Introversion vs. Shyness
"idk why introverts have a reputation of being quiet and shy people who'd rather be alone. have you ever been friends with an introvert who's decided you're worth their time? we turn into the clingiest, most needy pieces of shit on the planet because there's so few people we can actually stand" ~talkdowntowhitepeople
"That's exactly what all people should know."
"Also if an introvert feels comfortable around you they will literally talk and talk. It's because they spend most of their time alone so they gather a lot of information, ideas and they just MUST share them with someone."
Introversion and shyness are two different things (and both are yet different from "social anxiety"). A person can be both introverted and shy, but they are separate concepts. Introverts get overwhelmed by people. This manifests in different ways - sometimes it means that they take a long time to "warm up" to someone. Sometimes it means that they use up a lot of emotional energy after being social and need to "recharge" with some alone-time afterwards.
Sometimes it means that large crowds are actually good for them if they have a specific job function in that crowd, because a large enough crowd stops being "lots of people" and starts being "one crowd" (i.e. actors, public speakers, community organizers, etc.)
Ask my partners after I haven't seen them in a while about my info dumps. Because I spend most of my waking hours alone, and the rest of those hours at work where I don't particularly *want* to talk about important things to my coworkers, I just kind of store up conversations in my head.
The longer we go without seeing each other, the more topics I queue up. Then, the minute I see my partner, it all comes out like word vomit and I basically talk non-stop for an hour or two (or longer, depending on how much I have to say).
Introverts are not (necessarily) shy. We tend to be deep thinkers with a lot of time to do that thinking. So we might feel uncomfortable with "small talk" and not want to bother talking at all unless we can avoid the more superficial topics. But bring up something that we're passionate about? Good luck shutting us up.
This, btw, does not mean that extroverts are NOT "deep thinkers". Extroverts just need less motivation to talk to someone because talking to people energizes them, whereas talking to people we are not emotionally connected to uses our emotional energy.
For an extrovert, talking *is the point*. They like engaging in conversation for its own sake. They might have additional reasons for liking conversation, but the conversation doesn't have to be a vehicle for anything else - conversing just to converse is reason enough.
For an introvert, it's a sharing of the self, so we need more of a reason to do it. If we can have a conversation with Not People, it won't drain our energy. Large, faceless crowds can become Not People for some of us, and close, intimate friends / family / loved ones can become Not People that don't drain our energy. Or, if the subject is something we feel passionate about, it will be less of a drain because it's not so much about "talking with people" but more about "sharing of ourselves".
"Being seen" is something that most people have a drive to do. That manifests differently in different people. If you can convince an introvert that we are being "seen", we'll open right up and you won't be able to tell the difference between us and an extrovert unless you understand the real difference between introversion and extroversion.
This post was originally posted at https://joreth.dreamwidth.org/398307.html.
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