(no subject)

Jun 04, 2005 12:45

Being a parent must be hard. To watch lifes you helped create, that once could fit in your hands, grow into a person must be an amazingly wonderful and saddening exprience. I always feel for my parents cause i'm their only one - i'm both their test run and final project. theyre very complicated etc. but theyre good people. We fight and kick and scream etc as most child-parent relationships go, we say hurtful things and go on and on about things. I exprienmce from them great frustrations that i'm sure other kids dont have to deal with but i exprience far better things that unfortunatly too many kids dont have. I just had a big fight w/them again about me wanting to go somewhere and its the same thing everytime i get upset they get upset everyones upset and yelling and screaming lalala. But i understand where they come from and i'm sure they understand me, but its obvious that we each dont like it and thats the way it goes sometimes.

I know they worry about my safety and etc and they take it to extremes but i guess in the big picture its a good thing. my dad told me today that the other day on his way home from his work he saw a car accident that invovled kids my age and hes said they were hurt bad and all he could think of is me. I guess thats what its like to be a parent. The you doesnt even matter anymore its all about them and i think as kids whove not yet exprienced that feeling dont appreciate it cause we dont understand it and be we're so cool we dont need/want that attention.

All i keep thinking about these past few days is mrs. olesky. A mother whos whole world has been torn apart. i knew her son mike from high school, but after that never really talked to him and frankly had forgotten him as time went by until he did what he did. And I never knew diane, i'd like to think that maybe i had made eye contact with her once in the halls back in the day, but from the sounds of it she seemed like she was a bright and beautiful young lady w/a promising future. I keep thinking about her mother whos lost all the dearest things to her in this world - her husband and now the 2 children they had together.

It must be hard to be a parent, youre whole life becomes about one thing youre kids. everything you do revovles around your kids, you do everything you can do to make the world a better place for them, you sacrifice everything you ever wanted for them so they can have what they want. If youre any good at it. Some parents dont do that and they suck. To me being a parent is being selfless, but then again to me being a human being is selfless. Because you cant be too selfish when you have the responsbility of a life the you have to help mold.

Being a parent must be hard. But like life itself thats very hard. its a gift from god. the wisdom that we get from life even when bad thins happen is a wisdom that we can share with god and the people around us. So dont give up on life or god mrs. olesky. I love you.
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