tick tock tick tock
Not feeling incredibly great today and have negleted my journal which has been regretful asi really did want a full history to look over and not have to many gaps.Weeks been ok and uneventful,went to Leeds again on Sunday for the courtyard party and Federation and had a great time,took david along and he met my good friends Alan and Tom we also met some more people while out and a good time was had by all.Monday we returned and i stayed over at Davids until wednesday as i was helping him with his university work as i felt quite quilty had dragged him to Leeds and put him behind in his work.We ventured to Poptastic on tuesday and got drunken as usual i left on Wednesday afternoon and headed home,i got confronted by Daniel on arriving home claiming i was out of order for leaving him for days,he apologised later and we drew a line under it and he was finding the whole process hard no longer being in his long term relationship and had attached himself to me emotionally as i had been the only person to really stand by him taking him in.
Other then this i have been feeling low again and keep feeling like i am losing it,paranoier is paramount at the minute i feel like things are being said behind my back due to little things that have been said to me and also how people have been behaving with me.I feel like everythings on shakey ground and i really shouldn't care anymore as i should concentrait on getting better mentally and moving towards making myself a better future but i can't stop worrying about people and what they think,i know i am a nice person and do a lot for others but something tells me this goes unoticed and maybe i am not seen how i see myself.
Other then this i have been feeling low again and keep feeling like i am losing it,paranoier is paramount at the minute i feel like things are being said behind my back due to little things that have been said to me and also how people have been behaving with me.I feel like everythings on shakey ground and i really shouldn't care anymore as i should concentrait on getting better mentally and moving towards making myself a better future but i can't stop worrying about people and what they think,i know i am a nice person and do a lot for others but something tells me this goes unoticed and maybe i am not seen how i see myself.