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Title: Josh's Tells
Genre: TWW (J/D)
Rating: G
Spoilers: Through Requiem
"Hi."
He hugged me and I smiled, breathing in that Josh smell that I've never been able to name. I think it has something to do with the fact that it's woven into my earliest memories. Josh, though he would never admit it, has been the steady figure in my life. Funny, considering I don't think he considers himself that steady of a figure in anyone's life. But he was always there. He was my first babysitter - something that still makes his eye twitch when I remind him of it. He was the one I ran to when Dad came home too drunk to make it up the stairs. He was family. He was the big brother I never had, ten years older than me and a constant presence in my life.
"I'm glad you're here. I don't think I could do it without you."
"Your husband is here isn't he?"
I smile softly and smooth my son's curls. "Yeah, but, I don't know. You and Liz, you guys were the only ones I wanted to see here today." Josh and Liz had never gotten along - Dad called them "fire and ice" though the nicknames were liable to switch depending on the issue or the day or the weather. But, like Josh, Liz was a part of my childhood. I remembered braiding her hair and how jealous I was when Ellie and Zoey came along and usurped my little sister role.
"Yeah. It's like a reunion." He mumbled this and started to smile.
I watched his eyes follow Donna across the room and took the opportunity to change the subject to something happier and much more entertaining for me than walking down memory lane, again. "So, how's Donna?" I smirked and shifted the baby on my hip. His eyes snapped back to mine and he visibly tensed.
"What do you mean? She's fine. Donna's fine. Why do you ask? What have you heard?"
Laughing I patted his arm, "Down boy, I haven't talked to anyone about her. Why, what should I have heard?" I looked directly into his eyes when I said this, raising one eyebrow and watching for his tells. And there they were. The shuffling feet, the hands in his pockets, it was like reading a book.
"Nothing. You should have heard nothing."
"Spill. Now."
"What?! Nothing happened. Nothing is different. She's on my staff, well Lou's staff. That's it."
Changing tactics I held my son out to him. "Could you hold him for a second, my hip is totally out joint from standing in heels and holding him for so long." And he fell for it, hook, line and sinker, scooping the baby from my arms and making big eyes at him. Josh was surprisingly good with children - another trait I think he would prefer no one knew about.
And I grabbed his ear.
"OW! Mallory! Let go! I'm holding your son for God's sake!"
"What happened?"
"Let go of my ear first."
I backed off and took my son back. "You fell for the baby-ploy Josh. You're getting soft. Now, spill."
He smiled, a real, genuine smile which I hadn't seen on his face for a while. "I don't really know what happened. It just did. I don't know where it's going or where we are but it's more than it was."
"When?"
"Night before the election." His face fell as he remembered again where we are and why we're dressed in black.
I grin for a second. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Did you tell Dad?"
"No. Election day was so crazy, Donna had to talk me off the ledge more than once, it didn't occur to me until it was too late. I think he would have been happy though. I think he would have wanted to know."
"I think he knew."
"Why? Do you believe in ghosts now, Mal? What happened to the good, Irish-Catholic girl who made me sit through a full Mass at her wedding a few years ago?"
"No, idiot. We were in the hotel restaurant the night before he died, having coffee and dessert. John had the baby. I was in Texas for the election, remember? And I looked up from my coffee and noticed Dad was staring over my shoulder with a big grin on his face. When I asked him what was so great and he snapped back to attention and said something about hoping you hadn't had too many shots. I looked over my shoulder and you were walking towards the elevator, and, now that I think about it, Donna. I'm guessing he was watching your cat-and-mouse routine for a while before that."
A faint blush had creeped across Josh's cheek. But he was smiling. "Well, I'm glad he knew. I think, that's the only thing I regret not getting to tell him. I regret a lot of what he missed and a lot of what he will miss and I'll miss him everyday. But I almost called him on election day to ask him to tell me not to be an idiot. And I was regretting that I hadn't. Thanks Mal. I'm glad he knew."
We hugged again and as I leaned back, one wrist still looped around his neck, I said what I knew Dad would have said if he were still there to give Josh advice. "I'm so happy for you Joshua. Just don't hire her yourself when you get to the Whitehouse, okay?"
Title: Texting
Genre: TWW (J/D)
Rating: G
Spoilers: Set mid-S6 right after Donna leaves
I meant to call her a lot that first week. Everyone was worried about me. I took to hiding from the temp in Toby's office. CJ was the only one who actually asked who I was. I think she was the only one who didn't care how I reacted to the question. When Friday rolled around, and I got home before midnight for the first time all week, I called Sam. It went straight to voice mail which never happened when I called Sam.
"Hey, it's me. I, ah, I just wanted to see what was up in California. Call me back." Hanging up the phone, I looked at the keypad. The 1 mocked me. One touch and I'd get it over with. Seven years of friendship wouldn't be circling the metaphorical drain. We'd get past this. We always did. She'd come back. And I would be okay.
Before I had the chance to plug my phone in and go to the kitchen, it chirped. New Text the screen read. I hit the button and Sam's number appeared. The text read: "It is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condensed, the deeper they burn."
I laughed, and was reminded that Sam was almost as bad as President Bartlett when it came to dropping lines. It was that English Degree he got in college. He never quite shook the poets. I didn't recognize this one but it gave me something to think about. I thought about all through my left over chinese. I thought about it while I pretended to read the memos I'd brought home. Finally, when it was appropriately late for this kind of phone call, I hit speed dial 2 and waited for him to pick up.
"Robert Southy"
"What?"
"The quotation is from Robert Southy."
"Oh."
"Have you figured out why I sent it yet?"
"No."
"Donna got it."
"Well, Donna left the Whitehouse Sam. She's not around to explain it to me anymore."
"Exactly Josh."
"What the Hell is that supposed to mean, Sam?" I was getting pissed.
"If you'd just given her the chance to talk Josh. Instead you blew her off. I'd say Southy had it right, except the most condensed words of all are the ones that are never said but appear in an empty desk and a full coffee cup."
I rubbed my eyes and pressed them, trying to relieve the pressure I felt building behind them. "So I take it she called? Is she okay? Is she going to come back anytime soon?"
"She called from an airport earlier this week. I let her talk. She had a lot of it right. She's already moving on. And no, I'm not telling you where. You'll have to find that out for yourself. Plus, she said something about 'sisterhood' and made me promise and I have a feeling CJ will fly out here and kick my ass if I tell you any more than that."
I stubbornly refused to believe it even though there was a finality in his voice I hadn't heard since he called to tell me he wasn't coming back to Washington. "Whatever. She'll come back."
As I moved the phone from my ear I heard him sigh and mumble, "No, she won't."
Title: Josh's Tells
Genre: TWW (J/D)
Rating: G
Spoilers: Through Requiem
"Hi."
He hugged me and I smiled, breathing in that Josh smell that I've never been able to name. I think it has something to do with the fact that it's woven into my earliest memories. Josh, though he would never admit it, has been the steady figure in my life. Funny, considering I don't think he considers himself that steady of a figure in anyone's life. But he was always there. He was my first babysitter - something that still makes his eye twitch when I remind him of it. He was the one I ran to when Dad came home too drunk to make it up the stairs. He was family. He was the big brother I never had, ten years older than me and a constant presence in my life.
"I'm glad you're here. I don't think I could do it without you."
"Your husband is here isn't he?"
I smile softly and smooth my son's curls. "Yeah, but, I don't know. You and Liz, you guys were the only ones I wanted to see here today." Josh and Liz had never gotten along - Dad called them "fire and ice" though the nicknames were liable to switch depending on the issue or the day or the weather. But, like Josh, Liz was a part of my childhood. I remembered braiding her hair and how jealous I was when Ellie and Zoey came along and usurped my little sister role.
"Yeah. It's like a reunion." He mumbled this and started to smile.
I watched his eyes follow Donna across the room and took the opportunity to change the subject to something happier and much more entertaining for me than walking down memory lane, again. "So, how's Donna?" I smirked and shifted the baby on my hip. His eyes snapped back to mine and he visibly tensed.
"What do you mean? She's fine. Donna's fine. Why do you ask? What have you heard?"
Laughing I patted his arm, "Down boy, I haven't talked to anyone about her. Why, what should I have heard?" I looked directly into his eyes when I said this, raising one eyebrow and watching for his tells. And there they were. The shuffling feet, the hands in his pockets, it was like reading a book.
"Nothing. You should have heard nothing."
"Spill. Now."
"What?! Nothing happened. Nothing is different. She's on my staff, well Lou's staff. That's it."
Changing tactics I held my son out to him. "Could you hold him for a second, my hip is totally out joint from standing in heels and holding him for so long." And he fell for it, hook, line and sinker, scooping the baby from my arms and making big eyes at him. Josh was surprisingly good with children - another trait I think he would prefer no one knew about.
And I grabbed his ear.
"OW! Mallory! Let go! I'm holding your son for God's sake!"
"What happened?"
"Let go of my ear first."
I backed off and took my son back. "You fell for the baby-ploy Josh. You're getting soft. Now, spill."
He smiled, a real, genuine smile which I hadn't seen on his face for a while. "I don't really know what happened. It just did. I don't know where it's going or where we are but it's more than it was."
"When?"
"Night before the election." His face fell as he remembered again where we are and why we're dressed in black.
I grin for a second. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Did you tell Dad?"
"No. Election day was so crazy, Donna had to talk me off the ledge more than once, it didn't occur to me until it was too late. I think he would have been happy though. I think he would have wanted to know."
"I think he knew."
"Why? Do you believe in ghosts now, Mal? What happened to the good, Irish-Catholic girl who made me sit through a full Mass at her wedding a few years ago?"
"No, idiot. We were in the hotel restaurant the night before he died, having coffee and dessert. John had the baby. I was in Texas for the election, remember? And I looked up from my coffee and noticed Dad was staring over my shoulder with a big grin on his face. When I asked him what was so great and he snapped back to attention and said something about hoping you hadn't had too many shots. I looked over my shoulder and you were walking towards the elevator, and, now that I think about it, Donna. I'm guessing he was watching your cat-and-mouse routine for a while before that."
A faint blush had creeped across Josh's cheek. But he was smiling. "Well, I'm glad he knew. I think, that's the only thing I regret not getting to tell him. I regret a lot of what he missed and a lot of what he will miss and I'll miss him everyday. But I almost called him on election day to ask him to tell me not to be an idiot. And I was regretting that I hadn't. Thanks Mal. I'm glad he knew."
We hugged again and as I leaned back, one wrist still looped around his neck, I said what I knew Dad would have said if he were still there to give Josh advice. "I'm so happy for you Joshua. Just don't hire her yourself when you get to the Whitehouse, okay?"
Title: Texting
Genre: TWW (J/D)
Rating: G
Spoilers: Set mid-S6 right after Donna leaves
I meant to call her a lot that first week. Everyone was worried about me. I took to hiding from the temp in Toby's office. CJ was the only one who actually asked who I was. I think she was the only one who didn't care how I reacted to the question. When Friday rolled around, and I got home before midnight for the first time all week, I called Sam. It went straight to voice mail which never happened when I called Sam.
"Hey, it's me. I, ah, I just wanted to see what was up in California. Call me back." Hanging up the phone, I looked at the keypad. The 1 mocked me. One touch and I'd get it over with. Seven years of friendship wouldn't be circling the metaphorical drain. We'd get past this. We always did. She'd come back. And I would be okay.
Before I had the chance to plug my phone in and go to the kitchen, it chirped. New Text the screen read. I hit the button and Sam's number appeared. The text read: "It is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condensed, the deeper they burn."
I laughed, and was reminded that Sam was almost as bad as President Bartlett when it came to dropping lines. It was that English Degree he got in college. He never quite shook the poets. I didn't recognize this one but it gave me something to think about. I thought about all through my left over chinese. I thought about it while I pretended to read the memos I'd brought home. Finally, when it was appropriately late for this kind of phone call, I hit speed dial 2 and waited for him to pick up.
"Robert Southy"
"What?"
"The quotation is from Robert Southy."
"Oh."
"Have you figured out why I sent it yet?"
"No."
"Donna got it."
"Well, Donna left the Whitehouse Sam. She's not around to explain it to me anymore."
"Exactly Josh."
"What the Hell is that supposed to mean, Sam?" I was getting pissed.
"If you'd just given her the chance to talk Josh. Instead you blew her off. I'd say Southy had it right, except the most condensed words of all are the ones that are never said but appear in an empty desk and a full coffee cup."
I rubbed my eyes and pressed them, trying to relieve the pressure I felt building behind them. "So I take it she called? Is she okay? Is she going to come back anytime soon?"
"She called from an airport earlier this week. I let her talk. She had a lot of it right. She's already moving on. And no, I'm not telling you where. You'll have to find that out for yourself. Plus, she said something about 'sisterhood' and made me promise and I have a feeling CJ will fly out here and kick my ass if I tell you any more than that."
I stubbornly refused to believe it even though there was a finality in his voice I hadn't heard since he called to tell me he wasn't coming back to Washington. "Whatever. She'll come back."
As I moved the phone from my ear I heard him sigh and mumble, "No, she won't."