Fic: Before the Present to the Past is Lost

[joshdonnalyman]

Title: Before the Present to the Past is Lost
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Will/Rachel
Word Count: 3,116
Spoilers: Follows canon through The Spanish Teacher, uses speculation/potential spoilers for upcoming episodes. Also, I've not yet seen anything after the Christmas episode, so I'm basing some of the things in this on what I've read.
Disclaimer

Comments

[wistfulwatcher]

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT! I mean, excellent fic, I enjoyed it immensely. In all seriousness, this was phenomenal; a perfect depiction of the bittersweetness they could have in the future from where we are right now in the show. I love the quiet romanticism of this piece, and yet the very deep, very constant ache it presents in the knowledge that this isn't going to change anything between them, but that doesn't make this any less meaningful between them.

While I hate the idea of Finchel, namely their marriage, I do think it would create a Rachel like this, that is so torn, that is so lacking in the confidence she used to have, and that can resign herself to one night of connection to love without any expectations.

The sex, as always, was steamy and sexy and so sadly beautiful. I really connected and empathized with Rachel more than I feel like I usually do.

I think you did an especially amazing job tackling the issues surrounding the marriage, and the lack of interaction from Will.

He has a special relationship with Finn, one that she has always wanted. She thought they had that but the past year made her question if it was all just in her mind.

I'm so glad you address this relationship changed caused by the abrupt stop of any interaction between these two. (I'm not bitter at all!)

She looks down at her hands, at the rings on her finger. “I’ve made a mistake and I don’t know how to fix it.”

This, to me, is such a sign of how broken she could be after Finn, how lacking in confidence she is--S1 Rachel would never say this, and yet I can easily hear her saying it now, in just a short while into the Finchel marriage.

“I think that’s the right decision, Rachel. I think you and Finn are too young for this commitment and I think you both want different things. I’ve been afraid that you would give up your dreams.”

Such a perfect Will line--exactly what he needs to say, succinct, and to the point. It's crafted like he's been practicing the words over and over, and just waiting for the opportunity to say them to her. It has the perfect amount of relief in it, like he's been dying for her to find this choice on her own.

“Considering the things we’ve said to each other in the past, the feelings we’ve discussed. I figured anything I said, you would think it was because I was jealous or something. I wasn’t impartial and I didn’t want to upset you or make you think that there was hope for us,” he says bluntly.

AHHHH! I smell set up for the continuation...I'm on board, in case you needed a headcount :D

“You don’t need me. You don’t need any guy. You’re strong enough to go to New York and NYADA on your own. You used to be so independent, Rachel. Maybe that is what you need right now."

It is, it is! God how I want to tell her this, exactly!

[wistfulwatcher]

(My goal is to someday make it under the 4300 character limit...)

“I’m still your biggest fan. That’s never going to change,” he whispers. His head is moving closer to hers.

*ugly crying* I JUST SHIP THEM SO MU-UH-UCH!

“Perfect. I feel like I belong here with you. Like this is meant to be.” She looks him in the eye and can see him start to second-guess this again.

“Rache-”

“I know,” she says quickly. “I know that this might not become anything and that it is about tonight and everything going on and I appreciate that, but I also know that this is about feelings. I know you still love me and I still love you. And this above everything is about love.”

This is such a beautiful bit of dialouge. In case you haven't gathered, I really love your dialogue. I love her assessment that this is about feelings--not discounting it, or saying it's just sex for connection or anything that is such a mainstay of fic. But the opposite, that this is all about feelings and love and that's all she needs, one night of it, to get through her divorce. I think that is a really amazing way to portray the depth of their love for each other in one simple statement.

“Rachel, you understand that I can’t do this, right? I love you, but I love Emma too. And when we’re done with this break, I’m marrying her.”

DEAD. My heart is broken, and I am dead. But I am also so much more in love with Rachel for her acceptance of this, and her selflessness in not begging, or jealousy, or trying to change his mind--that she's willing to take even a portion of his heart because she just wants him to be happy.

GUH. Please, don't stop writing them. Just write them, all day and all night so that I don't stop shipping them, even when I don't see them so much as breath the same air on the show. I swear to God, if we don't start getting some more interaction from them I'm going to sic evil clowns on Ryan Murphy. Anyway, thank you so much for writing this!