I miss her

[joshaw]

Okay, one reason I don't post here as much is because I do myspace and I usually forget to make double-posts. But now I don't post as much because life has been really tough. I mean, in the grand scheme of all things I guess everything is okay, but I'm going through some stuff with my girlfriend. Everything between the two of us is okay, in fact, we're madly in love. The problem lies in the fact that there's a lot of other crap to deal with that's going to keep us apart. I thought I might never see her again, and I've been a wreck (I haven't cried this much in my entire life. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I cried). I was able to talk to her today and it was mostly just us blubbering about how much we love each other. It was torturous, but nice. Keli said that we will see each other again, we just don't know when. It hurts so much for her to be so close and for me not to be able to see her. The void she leaves in my life when is not around is astronomical. I've been a mess all week. I'm doing better today because I've been talking to a couple of people and because I got to talk to her today. Just hearing her voice gave me a little solace.

I wish I could shut my mind off, just for a little bit, because I'm going crazy.

This isn't a farewell post or anything, but it could be a very long time before you see me again.