Time's stalking me like a predator
I'm really fed up about my birthday already,Steven can't make thursday cause hes at a meeting but coming to Leeds,Sarah i told to late,George is in his own world and a couple o others are off on a weekend break to london and Ewa is on a staff do and Pauls working late.Me and Steven and Kevin went essential last night and i was very very drunk,i ended up talking to some random about the countryside and we just talked and talked,the club was really hot and i ended up taking my top off to deal with the heat which i am embarrassed about today i ended up meeting someone on the train home who i know and invited him and his friends back so not my finest hour.This morning i had some more therapy which was good but a hangover does not make u wanna talk much so i asked questions and listened intently to some mind skills and excercises but left after half an hour as i had very little sleep and work to get on with.Spent majority of afternoon talking to David about various things and hes been great at taking my mind off things today,hes been programming his led belt and buying more Vivienne Westwood, and i have been given the nickname Vivienne Westwood by some of his work chums as hes been wearing eyeliner and viv tops and they are saying i have converted him,I am pleased hes taking an active interest in looking his best and Viv is a great investment in yourself i believe.I am not very happy though that a bloke is giving him the run around.
Me and Dan have fallen out due to the fact hes gone weird on me and i have decided some space will rectify any damage friday night did,just going put it down to both of us being emotional and being with each other at the wrong time.On a positive note i am feeling much stronger mentally and got some fire in my belly back.What i am not happy about is thinking about certain people now to how i thought about them two weeks back and i am seeing them in different light.Some people i have looked at this last few days and thought of them as rather pathetic,this i am not happy about as i don't like thinking bad of anyone nor do i believe i have any superiority over any other human being.This evening i went for a walk and popped into emmas for a chat and a brew,on route back i popped into the pub to say hello to whoever was in there and ended up sat with chef having a chat about pets while he made me a lovely steak for my dinner,i like the fact i walk in there and get instant hellos and often sit in the back with the staff and spend time in the kitchen chatting with chef about alsorts with all the lovely food smells and he makes a mean steak.I will miss the pub when i leave as its been part of my life for so long but when i have moved before i have stayed in contact with the majority,i feel a great sense of loyalty and affection for me from them and i have recently only realised this.
I may well go to bed now and relax with a good read and my own thoughts,i have had good thoughts today so i like to think alot when they are good thoughts.
Me and Dan have fallen out due to the fact hes gone weird on me and i have decided some space will rectify any damage friday night did,just going put it down to both of us being emotional and being with each other at the wrong time.On a positive note i am feeling much stronger mentally and got some fire in my belly back.What i am not happy about is thinking about certain people now to how i thought about them two weeks back and i am seeing them in different light.Some people i have looked at this last few days and thought of them as rather pathetic,this i am not happy about as i don't like thinking bad of anyone nor do i believe i have any superiority over any other human being.This evening i went for a walk and popped into emmas for a chat and a brew,on route back i popped into the pub to say hello to whoever was in there and ended up sat with chef having a chat about pets while he made me a lovely steak for my dinner,i like the fact i walk in there and get instant hellos and often sit in the back with the staff and spend time in the kitchen chatting with chef about alsorts with all the lovely food smells and he makes a mean steak.I will miss the pub when i leave as its been part of my life for so long but when i have moved before i have stayed in contact with the majority,i feel a great sense of loyalty and affection for me from them and i have recently only realised this.
I may well go to bed now and relax with a good read and my own thoughts,i have had good thoughts today so i like to think alot when they are good thoughts.