This blog is about me.
In the past, I would write blogs mainly for the purpose of entertaining others. I assumed, quite arrogantly and innocently, that everything I had to say was directly beneficial for anyone and everyone to read.
It was this assumption that carried the momentum of my posts. As I slowly began to realize that the words I had to say were meager at best and useless at worst, the momentum was lost. Thus, all previous attempts at blogging were doomed to fail.
I come to this now with a new purpose: to directly benefit myself, and no one else. I'm hoping that this newfound sense of self-centeredness will help carry the momentum of my blogging for much longer than it previously had. Or at least I won't feel an obligation to post more than I want, thereby turning this into a dreaded task or chore.
With the intro out of the way, I will now describe exactly what I want to do with my life on a daily basis.
1. I want to play guitar. Every day. All day. I want to improve my skill so that I can listen to a well-produced song and not feel intimidated by it. I want to be able to write a song that is held back only by my imagination, not my lack of guitar skill.
2. I want to exercise. I've always been overweight, and around this time last year I was 215 lbs. Throughout the past year I've learned more about nutrition, healthy eating and an active lifestyle, and I shed all that weight very quickly. I now weigh a satisfactory 160lbs, but I'm still out of shape. I want to build my body into its ideal form, because after all, I have to live in it. Why not get it to function the way it's supposed to?
3. I want to spend a significant amount of time with my kids, both together and individually. Kai is three years old, and Rebekah just had her first birthday. Kai, specifically, is at the age where he's developing memories he'll carry with him for the rest of his life. Do I want him to remember me as a distant, distracted father, or an interactive, loving, fun dad? It's one or the other, and it requires effort on my part.
These all seem like simple, attainable goals, and for the most part they truly are. However, I work at a physically and mentally exhausting job that I hate, and I come home just about completely drained every day. Kendall has been cleaning and taking care of the kids all the time I've been at work, so she's as tired as I am. So these three goals I've set for myself often fall by the wayside simply because there's just no time.
These goals are nevertheless important to me for this reason: if I meet them each day, I'm happy. I'm content with my life. I feel like progress is being made. I can go back to my shitty job the next day because my life is still under my control. If, however, I don't meet all or any of my goals, I go to work the next day miserable and hopeless.
I want the purpose, the theme of this blog to be the pursuit of my goals, a chronicling of my success or failure at these goals. I really don't want this blog to turn into a place where I complain about work, so I'll try to veer away from that if I notice it happening. That said, sometimes I'll want to vent, and that will be good and beneficial for me.
Though I'm writing for myself and not anyone else, I still welcome comments. I like honest thoughts, even if they're not necessarily what I might want to hear. More importantly, I love talking about myself. I recently learned (belatedly, I know) that I'm a narcissist in every possible way. I think everyone else is, too, but maybe that's just my narcissism talking. Point being, since my blog is about me, all comments will at least indirectly be about me. So, please. Indulge me.
It was this assumption that carried the momentum of my posts. As I slowly began to realize that the words I had to say were meager at best and useless at worst, the momentum was lost. Thus, all previous attempts at blogging were doomed to fail.
I come to this now with a new purpose: to directly benefit myself, and no one else. I'm hoping that this newfound sense of self-centeredness will help carry the momentum of my blogging for much longer than it previously had. Or at least I won't feel an obligation to post more than I want, thereby turning this into a dreaded task or chore.
With the intro out of the way, I will now describe exactly what I want to do with my life on a daily basis.
1. I want to play guitar. Every day. All day. I want to improve my skill so that I can listen to a well-produced song and not feel intimidated by it. I want to be able to write a song that is held back only by my imagination, not my lack of guitar skill.
2. I want to exercise. I've always been overweight, and around this time last year I was 215 lbs. Throughout the past year I've learned more about nutrition, healthy eating and an active lifestyle, and I shed all that weight very quickly. I now weigh a satisfactory 160lbs, but I'm still out of shape. I want to build my body into its ideal form, because after all, I have to live in it. Why not get it to function the way it's supposed to?
3. I want to spend a significant amount of time with my kids, both together and individually. Kai is three years old, and Rebekah just had her first birthday. Kai, specifically, is at the age where he's developing memories he'll carry with him for the rest of his life. Do I want him to remember me as a distant, distracted father, or an interactive, loving, fun dad? It's one or the other, and it requires effort on my part.
These all seem like simple, attainable goals, and for the most part they truly are. However, I work at a physically and mentally exhausting job that I hate, and I come home just about completely drained every day. Kendall has been cleaning and taking care of the kids all the time I've been at work, so she's as tired as I am. So these three goals I've set for myself often fall by the wayside simply because there's just no time.
These goals are nevertheless important to me for this reason: if I meet them each day, I'm happy. I'm content with my life. I feel like progress is being made. I can go back to my shitty job the next day because my life is still under my control. If, however, I don't meet all or any of my goals, I go to work the next day miserable and hopeless.
I want the purpose, the theme of this blog to be the pursuit of my goals, a chronicling of my success or failure at these goals. I really don't want this blog to turn into a place where I complain about work, so I'll try to veer away from that if I notice it happening. That said, sometimes I'll want to vent, and that will be good and beneficial for me.
Though I'm writing for myself and not anyone else, I still welcome comments. I like honest thoughts, even if they're not necessarily what I might want to hear. More importantly, I love talking about myself. I recently learned (belatedly, I know) that I'm a narcissist in every possible way. I think everyone else is, too, but maybe that's just my narcissism talking. Point being, since my blog is about me, all comments will at least indirectly be about me. So, please. Indulge me.