(no subject)
There's a few things I want to take the time to get down somewhere.
Oh, and our new receptionist is gorgeous!
- The fucking update project is fucking over!! It's bee hell, six weeks of hell, and now I don't have to deal with it ever again. Once I've handled all the fallout from this one, and submitted my capacity study and process application report to the national standardisation committee. Yeah, so not almost done but getting bloody close, and it's awesome stuff left as it is. I'll probably smash the report out tomorrow.
- I had a really good talk with Brendon the other day. It was just as good for him as it was for me - something had gone wrong earlier in the day, and he has the same issue as me of not being able to just forget something. Things that I have done (both good and bad) come up to mind at random times, and this can be disconcerting. But it's what we do with that input that really determines how we react to something, and is what I feel moving on is all about. Being able to determine the emotional outcome of a memory. It wont ever be safe to put something aside forever, but it does get easier to deal with things on the whole. If it doesn't, you need to start looking for the silver lining in things more often. There's always a good side to a bad situation.
- I've given up on the idea of putting a sound system in my car. Instead, I'm going to go to a chiropractor and have them poke my back until it's better, and tell me what I have to do to keep it that way.
- I went out on Saturday night, thanks to Mel and Ben, and had an awesome time. I met a new guy, who seems pretty cool. Started talking to some unknown girls, got to know one of them a bit better, but nothing more than that. I mean, hell it's a vast improvement from where I was at. We talked, we drank, I didn't get a number but you can't be perfect on your first go. I'm still quite chuffed that I was able to get that far without freaking out. Thank you bourbon!
- My brain feels like it's submerged in tar. It's taking things a long time to happen, my ability to write anything well has fallen to pieces (hence why I'm back on here, shaking my brain booty to get it untarred). It's making work a living nightmare. Since now I'm expected to write things. But then again, I did write two reports over the past day and a half, so that's pretty good.
- I've been given four tickets to go to a comedy show next Friday night, and I'm wondering what I should do with the last ticket. I offered two to a workmate of mine, who is another active member of the Social Committee, and one for her boyfriend, both because I want to get to know him better and to make sure he understands that I understand. It's a overthinking single guy thing. But now I have no idea what to do with the last ticket. Do I meet someone over coffee tomorrow, and say "Hey, I've got a spare ticket..." or what? Well that's what I want to do. What I will probably actually do is take Mel, or Brendon. I don't know, it's all seemingly too hard at the moment.
- I'm tired of people complaining about Centrelink. Sure, if you are in honest need of some form of social security payment, then I'm all for it. But if you're just a dole bludger, treating your vagina like an ATM to take some of my hard earned money away, then I personally think you should put on some pants, buy some condoms and work a job. I don't mind paying taxes, when it's used for things like roads, traffic signs, police, etc. But for lazy mofos, I draw the line.
- I am going crazy from many things, but one of them seems to be the lack of touch from another person. A woman at work hugged me today, and it was all I could do to not break down and cry. I catch myself pushing my lips against things, remembering what it's like to have something, someone, pushing back. Pushing my hair back over my ears reminds me of the times I've both done it to girls I've been with, or they've done the same to me. I want that intimacy back. Brendon agrees that I need to get me a missus, but for entirely different reasons. It seems to be a lot harder than it should be. I think that when I'm in a stronger fiscal position I'm going to start going out for drinks more often. I've got one guy who I can hit the town with, and we have had limited success on our first venture. But definitely need to find someone.
- I've got two goals set at the moment, and I'm falling behind on them both. The current deadline is 21 August, and if I've proved anything to myself in the past few weeks, it's that I will do anything to meet a deadline. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but overall they're to get me to be a more sociable person (as in comfortable in being casual-social, meeting new people etc) and to do what I have to to move forward further at work. Part of that will involve actually studying for my uni - something that I am not looking forward to.
Oh, and our new receptionist is gorgeous!