socialite?
s'pose?
there've been quite a few gatherings of late, especially with the department interviewing people for jobs.
and i've gone to some, not all, but some.
they're all the same, for the most part:
same people, same (free) beer, same (free) food.
none of those are necessarily bad things.
but i'm starting to feel the monotony already here.
the days run together and the nights all end with me accidentally falling asleep (often while laying on my bed), waking up at 3:30 confused, getting ready for bed, then actually going to sleep and waking up around 6:30.
this earlier in the morning thing is starting to take hold.
somewhat.
it's a work in progress for sure.
i'm certainly looking forward to taking that trip to urbana in november.
only about a month away...
that'll be something different and nice.
it's not that i'm not enjoy m'self here.
i am.
i just have been in somewhat of a funk.
i do it to myself every once in a while.
i think i need to meet people.
but i'm really not good at that at all.
i'm sure there are cool people here, somewhere.
but i don't know where, nor do i have ins with anyone.
and that's also not to say that i haven't met cool people, but it's just been a few.
and by cool i mean the type of cool that i would want to hang out with often.
that's all i need.
discussion about music or something, might be nice, too.
ok, enough self loathing.
i've started to work on grad school applications, since they are, well, due in december (for the most part).
we'll see how this goes.
i've gotta cut at least one more school off of my list, since it's 5 long and i want to apply to a max of 4.
there's still plenty of work to be done on this front, and it will likely be consuming a good chunk of my free time over the next two months.
in some degree or another.
ya know, the whole plan of taking a year off was to be able to relax and have free time and shit.
and, while i do have some, it's not enough.
maybe once i'm done with this fellowship app and these grad school apps, i can do more fun things.
maybe then i'll meet people.
when i have a life outside of doing things for next year.
that's when i'll compose a symphony and write the next great american classic novel.
or at least another short story.
something cohesive.
i have a problem with elaborating on ideas.
in my writing.
i just blurt something onto paper, tease with it, then end it.
never to return or develop.
[weakness]
my knee still hurts from yesterday.
nothing happened to make it hurt.
but after soccer it just tightened up on me, and it's still pretty stiff.
and i don't like it one bit.
it should get better so i can go run tomorrow.
that's a good activity: running.
i don't know where i'm going with this post any more.
it's been much more downtrodden than i feel in general right now.
perhaps all the mundane and crap that're just hanging out get concentrated in this medium.
or maybe i'm just lying to myself.
in any case, i don't like it, and should probaby end it.
except not until saying a big 'fuck yeah' for the bears moving to 5-0.
fuck yeah.
ok that's enough outta me.
im gonna go read some leopold.
i like him.
he's good.
there've been quite a few gatherings of late, especially with the department interviewing people for jobs.
and i've gone to some, not all, but some.
they're all the same, for the most part:
same people, same (free) beer, same (free) food.
none of those are necessarily bad things.
but i'm starting to feel the monotony already here.
the days run together and the nights all end with me accidentally falling asleep (often while laying on my bed), waking up at 3:30 confused, getting ready for bed, then actually going to sleep and waking up around 6:30.
this earlier in the morning thing is starting to take hold.
somewhat.
it's a work in progress for sure.
i'm certainly looking forward to taking that trip to urbana in november.
only about a month away...
that'll be something different and nice.
it's not that i'm not enjoy m'self here.
i am.
i just have been in somewhat of a funk.
i do it to myself every once in a while.
i think i need to meet people.
but i'm really not good at that at all.
i'm sure there are cool people here, somewhere.
but i don't know where, nor do i have ins with anyone.
and that's also not to say that i haven't met cool people, but it's just been a few.
and by cool i mean the type of cool that i would want to hang out with often.
that's all i need.
discussion about music or something, might be nice, too.
ok, enough self loathing.
i've started to work on grad school applications, since they are, well, due in december (for the most part).
we'll see how this goes.
i've gotta cut at least one more school off of my list, since it's 5 long and i want to apply to a max of 4.
there's still plenty of work to be done on this front, and it will likely be consuming a good chunk of my free time over the next two months.
in some degree or another.
ya know, the whole plan of taking a year off was to be able to relax and have free time and shit.
and, while i do have some, it's not enough.
maybe once i'm done with this fellowship app and these grad school apps, i can do more fun things.
maybe then i'll meet people.
when i have a life outside of doing things for next year.
that's when i'll compose a symphony and write the next great american classic novel.
or at least another short story.
something cohesive.
i have a problem with elaborating on ideas.
in my writing.
i just blurt something onto paper, tease with it, then end it.
never to return or develop.
[weakness]
my knee still hurts from yesterday.
nothing happened to make it hurt.
but after soccer it just tightened up on me, and it's still pretty stiff.
and i don't like it one bit.
it should get better so i can go run tomorrow.
that's a good activity: running.
i don't know where i'm going with this post any more.
it's been much more downtrodden than i feel in general right now.
perhaps all the mundane and crap that're just hanging out get concentrated in this medium.
or maybe i'm just lying to myself.
in any case, i don't like it, and should probaby end it.
except not until saying a big 'fuck yeah' for the bears moving to 5-0.
fuck yeah.
ok that's enough outta me.
im gonna go read some leopold.
i like him.
he's good.