(no subject)
I am officially very nervous about leaving for Germany, granted, I still have three weeks left until I depart. But I'm still grappling with how to be myself in a foreign language, where my dorm is, and what all the other IES students are going to be like. And hoping that they like me, and that I meet Germans and can speak the language. All of those silly things that you think about when you have too much time to think about such things. I really want to contact the other kids on my program - especially the one who lives in Hillsboro - but I feel like it would be too forward and off-putting. I have almost everything I need, or think I need, to go - all that's left is german review and actually packing it all. A backpacking pack and a small suitcase. This should be interesting...
I'm watching the Masterpiece Theatre "Jane Eyre" and Jane is finally back with Mr. Rochester. She loves him so much.
Sometime I don't understand life and how it works. A friend of mine was in town this weekend - because of circumstances we couldn't see each other - and I was so excited when I heard that he was coming. When Eden told me, I was fit to burst. That feeling when you think you've seen someone for the last time - and then you find out there may be one more chance .... I felt so alive. I felt so real - none of these suppressed feelings or misunderstandings or pretending some that was indeed happening wasn't - I just felt so happy. I met - well, I should say, got to know, because we'd met a year before - this wonderful, passionate, interesting, sweet, caring, interesting, genuine person by chance. A simple invitation to sit at a table - one that I'd walked by time and again - and I got to know this person who I wanted to spend so many more hours with. And this time, it didn't feel like it was all happening because I am leaving - with almost all the others, it was always, "well, might as well .... there won't be another chance." This time, it felt like it was happening in spite of my departure. And, of course, I'm making this into more of a romantic (both big R and little R, for those alker-heads out there) situation that it really was, but I just wish we could have had more time.
I guess, at this point, all I can ask for is what I've already received: a few more chances.
And we'll see where the next months takes me ... something tell me, come next August, I won't have believed what the last six months have brought me.
I'm watching the Masterpiece Theatre "Jane Eyre" and Jane is finally back with Mr. Rochester. She loves him so much.
Sometime I don't understand life and how it works. A friend of mine was in town this weekend - because of circumstances we couldn't see each other - and I was so excited when I heard that he was coming. When Eden told me, I was fit to burst. That feeling when you think you've seen someone for the last time - and then you find out there may be one more chance .... I felt so alive. I felt so real - none of these suppressed feelings or misunderstandings or pretending some that was indeed happening wasn't - I just felt so happy. I met - well, I should say, got to know, because we'd met a year before - this wonderful, passionate, interesting, sweet, caring, interesting, genuine person by chance. A simple invitation to sit at a table - one that I'd walked by time and again - and I got to know this person who I wanted to spend so many more hours with. And this time, it didn't feel like it was all happening because I am leaving - with almost all the others, it was always, "well, might as well .... there won't be another chance." This time, it felt like it was happening in spite of my departure. And, of course, I'm making this into more of a romantic (both big R and little R, for those alker-heads out there) situation that it really was, but I just wish we could have had more time.
I guess, at this point, all I can ask for is what I've already received: a few more chances.
And we'll see where the next months takes me ... something tell me, come next August, I won't have believed what the last six months have brought me.