out and i cannot deny God has a plan, and that this fits in it somehow. I feel as if in 10 years, i will look back at moments like these and be glad I endured.
my actions have caught up to me. i have lived in reckless abandon, and responsibility has kicked me in the face