A Woman's Orgasm Shouldn't Be The Goal Of Sex
https://theestablishment.co/a-womans-orgasm-shouldn-t-be-the-goal-of-sex-b0c15cc38c03
This is why I, not only disbelieve any man who claims to be "good" at getting women off (or who offers to get me off), but I actively am repelled by the claim. A woman's orgasm becomes just one more trophy for which men compete, not an experience for the woman. The woman as a person and her pleasure is incidental to the fact that *the man got her off*.
Fuck that shit.
A man who is genuinely interested in a woman's pleasure because he cares about her experience, not his own score card, does not generally feel the need to proclaim his prowess, either publicly or in private conversation as part of a proposal to talk a woman into sex with him.
"A new study published in the Journal of Sex Research has found that men derive a sense of “achievement” by bringing women to orgasm. But not just any achievement - not the sense of satisfaction that comes from giving someone else pleasure - but the kind that comes from self-validation"
"That’s right - a woman’s orgasm and pleasure have become about reassuring insecure dudes that they’re real men"
"Being treated like a project is exhausting." - Suddenly, not only do I now *have* to orgasm (even if my body or mind doesn't really feel like it), but I also have to do emotional labor whether I orgasm or not. If I'm the one who just had sex without an orgasm, I have to spend my time consoling THE GUY for "failing". If I did manage to have an orgasm, I have to put my own afterglow on hold while the guy celebrates HIS accomplishment and I have to properly thank and reward him for receiving the benefits of his hard work.
"Because of this, reaching orgasm can feel like work and often is. It’s tiresome enough, the constant self-objectification and pressure to perform like a pornstar, without the added pressure to “come” to validate the man."
MY ORGASM IS NOT ABOUT YOU. IT IS NEVER ABOUT YOU. MY ORGASM IS COMPLETELY AND SOLELY ABOUT ME, MY BODY, AND MY FEELINGS. YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY THAT I ALLOW YOU TO WITNESS IT AT ALL.
This post was originally posted at https://joreth.dreamwidth.org/395698.html.
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