been good, you know
Pretend to already be something you're on your way to becoming.
enjoi
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I'd love to see you risk making brilliant
mistakes in the coming weeks, Aries. I hope you'll plunge into imaginative
adventures without worrying about whether they'll have practical
benefits. I look forward to cheering you on as you explore forbidden
zones, dabble with unfamiliar pleasures, and try intriguing experiments
that make you tingle all over. Now here's a tip, courtesy of Mark Twain,
which should help you take maximum advantage of the mischievous
opportunities ahead: "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in
authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Italian poet Dante Alighieri finished his
masterpiece, *The Divine Comedy,* before he died. But when his sons,
Jacopo and Pietro, assembled the manuscript for publication, they
realized that parts of it were missing. They searched the house for days,
to no avail. Only after they had given up hope did help arrive. The spirit of
Dante appeared in Jacopo's dream and showed his son a hiding place in
his old bedroom wall. Upon awakening, Jacopo went to the spot his father
had pointed out and found the lost papers. I offer this story as a gift to
you, Taurus. I believe that sometime in the next three weeks, you will
have a comparable experience. What form might it take? Maybe the dead
will assist you in locating a valuable. One of your dreams could provide a
missing clue that will solve a mystery. It's conceivable you'll receive a
legacy from a departed loved one. And maybe all of these possibilities will
come to pass.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Last January, an Indiana man named Randy
Fletcher came home from work early and found his wife in bed with
another man. In March, after working for years to restore his 1956 Chevy
to mint condition, he wrecked it on a country road when he swerved to
avoid hitting a deer. The capper came in May, when his beloved dog fell ill
and had to be euthanized. But on July 17, two days after his divorce was
final, his luck changed: Fletcher won $1 million in the state lottery. Your
recent hardships haven't been anywhere near as harsh as his, Gemini, nor
will your imminent reward be as monumental. But I do expect that you will
soon be compensated handsomely for your trouble.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A poultry expert has come up with a
revolutionary use for the feathers that are left over when chickens are
slaughtered. David Emery has built a machine to turn the damp, dirty
refuse into a strong, light fiber that's suitable for making auto parts and
medical instruments. I believe you will possess a similar capacity for
ingenious transformation in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Though your
work may not always be fun or easy, you will be an alchemical wizard with
the power to metamorphose muck and dregs into useful stuff.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "The pace of change is accelerating," says futurist
Ray Kurzweil. "We're doubling the paradigm shift rate, the rate of
progress, every decade." I agree with Kurzweil. By my estimate, half of
what you know today will be obsolete in five years. Isn't that exciting?
What could be more pleasurable than continually molting your old
perspectives and growing fresh ways to see the world? That's the good
news, Leo. Now here's the great news: The coming months will be an ideal
time to formulate and jumpstart an aggressive five-year plan to keep your
education continually up to date.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "To the mind that is still," said the ancient
Chinese sage Lao Tzu, "the whole universe surrenders." This is true all the
time, of course, but in the coming weeks it will be even more intensely
true for you. According to traditional astrologers, that would be a
problem. They believe that advising Virgos to keep their minds still is like
ordering Niagara Falls to stop splashing 600,000 gallons of water per
second over its precipice. But here's my nontraditional perspective: It
may be harder for you Virgos to quiet your mind, but if and when you
actually accomplish it, the universe surrenders more completely to you
than to any other sign. (P.S. On March 29, 1848, an ice jam stopped the
flow of water over Niagara Falls for several hours.)
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Hydrogen is an explosive, highly inflammable
gas. Oxygen is an essential ingredient in sustaining any blaze. But when
the two are mixed together in the right proportion, they form water,
which is the opposite of fire. You should regard this as an apt metaphor
for the opportunity you will have in the coming weeks, Libra. To get
started in taking advantage of this promise, meditate on this question:
What two fiery elements can you combine to bring a soothing, moistening
influence into your life?
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Materialism is our culture's dominant
ideology. It's the specious doctrine that physical matter is the only reality
and that nothing can be said to exist unless it's perceivable by our five
senses or detected by instruments we've created. Paradoxically, the
proponents of materialism warn us to be skeptical about all phenomena
that they don't recognize as real, even as they fanatically avoid
skepticism about their own fundamentalist assumptions! I urge you to
undertake an inquiry into the ways your outlook on the world has been
hemmed in by this crippling superstition, Scorpio. Begin immediately. In
2005, you'll be offered abundant help from spiritual sources. If you're
overly influenced by materialism, you'll have trouble recognizing and
accessing those riches.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to my reading of the
astrological omens, you have recently fulfilled the first part of the Dalai
Lama's theory that "not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful
stroke of luck." It may take a few weeks for the second part--the
"wonderful stroke of luck" part--to fully take effect. But I bet you'll get a
glimpse of its early stages in the coming week. Don't spend even ten
seconds lost in regret about not getting what you want. Start uncorking
your gratitude immediately.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): *Guitar World* magazine says that Poison
guitarist C.C. DeVille played the worst guitar solo of all time. *Forbes* put
the Chevy Vega on its list of the worst cars ever made. Poet Bob Holman
selected William Topaz McGonagall as the worst poet in history.
Salon.com decided that a humorous passage in my memoir, *The
Televisionary Oracle,* deserved second place in its Bill O'Reilly Bad Sex
Writing Contest. With these examples as your inspiration, Capricorn, I
invite you to figure out what thing you're not so good at--maybe even so
bad that you're the worst ever. Why? Because you're entering the Season
of Humility, that's why. You should celebrate all the flaws and failures that
prevent you from turning into an arrogant know-it-all. Besides, if you have
fun mocking your own shortcomings, you might convince fate to kick
your ass very gently during the imminent karmic adjustment.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I don't know if you're interested--lots of
seemingly more practical matters are soaking up your attention right
now--but it's my duty to inform you that you can make more progress
towards spiritual enlightenment in the next three weeks than you've made
in the previous ten months. Alert, relaxed listening should be the radical
act at the heart of your drive towards illumination. Ferocious curiosity
should be your normal state of awareness. "Thou shalt be aggressively
receptive" should be your main commandment.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you're average, you have more than 1,400
dreams a year. But there have been few weeks in 2004 when you've had
as many vivid, memorable, and useful dreams as you're likely to enjoy in
the coming days. Pay close attention, Pisces! No other sources--not
psychics, psychotherapists, good books, or wise teachers--can provide
you with as much useful information as your dreams will. They will be
intimate, artful, playful communiqués from your soul, designed to give
you answers to critical questions that you are just beginning to formulate.
enjoi
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I'd love to see you risk making brilliant
mistakes in the coming weeks, Aries. I hope you'll plunge into imaginative
adventures without worrying about whether they'll have practical
benefits. I look forward to cheering you on as you explore forbidden
zones, dabble with unfamiliar pleasures, and try intriguing experiments
that make you tingle all over. Now here's a tip, courtesy of Mark Twain,
which should help you take maximum advantage of the mischievous
opportunities ahead: "Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in
authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Italian poet Dante Alighieri finished his
masterpiece, *The Divine Comedy,* before he died. But when his sons,
Jacopo and Pietro, assembled the manuscript for publication, they
realized that parts of it were missing. They searched the house for days,
to no avail. Only after they had given up hope did help arrive. The spirit of
Dante appeared in Jacopo's dream and showed his son a hiding place in
his old bedroom wall. Upon awakening, Jacopo went to the spot his father
had pointed out and found the lost papers. I offer this story as a gift to
you, Taurus. I believe that sometime in the next three weeks, you will
have a comparable experience. What form might it take? Maybe the dead
will assist you in locating a valuable. One of your dreams could provide a
missing clue that will solve a mystery. It's conceivable you'll receive a
legacy from a departed loved one. And maybe all of these possibilities will
come to pass.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Last January, an Indiana man named Randy
Fletcher came home from work early and found his wife in bed with
another man. In March, after working for years to restore his 1956 Chevy
to mint condition, he wrecked it on a country road when he swerved to
avoid hitting a deer. The capper came in May, when his beloved dog fell ill
and had to be euthanized. But on July 17, two days after his divorce was
final, his luck changed: Fletcher won $1 million in the state lottery. Your
recent hardships haven't been anywhere near as harsh as his, Gemini, nor
will your imminent reward be as monumental. But I do expect that you will
soon be compensated handsomely for your trouble.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A poultry expert has come up with a
revolutionary use for the feathers that are left over when chickens are
slaughtered. David Emery has built a machine to turn the damp, dirty
refuse into a strong, light fiber that's suitable for making auto parts and
medical instruments. I believe you will possess a similar capacity for
ingenious transformation in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Though your
work may not always be fun or easy, you will be an alchemical wizard with
the power to metamorphose muck and dregs into useful stuff.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "The pace of change is accelerating," says futurist
Ray Kurzweil. "We're doubling the paradigm shift rate, the rate of
progress, every decade." I agree with Kurzweil. By my estimate, half of
what you know today will be obsolete in five years. Isn't that exciting?
What could be more pleasurable than continually molting your old
perspectives and growing fresh ways to see the world? That's the good
news, Leo. Now here's the great news: The coming months will be an ideal
time to formulate and jumpstart an aggressive five-year plan to keep your
education continually up to date.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "To the mind that is still," said the ancient
Chinese sage Lao Tzu, "the whole universe surrenders." This is true all the
time, of course, but in the coming weeks it will be even more intensely
true for you. According to traditional astrologers, that would be a
problem. They believe that advising Virgos to keep their minds still is like
ordering Niagara Falls to stop splashing 600,000 gallons of water per
second over its precipice. But here's my nontraditional perspective: It
may be harder for you Virgos to quiet your mind, but if and when you
actually accomplish it, the universe surrenders more completely to you
than to any other sign. (P.S. On March 29, 1848, an ice jam stopped the
flow of water over Niagara Falls for several hours.)
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Hydrogen is an explosive, highly inflammable
gas. Oxygen is an essential ingredient in sustaining any blaze. But when
the two are mixed together in the right proportion, they form water,
which is the opposite of fire. You should regard this as an apt metaphor
for the opportunity you will have in the coming weeks, Libra. To get
started in taking advantage of this promise, meditate on this question:
What two fiery elements can you combine to bring a soothing, moistening
influence into your life?
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Materialism is our culture's dominant
ideology. It's the specious doctrine that physical matter is the only reality
and that nothing can be said to exist unless it's perceivable by our five
senses or detected by instruments we've created. Paradoxically, the
proponents of materialism warn us to be skeptical about all phenomena
that they don't recognize as real, even as they fanatically avoid
skepticism about their own fundamentalist assumptions! I urge you to
undertake an inquiry into the ways your outlook on the world has been
hemmed in by this crippling superstition, Scorpio. Begin immediately. In
2005, you'll be offered abundant help from spiritual sources. If you're
overly influenced by materialism, you'll have trouble recognizing and
accessing those riches.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to my reading of the
astrological omens, you have recently fulfilled the first part of the Dalai
Lama's theory that "not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful
stroke of luck." It may take a few weeks for the second part--the
"wonderful stroke of luck" part--to fully take effect. But I bet you'll get a
glimpse of its early stages in the coming week. Don't spend even ten
seconds lost in regret about not getting what you want. Start uncorking
your gratitude immediately.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): *Guitar World* magazine says that Poison
guitarist C.C. DeVille played the worst guitar solo of all time. *Forbes* put
the Chevy Vega on its list of the worst cars ever made. Poet Bob Holman
selected William Topaz McGonagall as the worst poet in history.
Salon.com decided that a humorous passage in my memoir, *The
Televisionary Oracle,* deserved second place in its Bill O'Reilly Bad Sex
Writing Contest. With these examples as your inspiration, Capricorn, I
invite you to figure out what thing you're not so good at--maybe even so
bad that you're the worst ever. Why? Because you're entering the Season
of Humility, that's why. You should celebrate all the flaws and failures that
prevent you from turning into an arrogant know-it-all. Besides, if you have
fun mocking your own shortcomings, you might convince fate to kick
your ass very gently during the imminent karmic adjustment.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I don't know if you're interested--lots of
seemingly more practical matters are soaking up your attention right
now--but it's my duty to inform you that you can make more progress
towards spiritual enlightenment in the next three weeks than you've made
in the previous ten months. Alert, relaxed listening should be the radical
act at the heart of your drive towards illumination. Ferocious curiosity
should be your normal state of awareness. "Thou shalt be aggressively
receptive" should be your main commandment.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you're average, you have more than 1,400
dreams a year. But there have been few weeks in 2004 when you've had
as many vivid, memorable, and useful dreams as you're likely to enjoy in
the coming days. Pay close attention, Pisces! No other sources--not
psychics, psychotherapists, good books, or wise teachers--can provide
you with as much useful information as your dreams will. They will be
intimate, artful, playful communiqués from your soul, designed to give
you answers to critical questions that you are just beginning to formulate.