Redemption
I have returned from my long journey down the road to nowhere. I have reached the gates of hell, and rejected my own self fulfilling prophecy. I now swim up stream, although the current seems inexorable. Steps backward are unavoidable. Acceptance is my strength, the burning flames within my heart are my direction. Obstacles reared up out of the torrents of foam are quickly surpassed and now fallen foes.
When I faced the gates of hell I found myself staring into a great mirror. I could see my past and present devolving into my future. My own reflection was transparent, wavering, as though my own life was hanging on the edge of oblivion. My mistakes conspired to confound me, and I found myself passing through the mirror, becoming the haggard reflection I saw in that glass.
That's when I heard that voice from nowhere that my time and energy were occupied ignoring. Desperately grasping for any reality except this one I surrendered to this strangled cry, and found within it an incredible strength I had forgotten. My spirit soared to the sky as I heard my own clear voice. A roar ripped out of my soul, shattering the looking glass before my eyes, turning spinning shards of flames into bright spikes of pain filled shame. I knew at that moment that there is no prophecy that is self fulfilled except the one you fulfill willing.
The flames of hell before became insignificant before the flames of fire within me. I burned more brightly still. I turned and wrenched myself free of the self imposed tyranny. My soul looked behind and detected the road long abandoned with passion enhanced vision. My mind's eye opened to see the sky itself posing no limitation. Blue eyes looked down at me from the sky, and smiled, laughing heartily. Tears from heaven leaked onto me, as I took her strength into me, and let her help me to be me, to be free.
I see so clearly now through waters once thought murky. The trick is to look with open eyes, unafraid of what they might find.
I am back on life's journey after such a long time spent living in the shadows. I've been through an awful lot since the last time I posted here, too much to ever hope to convey in one entry. Life has had me so far down that I had completely forgotten how to look at the up side. I stopped asking myself questions, and looking for answers. The curiosity for life had turned and fled. Instead of finding the answers to all of my important questions in life, I chose instead to stop trying. To give up. Well, I may have rolled over, but I did not die. If just barely.
Once again I find myself seeking answers to questions like what do I want to do with my life? How do I want to live it? What is happiness, for me? How can I attain it? Who do I want to be close to, and what is it about these people that attracts me? What knowledge is there out there just waiting for me to come across it that will help me on my great journey?
Everyone lives their own story, and I've assured mine to be filled with euphoric up, and bitter downs. Plot twist will abound in every chapter of my early twenties. What I now know is that it will be a feel good story of success. Despite all that I've been through, I've found my voice. Somewhere upon that road to nowhere, my true self actualized. My soul is immaterial; this means nothing and no one can take it away from me but myself.
When I faced the gates of hell I found myself staring into a great mirror. I could see my past and present devolving into my future. My own reflection was transparent, wavering, as though my own life was hanging on the edge of oblivion. My mistakes conspired to confound me, and I found myself passing through the mirror, becoming the haggard reflection I saw in that glass.
That's when I heard that voice from nowhere that my time and energy were occupied ignoring. Desperately grasping for any reality except this one I surrendered to this strangled cry, and found within it an incredible strength I had forgotten. My spirit soared to the sky as I heard my own clear voice. A roar ripped out of my soul, shattering the looking glass before my eyes, turning spinning shards of flames into bright spikes of pain filled shame. I knew at that moment that there is no prophecy that is self fulfilled except the one you fulfill willing.
The flames of hell before became insignificant before the flames of fire within me. I burned more brightly still. I turned and wrenched myself free of the self imposed tyranny. My soul looked behind and detected the road long abandoned with passion enhanced vision. My mind's eye opened to see the sky itself posing no limitation. Blue eyes looked down at me from the sky, and smiled, laughing heartily. Tears from heaven leaked onto me, as I took her strength into me, and let her help me to be me, to be free.
I see so clearly now through waters once thought murky. The trick is to look with open eyes, unafraid of what they might find.
I am back on life's journey after such a long time spent living in the shadows. I've been through an awful lot since the last time I posted here, too much to ever hope to convey in one entry. Life has had me so far down that I had completely forgotten how to look at the up side. I stopped asking myself questions, and looking for answers. The curiosity for life had turned and fled. Instead of finding the answers to all of my important questions in life, I chose instead to stop trying. To give up. Well, I may have rolled over, but I did not die. If just barely.
Once again I find myself seeking answers to questions like what do I want to do with my life? How do I want to live it? What is happiness, for me? How can I attain it? Who do I want to be close to, and what is it about these people that attracts me? What knowledge is there out there just waiting for me to come across it that will help me on my great journey?
Everyone lives their own story, and I've assured mine to be filled with euphoric up, and bitter downs. Plot twist will abound in every chapter of my early twenties. What I now know is that it will be a feel good story of success. Despite all that I've been through, I've found my voice. Somewhere upon that road to nowhere, my true self actualized. My soul is immaterial; this means nothing and no one can take it away from me but myself.