this is weird, but so are you, so just read it.
dreams from the past come back to haunt, old issues left for dead, long thought dead, but no, i am sinking, well, maybe not. i am aging, maturing, the overconfidences of the past inevitably intertwine with the unforseeable future. once thought life was well at hand, once, thoughts had their own hands, tools to keep themselves separate from a rapidly approaching reality, to push away dangers during times of fear, to console during times of tremendous truths. no, i could not see the future, no, not with any measure of my past mind, not with any amount of days drifting by. no one can cancel out their hopes and dreams, no, they lie dormant deep within, in a safe structure of my own design, a place where this new me can see, can hear, can feel, but cannot do, and no, i cannot undo the decisions that have made me unrecognizable to me as me. but i can still see. i can still hear. i CAN do, but no, god help me no, i cannot undo. but what i can do i do not necessarily do, thus perpetuating the spinning cycle of things left undone. undone? seen now out of the corner of both my eyes, in sight, but out of focus, a line of sight i have yet to learn how to properly see, call it if you will an epifany. yes, yes now i see it clearly as i see you, as clearly as me sees me. but why didn't she? could she see that i could not be me? blasphemy, i could see me, but me could not see i, or rather would not, he was too busy laying in the corner covering his eyes, so horrified at what he did see in his few brief glances that he had decided it was in his best interest to never see again. he tried to gouge out his eyes, but to do that he would have needed to take his hands away, in the end, he found me unwilling to free he from what we both see. but now we both see, me is he and he is me, we need to see, to be as the one that we once were, i. i can now see that the path to being me is doing what sets me free of the need to undo, being me, as one, united, unshakably solid, unbreakable down to the foundations of me. i am i, and me is me.