Don't want to believe it, until I hear it, from your mouth....
These days I am not a man of religious conviction or devotion. I find myself begging myself for salvation and not any other supernatural force. If this is totally inexcusable, you will have to forgive me. In a world where people are dying daily due to totally avoidable means, I almost have to look at myself as no less a sinner than many. Why not hold myself above all else? This is me saying "hey, i'm not at all transfixed with myself", when, it is true that I am a thief attempting to turn into a king over night in a world of egotistical scapegoats and I really do hold myself in some kind of total regard. I'm not sure I deserve to suffer for this. I believe it's a human quality.
To find yourself in this golden age of heightened skill with only what must be either no admirable qualities or very veiled qualities is unmercifully tough. To be nineteen years old and to believe you have no use to this world where people in need are succumbing to famine, death, and mental destruction is absolutely pathetic. For me to write that and harp on such blasphemous preceedings in my life is absolutely pathetic. I'm not sure I am though. I don't think that's a thing that I decide.
I wish life were easier. I wish I could wake up and know exactly what I wanted every morning (or, per the usual case, afternoon). This is a total impossibility in my current state of being. I don't want to transform into a new being, I just want to develop new layers and exploit them for their maximum effect. I believe it would be a great thing to have confidence. To be a charming man. To have people like me for who I am inside. I'm not sure these lofty goals either are possiblities. Maybe I am doomed for a peril-laced future. Maybe I am destined to live this life of lonelyness and self-confusion forever. One this is for ceartin. I will never quit. I will never surrender. And if you always remember me, I will never really die.
To find yourself in this golden age of heightened skill with only what must be either no admirable qualities or very veiled qualities is unmercifully tough. To be nineteen years old and to believe you have no use to this world where people in need are succumbing to famine, death, and mental destruction is absolutely pathetic. For me to write that and harp on such blasphemous preceedings in my life is absolutely pathetic. I'm not sure I am though. I don't think that's a thing that I decide.
I wish life were easier. I wish I could wake up and know exactly what I wanted every morning (or, per the usual case, afternoon). This is a total impossibility in my current state of being. I don't want to transform into a new being, I just want to develop new layers and exploit them for their maximum effect. I believe it would be a great thing to have confidence. To be a charming man. To have people like me for who I am inside. I'm not sure these lofty goals either are possiblities. Maybe I am doomed for a peril-laced future. Maybe I am destined to live this life of lonelyness and self-confusion forever. One this is for ceartin. I will never quit. I will never surrender. And if you always remember me, I will never really die.