exhausted
going home this weekend to visit mom who isn't doing that great. have such mixed emotions about it: how can someone so ill and so close to me still make me so angry even in a situation like this? and what kind of horrible self centered overly sensitive person gets so angry at a time like this? aaargh.
i was looking forward to a very relaxing weekend. actually hang out with b, maybe relax around crystal... i was going to have a clean house and just play with the chinchillas and drink beers. no such luck. now i'm so stressed, i have so much to do before i leave and it's already 11:17pm. my neck hurts and i'm pre-emptively tired just thinking about all this travel. and i wouldn't mind any of this if i thought my presence would actually be appreciated, like i was there to be nice instead of so more important people can go about their business.
i think i'm just at my limit. seriously. i'm acting irrational and there's nothing i can do about it because i've put a lot of effort into being calm and nice and quiet for a long, long time.
i wish somebody would just come pack for me. or keep me company while i clean. or give me drugs or another bottle of sherry.
and now it's 11:23pm.
i was looking forward to a very relaxing weekend. actually hang out with b, maybe relax around crystal... i was going to have a clean house and just play with the chinchillas and drink beers. no such luck. now i'm so stressed, i have so much to do before i leave and it's already 11:17pm. my neck hurts and i'm pre-emptively tired just thinking about all this travel. and i wouldn't mind any of this if i thought my presence would actually be appreciated, like i was there to be nice instead of so more important people can go about their business.
i think i'm just at my limit. seriously. i'm acting irrational and there's nothing i can do about it because i've put a lot of effort into being calm and nice and quiet for a long, long time.
i wish somebody would just come pack for me. or keep me company while i clean. or give me drugs or another bottle of sherry.
and now it's 11:23pm.