I appreciate that comment. Quite often I find myself in sort of a mist of complex thought about myself. Not to seem selfish as I seem to only think about myself and my state of mind during these LJ sesions. But I do really feel that comment that it seems that everyone is looking for what and who they really are or where they are going in there lives.
I ... suppose that I would be the same person that I am arround any different style or type of individual or group. Perhaps I am just trying to find out whethere or note I would be a different person if I had a different past to develop from.
I watch people and there personalities and see through those personalities to find where they came from and why they developed the way that they did. I see the way people treat others based on their pesonality and upbringing and the reactions of those people in the same right.
Perhaps I am just looking for certain qualities that I see in others that I don't find in myself. Qualities that I respect and admire. In a non-monetary sense.
Some of the people are musisions, some are poets, and artists. Some writers and college graduates, bartenders or enthusiasts for some something. They all have their hobbies and interests that they persue. These describe who and what they are and appreciate. I find that the only thing that I'm good at or persue or keep as a hobbie is being social, trying to be in the center of everything and everybody.
This leaves me kind of empty. The fact that I am around so many people that have so much passion. If you find me without anyone else I am just there. No idea what to do no one to affect or inspire to persue their likes or hobbies.
When I am alone I am alone. I guess that I have a hard time amusing myself or finding interest with myself.
I guess that I fear being nothing without the people around me. This leads me to the further thought that I wish I were the leader that I pose to be. An idividual that people would find some interest in or would be inspired by my actions.
I do not believe that I have made any actions that others may look up to or find...laudable.
I am a (fairly humurous Red Dwarf quote that I can't remember) "barely literate space bum"
A character on the screen to amuse and interest others. The only thing that I have to offer produces only a reaction in the others around me. If alone, I have no audience.
I will leave you with that. I need to drink my drink. Untill the next time...
Honestly I find your comment a bit sad. In a way it breaks my heart.
Ever since I was but a young teenager *haha with a big crush* I have always looked up to you. You may not know it but you have taught me good little lessons in life which I still keep dear to my decision making today.
I have never looked down upon you, always looked up. You to me, have always been wise and someone I could always go to for advice. In some ways I have always wanted to be like you. Carefree, always having fun, center of attention, advice giver, etc.
I do not believe that you are a selfish person, your LJ is yours, you say what you feel, and even if I misunderstood anything it doesn't matter. Only you know what the hell you're meaning to say. I just hope and was letting you know that I don't look at you the way you seem to feel.
Well, that is true in a sense,but your missing the big part of Joe that I know and love. The part that in a moments notice would drop everything just to lend an ear or a shoulder to a distrout girl who has in the past needed that more then anything.
I ... suppose that I would be the same person that I am arround any different style or type of individual or group. Perhaps I am just trying to find out whethere or note I would be a different person if I had a different past to develop from.
I watch people and there personalities and see through those personalities to find where they came from and why they developed the way that they did. I see the way people treat others based on their pesonality and upbringing and the reactions of those people in the same right.
Perhaps I am just looking for certain qualities that I see in others that I don't find in myself. Qualities that I respect and admire. In a non-monetary sense.
Some of the people are musisions, some are poets, and artists. Some writers and college graduates, bartenders or enthusiasts for some something. They all have their hobbies and interests that they persue. These describe who and what they are and appreciate. I find that the only thing that I'm good at or persue or keep as a hobbie is being social, trying to be in the center of everything and everybody.
This leaves me kind of empty. The fact that I am around so many people that have so much passion. If you find me without anyone else I am just there. No idea what to do no one to affect or inspire to persue their likes or hobbies.
When I am alone I am alone. I guess that I have a hard time amusing myself or finding interest with myself.
I guess that I fear being nothing without the people around me. This leads me to the further thought that I wish I were the leader that I pose to be. An idividual that people would find some interest in or would be inspired by my actions.
I do not believe that I have made any actions that others may look up to or find...laudable.
I am a (fairly humurous Red Dwarf quote that I can't remember) "barely literate space bum"
A character on the screen to amuse and interest others. The only thing that I have to offer produces only a reaction in the others around me. If alone, I have no audience.
I will leave you with that. I need to drink my drink.
Untill the next time...
Same Bat time...
Same Bat chanel...
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Ever since I was but a young teenager *haha with a big crush* I have always looked up to you. You may not know it but you have taught me good little lessons in life which I still keep dear to my decision making today.
I have never looked down upon you, always looked up. You to me, have always been wise and someone I could always go to for advice. In some ways I have always wanted to be like you. Carefree, always having fun, center of attention, advice giver, etc.
I do not believe that you are a selfish person, your LJ is yours, you say what you feel, and even if I misunderstood anything it doesn't matter. Only you know what the hell you're meaning to say. I just hope and was letting you know that I don't look at you the way you seem to feel.
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