exactly
Recently, I came across something that blew me away because of the amazing parallel to the mindset I've held for about five years now. This is what I think about. It is these thoughts that overshadow my decisions and plans:
All I know is I'm losing my mind. I'm sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else's. I'm sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It's disgusting - it is, it is. I don't care what anybody says.
I'm afraid I will compete - that's what scares me. That's why I quit the Theatre Department. Just because I'm so horribly conditioned to accept everybody else's values, and just because I like applause and people to rave about me, doesn't make it right. I'm ashamed of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. I'm sick of myself and everybody else that wants to make some kind of a splash.
-From J. D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey