(no subject)
For the past few weeks Ive been depressed again. Sleeping all day. Not even looking out the window.
It turns out the car salesman training was a bunch of bullshit. That hit me pretty hard I think.
I was good for a while, I dont know what turned me off this time. But like all the other times, it was hard, this time harder then the rest, to pull myself out.
Today I woke up at 1:00. I saw the sun peeking through my blinds but I kept my eyes shut.
I decided to go for a bike ride to get some fresh air but my Mom wouldnt let me take emmas bike, so I ended up jogging instead. I dont like trails, so I made my own path. I took a walk through the woods, and ventured to a spot where my friends and me used to go. Its a spot behind BCC, past the tennis, and past the basketball courts. You follow few trails, and it takes you into an open field. I was hoping to see some deer, but nothing but rabbits. I followed the field to the rocks we used to turn into obstacles. The big bolder like rocks were surrounded by trees and swamp area, making each rock a challenge to jump to.
It wasnt really much of a contest as much as a bunch of kids looking for obstacles that were set for us by the hands of their original creator. There was no competion back then. It felt more like freedom.
I love nature. I love spring. I love the occasional stand out of green you see, when everything around it is still dead from the passed over winter. I love the fields that havent been touched by machines and people that ruin them. It just felt good being over there; jumping my way from island to island, avoiding the water that looks like it hasnt been filtered for hunders of years.
There was one jump where I missed my mark, and my back foot fell into the swamp. It was cold, but the water, as disgusting as people might imagine it, felt good on the heel. Water is water.
Anyways, today exercise got my out of my slump. Last time it was my sister and 2 little cousins.
Maybe I should start exercising a few days a week. Im going to start exercising a few days a week.