(no subject)
I wrote some harsh words the other day, LJ and by no means am I apologizing for them, because at some point, those words were truth to me. They were my reality, and apologizing for them or trying to take them back is denying my personal truths. That is something I will not ever do. However I can expand upon them.
I derp on occasion, I'm not going to deny that, you see I didn't read something completely and I missed, what I thought to be something precious waiting for me at the bottom of an entry.
It was a piece of music I had used to describe a feeling of acceptance and comfort. A sigh of relief song, to be specific. In context it summed up how I was feeling after my first encounter with a pink elephant back in May.
I was stupidly entertained by the fact that song was used in such a context a few days ago. It may have been chosen because it fit the tone of the entry, but it also has significance to me, and I can't help shake the feeling it was put there partly because I'd notice it.
Picking that piece specifically was a conscious effort, especially since trouble was put into embedding it instead of just putting at the music section at the bottom. I can't help but ask why?
I like that feeling you get when you see how much you've impacted someone and you know there will still be ripples of your affect on them for a while.
I really would like to salvage anything left if that's even possible at this point. I kinda feel like this is all some kind of understanding that can be worked out. I'd like to see that done. You've made me feel a bit alienated and awkward making any kind of first move or advance to start any kind of conversation, so I'm leaving this one up to you.
I derp on occasion, I'm not going to deny that, you see I didn't read something completely and I missed, what I thought to be something precious waiting for me at the bottom of an entry.
It was a piece of music I had used to describe a feeling of acceptance and comfort. A sigh of relief song, to be specific. In context it summed up how I was feeling after my first encounter with a pink elephant back in May.
I was stupidly entertained by the fact that song was used in such a context a few days ago. It may have been chosen because it fit the tone of the entry, but it also has significance to me, and I can't help shake the feeling it was put there partly because I'd notice it.
Picking that piece specifically was a conscious effort, especially since trouble was put into embedding it instead of just putting at the music section at the bottom. I can't help but ask why?
I like that feeling you get when you see how much you've impacted someone and you know there will still be ripples of your affect on them for a while.
I really would like to salvage anything left if that's even possible at this point. I kinda feel like this is all some kind of understanding that can be worked out. I'd like to see that done. You've made me feel a bit alienated and awkward making any kind of first move or advance to start any kind of conversation, so I'm leaving this one up to you.