Joe
I've spent the day (starting at 4am) bouncing around between shock, disbelief, heartache... and waiting to break our baby's heart with the news. She slept in very late. I wanted to let her have her Poppa for as long as possible and the longer she slept, the longer she had him.
She woke and I gave her the news late this morning. She is doing very well, considering she just lost her Poppa. They've gotten closer as of late, doing things just the two of them. I know that makes it harder, but those memories will be so important to her.
Breaking our baby's heart on Mother's Day sucked. I spent Mother's Day being very much a mother. I answered her questions about what happens next (not spiritually, but more technically). The poor dear feared that the cremation would be done at the service and she didn't think she could handle that. She wanted to know what happens with the ashes and we talked about several things people choose to do with them. I remember clearly that he did not want to take up any more space on this earth once he was gone.
Gone. Wait. What? No, that can't be right.
Years ago he swore he would never ride. But if you knew him well, were close to him, you would know that he was at his happiest since taking up riding. He took pride in his safety training. He took pride in his skills. He fit right in with the HOG groups because he was all about taking care of your community, whatever community you choose.
Whenever I drive around town, I tend to check motorcycles to see if it is someone I know, namely him. Today even seeing bikes on television I couldn't help but think of his death.
It was strange enough to adjust to my personal life without him, but as I drove this evening the thought came to me that he is... nowhere. He isn't out there anymore.
...
I have been touched by seeing all the nice things said by mutual friends. They're all true. It has been... quite odd, to say the least, to have my FB page fill up with photos of my ex-husband. I worry and my heart aches for those that were close to him, most especially Tyler and Jenny. If only I could lighten the pain for them...
...
It saddens me that Tyler will never have a free and clear beautiful Mother's Day. This holiday will forever be tainted for her. And I dread Father's Day for her, coming up so very soon.
She woke and I gave her the news late this morning. She is doing very well, considering she just lost her Poppa. They've gotten closer as of late, doing things just the two of them. I know that makes it harder, but those memories will be so important to her.
Breaking our baby's heart on Mother's Day sucked. I spent Mother's Day being very much a mother. I answered her questions about what happens next (not spiritually, but more technically). The poor dear feared that the cremation would be done at the service and she didn't think she could handle that. She wanted to know what happens with the ashes and we talked about several things people choose to do with them. I remember clearly that he did not want to take up any more space on this earth once he was gone.
Gone. Wait. What? No, that can't be right.
Years ago he swore he would never ride. But if you knew him well, were close to him, you would know that he was at his happiest since taking up riding. He took pride in his safety training. He took pride in his skills. He fit right in with the HOG groups because he was all about taking care of your community, whatever community you choose.
Whenever I drive around town, I tend to check motorcycles to see if it is someone I know, namely him. Today even seeing bikes on television I couldn't help but think of his death.
It was strange enough to adjust to my personal life without him, but as I drove this evening the thought came to me that he is... nowhere. He isn't out there anymore.
...
I have been touched by seeing all the nice things said by mutual friends. They're all true. It has been... quite odd, to say the least, to have my FB page fill up with photos of my ex-husband. I worry and my heart aches for those that were close to him, most especially Tyler and Jenny. If only I could lighten the pain for them...
...
It saddens me that Tyler will never have a free and clear beautiful Mother's Day. This holiday will forever be tainted for her. And I dread Father's Day for her, coming up so very soon.