(no subject)
SOOOO . . .s'been a while.
I have been jumping double dutch through my ass trying to get ahead and do well at work, it would seem I've made some leeway. I now am writing content and off the phones. like, not even content, really, but process. And I thought back in the day when my teachers were showing me flowcharts "Like I'm ever gonna use THIS in real life."
"process and communications management"
That's my title.
woohoo.
same company.
I don't have internet at home. In the last year I bought my own condo, income taxes really started taking a bite and I either had to have another kid or buy a home, I opted for home ownership. Moved out to the 'burbs where Hannah is in a grand school district and my car is parked in a low insurance risk area. Daycare out there, unfortunately, is through the roof, and I typically worry about how I'm going to go grocery shopping AND pay the utilities bill, but it's all good, I'm getting somewhere eventually, maybe, sorta?
Love life is nil. Most men aggravate or frustrate me no end. I have gone round and round with the same three guys for the last two years, I would settle if any one of them could see fit to pull his head out of his ass.
I miss you all. I miss folks who care. I miss folks who think. I miss folks who can spell normal standard english instead of weird text messaging short hand.
Yeah, I think I'm kind of lonely, sometimes. My patience for petty drama continues to decline or, at least, my willingness to put up with it. And truth be told, most of the time I'm happy with the company of Hannah and myself. At the end of an evening socializing with people I am ready and rearing to go home, I come away feeling a little raw, emotionally sunburned, mentally abraded. But then every once in a while I realize there is someone who I appreciate talking to and whose insights and thoughts I value, or who I'm just plane happy to be around, and then . . . I stay up at night trying to restrain myself from calling them right then and there to tell them everything that I just realized I want to tell them. Having someone around doesn't seem like quite as much of an emotional burden as it has in the past. And then. . . I really don't know how to behave. I have trained myself to be standoffish, I have ice queen down to a fine art, if you don't really know me. Of course, in the last year and a half, the few folks I have warmed to and/or for have ended up being disappointments, and sometimes I find it difficult to even attempt to put forth the effort.
My friends, I fear I will grow to be an recluse whom Hannah occasionally comes home to visit out of obligation before leaving me to my mess and my regrets.
Someone kick me in the head already.
I have been jumping double dutch through my ass trying to get ahead and do well at work, it would seem I've made some leeway. I now am writing content and off the phones. like, not even content, really, but process. And I thought back in the day when my teachers were showing me flowcharts "Like I'm ever gonna use THIS in real life."
"process and communications management"
That's my title.
woohoo.
same company.
I don't have internet at home. In the last year I bought my own condo, income taxes really started taking a bite and I either had to have another kid or buy a home, I opted for home ownership. Moved out to the 'burbs where Hannah is in a grand school district and my car is parked in a low insurance risk area. Daycare out there, unfortunately, is through the roof, and I typically worry about how I'm going to go grocery shopping AND pay the utilities bill, but it's all good, I'm getting somewhere eventually, maybe, sorta?
Love life is nil. Most men aggravate or frustrate me no end. I have gone round and round with the same three guys for the last two years, I would settle if any one of them could see fit to pull his head out of his ass.
I miss you all. I miss folks who care. I miss folks who think. I miss folks who can spell normal standard english instead of weird text messaging short hand.
Yeah, I think I'm kind of lonely, sometimes. My patience for petty drama continues to decline or, at least, my willingness to put up with it. And truth be told, most of the time I'm happy with the company of Hannah and myself. At the end of an evening socializing with people I am ready and rearing to go home, I come away feeling a little raw, emotionally sunburned, mentally abraded. But then every once in a while I realize there is someone who I appreciate talking to and whose insights and thoughts I value, or who I'm just plane happy to be around, and then . . . I stay up at night trying to restrain myself from calling them right then and there to tell them everything that I just realized I want to tell them. Having someone around doesn't seem like quite as much of an emotional burden as it has in the past. And then. . . I really don't know how to behave. I have trained myself to be standoffish, I have ice queen down to a fine art, if you don't really know me. Of course, in the last year and a half, the few folks I have warmed to and/or for have ended up being disappointments, and sometimes I find it difficult to even attempt to put forth the effort.
My friends, I fear I will grow to be an recluse whom Hannah occasionally comes home to visit out of obligation before leaving me to my mess and my regrets.
Someone kick me in the head already.