I feel like i'm not a good friend...

[josef14]

Yesterday- I got off work around 8 am and went home. After i showered and did some major groming i finally laid down for bed around 10. I slept to around 1 and laid in bed until 1:30 before actually putting clothes on. While i drove my nice hour drive i got to the Dickersons road part of the trip to find out that it was closed. I didn't know the other ways to get to my destination so i had to turn around and make another 20 min trip to Briely- got turned around- made another turn to get off on Madison. Well, i turned my hour trip into a 3 hour trip. It was raining like hell and i could see and i was getting really frustated and upset that i was in so much traffic. I make it to the friends house i was going to see when I noticed this stupid little 16yr old strung out on Drugs. I was not in a good mood seeing someone that young messed up on TINA and Calitapline Pot i think i over heard.(Not sure about this drug stuff) I started hanging out with the 2 friends i actually wanted to see when one wanted to talk to me about dating me again. David, an ex-boyfriend i broke up with b/c of his drug use, kept on and on about how much he loves me. He really started to get on my nerves and i told him he wasn't going to change so why should i care. He kept saying he'd quit the drugs and all that for me and i told him that if he quit i would reconsider dating him. I explained that it was going to take about a month or 2 of his non-drug use before i would even go out with him on a date. He get's mad and walks into the bedroom with NE C and smokes Pot. Well, i can't stand being around drugs so i call Cleve. I knew he was a good friend i could count on and i was starting to get scared with all these people skecthing out. I asked if i could come over if things got worse and i didn't leave with the 1 friend not on drugs. He said yes and i was so thankfull. Well, things went down hill from there. 2 other people knocked on the door and it was disgusting. These 2 drag queen wanna bees came in. One asked for a cig from NE C and i noticed him shaking so bad. NeC asked why he was shaking and he said," I've been up for 4 days and haven't ate on TINA." My QUE to leave after that. SO, i get my stuff and leave. I called Cleve and THANK GOD he said i could come over. I was on my way there when i got another phone call from Shenna. Shenna, who i haven't seen in 4 months, called me asking me to please come see her since i was finally back in town. I called CLeve and told him i'd be there later. Things passed fast and i didn't realize the time. I called Cleve and told him that i wanted to go and see her for a bit and he said it would still be ok if i came over. When we decided to leave it was 11:30 and i could even hold my eyes open and i knew i couldn't drive. I knew Cleve had to work at 7 am and i wasn't very clear if it was ok if i stayed there while he was at work. I didn't really feel comfortable there by myself b/c i have respect so i sent him a text saying that a friend was going to drive me back to Dickson. I feel really bad b/c he opened his house up to me. I feel like a horrible friend. I just didn't want him to wait up on me since he had to be at work. It's hard on me to have people expecting me to say i'm coming but deep down know that i'm not. I'm not like that. I know i've done it to him before so i'm appologizing in a public manor to say i'm so SORRY. I worked all night, slept for really about an hour, and had a stressful day of events. TO CLEVE- I am soooooooo SORRY!!!

Asking for forgiveness,
Jo Jo