(no subject)
I went to my very first funeral/memorial yesterday. It was intense at the time and the more I think about it the more it upsets me. At one moment you're alive, coherent, thinking, feeling, moving and the very next you're cold, wet, empty, stiff and lifeless. And as much as everyone likes to think that there's more to our existence than life in this realm, how do we know? How do we know that once we're dead, we're not dead forever, lost in a void? It's so scary to think of myself as not myself, not in my body, not connected to the people I love, not living in the realm I know. Even scarier is the thought of someone really close to me being taken away. It could happen. Right now. Tomorrow. And thats it, they're gone, forever. I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head.
Life is short, indefinate, a gift, something that people take for granted every day. I guess that's really what I came home with. The realization that you have to appreciate what you have, no matter how much life sucks at the moment. The fact is, we're alive. We're still here, in this world, living and breathing and we can't take one moment for granted because we don't know when our last will be.
I still feel sick and restless, a feeling of uneasiness that I've never felt before is plaguing me. I can't seem to shake it. I guess what really bothers me is that we waltz along through life as if we have control, as if we are the masters of our own destiny. I guess to some degree that's true but in the deeper scheme of things, we're all just helpless pawns.
I can't really say that I knew Linda Farrokh all that well but I did spend a mentionable amount of time with her and I can say that her early departure from this life is something to mourn. She was one of those people who you could just talk to, just open yourself up to. She was an amazing woman and her presence will be greatly missed.
Life is short, indefinate, a gift, something that people take for granted every day. I guess that's really what I came home with. The realization that you have to appreciate what you have, no matter how much life sucks at the moment. The fact is, we're alive. We're still here, in this world, living and breathing and we can't take one moment for granted because we don't know when our last will be.
I still feel sick and restless, a feeling of uneasiness that I've never felt before is plaguing me. I can't seem to shake it. I guess what really bothers me is that we waltz along through life as if we have control, as if we are the masters of our own destiny. I guess to some degree that's true but in the deeper scheme of things, we're all just helpless pawns.
I can't really say that I knew Linda Farrokh all that well but I did spend a mentionable amount of time with her and I can say that her early departure from this life is something to mourn. She was one of those people who you could just talk to, just open yourself up to. She was an amazing woman and her presence will be greatly missed.