One of those updates.
Hey everyone,
I was sitting here thinking, and I think it's time for one of the more deeper updates. I haven't posted one of these in a long time, and I figure it's about time to do it. On a side note, Sarah and I are doing great and I'm truly happy. I've never really been this clear about things, and I've never been so calm about things in awhile. But it is never to late to see it. Her and I have something great, sure, we have things to work on just like any other couple, but who doesn't? We'll get there. Faith is something that I have always had within myself, and others. I put my heart into everything that I do, and this is no different. I look at Sarah and I as if destiny will push us where we need to go, and it will do it in togetherness, and I have no doubt in this. But as time goes by, wisdom tends to grow, we tend to find ourselves in whatever chapter we view in our lives. Which brings me to my current topic.
You ever tried to understand life? Tried to understand why you are here.. and searched your soul for what makes you become who you are? I know I have. I have some answers, and I think the rest will come as time surprises me with more. But then again, do we ever get all the answers.. yes.. that's right, no one does and this is something I try, be yet we fear life. Our whole life is lived in fear, thats why we must prevail over all fear.. Fear holds love, religion, people, everything... it holds all true power back.. thats why we cant be afarid to have fear, but we cant be afraid to stand against it. It isn't the flawless way we go about every day life, nor is it the flawless intentions we have on every situation we go through. But it is the persistence of the way we go about moving our way through this orb we call our existance. Fear is not just a word, it is an every minute emotion. We all feel it in some sort of way. It can be doing something wrong, and being afarid to own up to it. Being afarid to look that person you love in the eyes, and tell them that it is indeed so. You can be afarid to raise your hands and praise the very spirit that guides us through these band of emotions. Nobody can say they don't feel this fear. Because everyone who is anyone fears something in their lives. Mine? you ask.
My deepest fear is yet my greatest ally, and that is the love in which I instill in people. Will it be betrayed? or will it be returned? Will it be like the person I'm with and be returned every day. Will this love be returned by my friends and family every day. Will the love I have for the mats and the football field, when will it be cruel.. and when will it be generous? Ally, but enemy... that is indeed my deepest fear. But you can't be afarid to look fear in the eyes,
"Fear is worst faced eye-to-eye, but it's the only way to win."
I am no longer afarid of my emotions, I am no longer afarid of what my eyes put infront of me. I am afarid to face them in any sense, and I will not lay down. I said that to myself thursday night, and I will hope that this whole world has a chance to say it some day. Fears are great when you beat them, and I have did this. Physical fears are just an obsticle, my shoulders.. my pain.. it is all just a wall for me to climb.. and I will beat it. I will not be defeated, it is all in our souls. Mankind is mortal my friends, but being mortal does not mean spirit can not partake.
I'm one of those people who go through life trying to make sense of its happening, I try to understand why it is this way. Then I try to put it in my own words, and try to completely understand it. Its a great thing, to make me a great person. yet I will die one day still trying to fully understand it, because no one man has.. only one spirit, and we all know who he is. My aunt asked me to be the Miracle Man she knew I could be, yet I cant perform miracles. I can only help you smile, and I will do that. I can only give you Sarah.. my heart, and I can only fill you with laughter and memories.. no matter what happens. You'll always have those. But dont be afarid to get stronger, it will define us. It will help us understand this life that nobody will ever fully comprehend. I can only give my friends and family the passion and care they deserve, and those same memories. I'm no miracle worker, but that is what Aunt Barbera means by be the "Miracle Man." And I shall.. life is great, if we pursue it in the correct ways, and we beat the obstacles.. its only a matter of time.. until we are always smiling.. and being truly complete. Thank you, Sarah.. Thank you Zac, Ashley, Matt, Josh, Paitence, Cassandra and Shaun.. thanks to all of you who help me through my life. But most of all, thank you Jesus, without my love with Sarah.. and my family and friends.. I couldn't be Josh Rose.. and in my eyes, that's all I should ever be.
J-L-R
10/29/05
I was sitting here thinking, and I think it's time for one of the more deeper updates. I haven't posted one of these in a long time, and I figure it's about time to do it. On a side note, Sarah and I are doing great and I'm truly happy. I've never really been this clear about things, and I've never been so calm about things in awhile. But it is never to late to see it. Her and I have something great, sure, we have things to work on just like any other couple, but who doesn't? We'll get there. Faith is something that I have always had within myself, and others. I put my heart into everything that I do, and this is no different. I look at Sarah and I as if destiny will push us where we need to go, and it will do it in togetherness, and I have no doubt in this. But as time goes by, wisdom tends to grow, we tend to find ourselves in whatever chapter we view in our lives. Which brings me to my current topic.
You ever tried to understand life? Tried to understand why you are here.. and searched your soul for what makes you become who you are? I know I have. I have some answers, and I think the rest will come as time surprises me with more. But then again, do we ever get all the answers.. yes.. that's right, no one does and this is something I try, be yet we fear life. Our whole life is lived in fear, thats why we must prevail over all fear.. Fear holds love, religion, people, everything... it holds all true power back.. thats why we cant be afarid to have fear, but we cant be afraid to stand against it. It isn't the flawless way we go about every day life, nor is it the flawless intentions we have on every situation we go through. But it is the persistence of the way we go about moving our way through this orb we call our existance. Fear is not just a word, it is an every minute emotion. We all feel it in some sort of way. It can be doing something wrong, and being afarid to own up to it. Being afarid to look that person you love in the eyes, and tell them that it is indeed so. You can be afarid to raise your hands and praise the very spirit that guides us through these band of emotions. Nobody can say they don't feel this fear. Because everyone who is anyone fears something in their lives. Mine? you ask.
My deepest fear is yet my greatest ally, and that is the love in which I instill in people. Will it be betrayed? or will it be returned? Will it be like the person I'm with and be returned every day. Will this love be returned by my friends and family every day. Will the love I have for the mats and the football field, when will it be cruel.. and when will it be generous? Ally, but enemy... that is indeed my deepest fear. But you can't be afarid to look fear in the eyes,
"Fear is worst faced eye-to-eye, but it's the only way to win."
I am no longer afarid of my emotions, I am no longer afarid of what my eyes put infront of me. I am afarid to face them in any sense, and I will not lay down. I said that to myself thursday night, and I will hope that this whole world has a chance to say it some day. Fears are great when you beat them, and I have did this. Physical fears are just an obsticle, my shoulders.. my pain.. it is all just a wall for me to climb.. and I will beat it. I will not be defeated, it is all in our souls. Mankind is mortal my friends, but being mortal does not mean spirit can not partake.
I'm one of those people who go through life trying to make sense of its happening, I try to understand why it is this way. Then I try to put it in my own words, and try to completely understand it. Its a great thing, to make me a great person. yet I will die one day still trying to fully understand it, because no one man has.. only one spirit, and we all know who he is. My aunt asked me to be the Miracle Man she knew I could be, yet I cant perform miracles. I can only help you smile, and I will do that. I can only give you Sarah.. my heart, and I can only fill you with laughter and memories.. no matter what happens. You'll always have those. But dont be afarid to get stronger, it will define us. It will help us understand this life that nobody will ever fully comprehend. I can only give my friends and family the passion and care they deserve, and those same memories. I'm no miracle worker, but that is what Aunt Barbera means by be the "Miracle Man." And I shall.. life is great, if we pursue it in the correct ways, and we beat the obstacles.. its only a matter of time.. until we are always smiling.. and being truly complete. Thank you, Sarah.. Thank you Zac, Ashley, Matt, Josh, Paitence, Cassandra and Shaun.. thanks to all of you who help me through my life. But most of all, thank you Jesus, without my love with Sarah.. and my family and friends.. I couldn't be Josh Rose.. and in my eyes, that's all I should ever be.
J-L-R
10/29/05