Getting The Right Bra
Lately on Facebook and Twitter and G+, I've been supporting the opening of a new store called Revelations in Fit. Although there are similar local stores in select large cities, the concept for this store is still a revolutionary idea - that women are a lot of different sizes and shapes, that American bras are terribly designed for that variety and American sizing and fitting systems are completely wrong, and that every woman deserves a bra that fits. This new store came about from the author of the blog Adventures in Bra Fitting, who saw this problem and tried to help by sharing with women the correct way to fit a bra. As a professional costumer and corsetier and a full-figured woman with a small frame, she is more than qualified to help.
Poorly fitting bras cause a lot of problems. They contribute to back pain, bad posture, fatigue, poorly fitting clothing, and low self-esteem when women don't like how they look in the mirror. It is very disheartening to not have well-fitting clothing. Yes, I realize this is a first-world problem, and even a class problem in first worlds, but it's still a problem. They may also be associated with other health concerns (although the idea that underwire causes breast cancer is a complete myth, so just drop that one right there).
And the problem is not reserved for large-chested women. I'm very small. I've been an A-cup most of my adult life, sometimes a B-cup depending on the brand. But even small-breasted women are sized incorrectly. For small women, American retailers seem to think that small cup sizes can only be found on bodies with small band sizes, and many of them seem to think that the only bodies with small band sizes must be pre-adult. So any bra I could find to fit me didn't have underwire, was in pastel pink with cartoon characters on it, and didn't encourage the very adult silhouette that I was trying to achieve. That is, assuming I could find a bra that fit in the band size as well as the cup size, because I have a wide back too.
On the adult shelves, bras with my cup sizes were all padded so heavily that I could have stopped a bullet to my heart. Apparently, being a small cup size is fine if you're 13, but if you're 30, you obviously must hate being that small and desire a larger size by any means necessary. So I might find a bra with the right size printed on the label, but when I put it on, I suddenly looked like a porn star trying to bust out of my tight tank tops but with no actual cleavage since the added inches were all from padding and not breast tissue. It was kind of freaky.
On top of all that, I still had the same problems that larger women have. The underwire wouldn't sit all the way back and would rest on the sides of my boobs. The gore wouldn't lay flat. The straps would cut into my shoulders because they were taking all the weight. The straps were tiny little strings that would cut into my shoulders even without any weight, or would slide right off. The back of the bra would curve up instead of laying horizontal to the floor because I was compensating for the tiny string straps that would slide off. Bras were available only in the most hideous of colors or white/beige only. And even if everything else was fine, the molded cups would be the wrong shape for my breasts causing a big gap at the top and wrinkles in the front that could be seen through my shirts. And I would pay a fortune for the privilege of wearing such crappy bras.
Then, a quirk I have that is not terribly common (but I'm certainly not the only case in the world), is that I have overly sensitive nipples. What fun! some people say. It must be awesome during sex! Yeah-no. I get an excruciating shock from the nerve pain when my nipples are brushed by pretty much anything - hands, my arms, things I'm holding, even my shirt material can be too much. It's not arousing, it's like banging your funny bone constantly, but it starts in the nipples. Only when I am fully sexually aroused can my partners even approach my breasts because it's only then that my brain converts that sensitivity into pleasure. And then I spend the next day or two being extra sensitive because of all the contact from the sex. Sometimes I even have to wear large adhesive bandages under my bras to help deaden the sensation, and I'll sleep with a bra on. So I need padding on my bras to help with that problem, but as I said above, manufacturers seem to think that I want the padding because I'm ashamed to be small and they go overboard.
A few years ago, I started finding these bras with this little ring and hook on the back of the straps. Where most bras had straight straps that go over the shoulder and straight down to the bra strap in the back, these were intended to hook the straps together to form an X shape across the shoulder blades. FINALLY! My straps didn't fall down! I have scoliosis and rounded shoulders, so the strap falling down thing is an even worse problem than for most people. I started wearing those bras exclusively and I was mostly, well, not quite content, but I settled for them even though I still had the empty-at-the-top cup problem. I was unable to find them in an A cup in my band size, so I just lived with the gap. They're also awkward to put on and take off, although way less awkward than those stupid little plastic thingies that you can add to any bra to create the same effect - I can't even get into one of those without help! Since I live alone, you can see the problem here.
But then, as they do, fashions change and store inventories change and I started to have trouble finding that style anymore, let alone that style in colors I liked and in my size. So for the last two years, I've been on a crusade to find bras whose straps hooked together in the back. I avoided all racerback bras because I could only find them in sports bras, and that style was just unacceptable to me. I wanted the underwire, I wanted a low neckline, and I wanted something that didn't make me choose between no support (loose fitting) and squishing (proper sports bra support) as my regular daily bra. I also wanted bras that came in the same colors as my current bras because I match my bra and underwear always, even when no one will see them, and I didn't want to have to buy all new underwear to match the new bras. Plus, I'm just as picky about my underwear style and I can't find that anywhere anymore either. Also, can we PLEASE have something besides neon and pink now?
One day, I saw a bra hanging on the rack that looked like the cups were the right shape for my breasts with a plunging neckline which I prefer so that I don't have to get separate "dress up" bras from my daily bras (because seriously, $50-$200 for one bra?!). It was a heather grey, which matches some of my underwear. And it had a racerback! It was a front enclosure, which I felt very dubious about because I have not had good luck with bras that I couldn't adjust for my daily weight changes, but I found a 36B and tried it on anyway.
[Cue heavenly choir singing and magical sunbeam to stream in and highlight the bra]
The bra fit! The band fit snugly against my ribcage and stayed horizontal to the floor! The straps were wide and rested comfortably on my shoulders! The racerback design prevented the straps from slipping! The underwire exactly lined my breast root, supporting the tissue instead of pressing on it or doing nothing! The gore lay flat! It had just enough padding to protect my overly sensitive nipples but not so much to make me feel like I was being dishonest. My boobs completely filled up the cup without spilling out or creating the dreaded "quad-boob" effect (which, to be honest, was not a problem I ever really had until I tried on this same bra in the A size). And the silhouette was very adult. Without excessive padding! For the first time in my life, I had cleavage!
In fact, ever since I've been wearing this bra, people who know me well have been asking me if I've gotten larger. I attribute it to the fact that, when a bra doesn't fit properly, sometimes breast tissue can migrate towards under the arms, causing that strange underarm bulge. When a woman puts on a bra, and it fits well, she is supposed to lean over and more or less scoop all of her breasts into the bra. Some women, including me, have noticed that they will lose that underarm bulge after they have been wearing properly fitted bras for a while because the breast tissue migrates back towards the boobs where it belongs. So, although I am still the same cup size that I've always been, and a larger cup size even in this same bra is clearly too big, I believe that my breasts may have gotten fuller because all the breast tissue is where it's supposed to be.
The band is just a tiny bit stretchier when I put a finger under the band and pull away from my body than it ought to be. But I tried on the next smaller size and it was uncomfortably snug and leaves red indents after wearing it. This band fits snugly, it just happens to be a really stretchy cotton material, like a sports bra. The numbers also don't measure up even to proper fitting measurements. I don't even know what size I am according to the way Americans are taught to fit bras because I never used that system. I just tried on bras until I thought they fit and then went out looking for bras close to that size each time I needed to buy new ones. In a proper fitting, a measuring tape around my underbust is a 29-30 and a measuring tape around the fullest part of my breasts is a 33-34, so I should be a 30C or D in European sizes. But trust me, I do not have enough volume in my breasts to fill out a C up. I have trouble filling out B cups.
I tried on a 32C a few times. The bands are way too tight and the cups are way too big. This is the opposite problem most women have. The crappy fitting system American women are taught tends to leave them with bands that are too big and cups that are too small. I feel most comfortable in a 34 or 36 band size and an A or B cup size, depending on the bra. Since I have never had the problems of bands rising up in the back or of spilling out of my cups, I'm pretty confident that, in spite of the measuring tape numbers, I am not, in fact, a 30D. Many women, though, will find that the bra size that they thought they were, usually somewhere around a 36C or 38D if they're an "average" size, is way off and they are actually more like a 30F or 32G or something like that. But American bras don't offer those kinds of sizes. The best you can do is hope to find a bra in a 34DDD, and that's pushing it because apparently 34 is "too small" for boobs as large as DDD, or so manufacturers seem to think. You'd have to go to a specialty shop for that, and by "specialty", I mean you can expect to only find bras in leather or rubber or barbed wire, not proper support garments. (bonus points for getting that reference)
Oh, and the icing on the cake that is the perfectly fit bra for me? It only cost me $6. No, I didn't drop a zero there. It cost me $5.95+tax. So I immediately went back to see if they had it in any other colors. They didn't. But I found the bra at a store I shop at almost weekly (Walmart - yes, I know, it's evil, but I'm poor and I really did the math on a spreadsheet and compared it with other stores and I really do save a significant amount for my regular purchases), so I stopped back into the lingerie section every time I was there to see if they added any more colors.
One week they added a neon lime green. Ugh, please! What is this fucking obsession with returning to the '80s colors? I still like a few of the '80s fashions but I've had enough of nothing but neon pink and green clothes. I miss the jewel tones. A few months later they finally added a black bra, so I bought one the second I found one in my size. Most of these bras are in the 38+ sizes and good luck finding one under a C cup! But find one, I did. Next they added a black and white horizontal wide striped bra. OK, it's not terrible, but it's also not my style.
A year passed from that first sighting of grey. And almost another. Then they added that same heather grey but with a neon pink trim instead of the purple trim of the one I originally bought. I had replaced all my other colored bras by then with substandard bras of the previous style because I needed something to wear and my old ones were just falling apart. Eventually that damn underwire gets lost in the washer no matter how many times you sew up the hole it pokes out of. But, as I said, even that previous X-hook style of bra was starting to get hard to find and now I was spoiled because I knew what a properly fitted bra was supposed to feel and look like. I started to panic that I would never find another bra to fit me again, or at least not before I completely wore out all my existing bras and I would be stuck wearing whatever was available. Again. It would be lacy and fluorescent and have a giant gap at the top of the cup and cut into my shoulders. That was to be my fate in life. I decided that I would have to be proactive.
I had committed to buying one of the grey ones, bleaching it, and then dying it red to match my red selection of underwear, just to see if that would work. So I set out to the store. When I got there, I found, to my delight, a whole rack of the Perfect Racerback Bra (it's actually called that) in white! I eagerly dug through the rack looking for a 36B. There were none. Dejected, I left. Knowing that it came in white left me unsatisfied with the bleaching hypothesis, so I continued to search for a white bra in my size in every store I went into, but I never did find one. Finally, one day, I found a 34B in white. I tried it on and, although it was less comfortable than I prefer, it was tolerable. And hey, for $6, it was worth experimenting with. Plus, I hoped it would stretch over time and/or I would finally lose some of the weight I put on these last few years and a 34 might fit better later. So I bought it, brought it home, and dyed it.
SUCCESS! The bra turned out a lovely bright shade of red to match my underwear! So I went right back to the store to look for more. Of course, there weren't any in my size. I finally grabbed a large size off the rack and tracked down a salesperson (because there weren't any behind the fitting room counter) to ask to order more. She didn't have any idea what I was talking about, so I got passed around from associate to associate to manager to manager until I found someone who punched some numbers into one of those electronic "gun" things and said that they were ordered.
I waited a few weeks because I got busy, and then went back to see if they had come in yet, only to find that whoever I talked to didn't place any order at all and no one knew how to order more. Again, I went from person to person until someone seemed to understand my request. Again, she punched some numbers into a gun and said they were ordered and would be in by the 16th. So the 16th came and went (also because I was working) and about a week later I stopped in. I tracked down that same manager who proceeded to tell me that the warehouse went and erased all their requests a few days after I made my order and did not send any bras, but she could order them again for me. So, once more, I placed the order. This time, she asked for my phone number to call me when they came in. With low expectations, I left the store again.
About a week later, I got a call from an unknown number, so I let it go to voicemail. It was the manager telling me that my bras were in! Woo hoo! I went down there at my next opportunity, and after again getting passed around from person to person who had no idea what I was talking about, I finally got that same manager and went home with 11 new white bras that fit! I also picked up another grey one, but they were out of the black in my size.
My goal was to dye the bras two of each color and put one of each color away in a box so that, when my current bras wear out roughly around the time that they discontinue these bras, I would still have another set left. I have learned the hard way that when I find a style of anything that I like, I better get a backup because by the time it wears out, I'll never see that style again and I'll have to go through the process all over again of trying on a thousand different ones until I find something I don't hate. Right around the time my current pair of steel-toe boots started to wear out, I got a notice from Redwing that they were discontinuing that style and it was the only style I liked that fit me. This is my life.
I also figured that, since the price was so low, I might even dye some bras some new colors and expand my wardrobe a little. So I bought enough white bras to accommodate additional colors, although I haven't dyed them yet because I haven't found any underwear in those colors in the style that I like. Since the bra color is much more flexible, I'd rather wait to dye the bra to match underwear that I have in hand rather than try to find underwear to match the bras.
Behold! My new bra collection! I can't recommend strongly enough that if you find a bra that you really like, but it's only available in white (because well-fitting bras are "boring" and only deserve to be in white or beige, whereas fun colors and patterns are reserved for crappy-fitting bras that are "sexy", or something), buy several of them and dye them. Revelation in Fit and other similar stores are going out of their way to import fun, sexy, elegant bras in better-fitting styles so that we don't have to trade fashion for function. But if you're like me and you don't have a local shop like that around or you just can't find the style you like in a bra that fits or you have perhaps unusual fashion tastes (I hate pastels, patterns, and lace in my bras), then a fall-back option might be to make the bras yourself. Or, at least, color them yourself.
Get out your bottles of RIT, pull out some fabric paint markers, add some lace, hell, break out the Bedazzler for all I care! For the kinky-minded, you can even paint them with liquid latex using the technique I developed for my costumes and get some fun latex bras that still fit and still support instead of those cheap-ass triangles of latex with strings that they think women want to wear to be "sexy"! But buy your bras for function first and buy a few of them and then pretty them up yourself if you must. While I wish we could all find super cute bras that are the perfect fit, just in case you haven't yet found that magic combination, you can always stack the deck in your favor. It is far more important to buy a bra that fits than to buy a bra that's cute, if you have to choose one over the other. But I'm betting, like me, it never occurred to many people that you don't have to settle for white and you can do something about it yourself. The dye process was surprisingly easy. I just filled a bucket with hot water, 1 cup of salt, and half a bottle of RIT for the red, 1 bottle for a dark purple, and 1/4 bottle for a light tan (obviously one at a time), dumped in the bras and stirred for half an hour while watching TV. Then I rinsed them in the shower until the water ran clear, washed and dried them in the laundry machines, and that's it! I now have, as the label advertised, The Perfect Racerback Bra for me. They fit right, they are the colors I like, and they have the lack of extraneous *stuff* that I like (lace, gems, ribbons, bows, etc.).
Really, go out and do this now. First, get yourself properly fitted. Here are some resources to learn how to fit your bras. DO NOT go to Victoria's Secret!! I mean it, don't go there. Not to get fitted, anyway. If you do choose to shop there, don't let them fit you. If you can't tell them no, then disregard everything they tell you. Start with these resources first and then, using this information, try on a variety of bras in the next sizes up and down until you find the right size and shape for you. Cup shape is important too, as some of these sizing resources will cover, so even if you find the right size, you may still need to shop around for the right cup shape.
Then, once you know how to find your perfect bra, you still have to spend some time trying on a lot of bras to actually get your perfect bra. But don't shy away from the boring white ones anymore! If that's faster and/or cheaper and/or what's available, go out and get a couple of white bras in your perfect size and shape and then color and accessorize them to suit your taste! That way you'll at least have something that fits while you take your time looking for the pretty bras that match your style, and you won't hate it either.
Poorly fitting bras cause a lot of problems. They contribute to back pain, bad posture, fatigue, poorly fitting clothing, and low self-esteem when women don't like how they look in the mirror. It is very disheartening to not have well-fitting clothing. Yes, I realize this is a first-world problem, and even a class problem in first worlds, but it's still a problem. They may also be associated with other health concerns (although the idea that underwire causes breast cancer is a complete myth, so just drop that one right there).
And the problem is not reserved for large-chested women. I'm very small. I've been an A-cup most of my adult life, sometimes a B-cup depending on the brand. But even small-breasted women are sized incorrectly. For small women, American retailers seem to think that small cup sizes can only be found on bodies with small band sizes, and many of them seem to think that the only bodies with small band sizes must be pre-adult. So any bra I could find to fit me didn't have underwire, was in pastel pink with cartoon characters on it, and didn't encourage the very adult silhouette that I was trying to achieve. That is, assuming I could find a bra that fit in the band size as well as the cup size, because I have a wide back too.
On the adult shelves, bras with my cup sizes were all padded so heavily that I could have stopped a bullet to my heart. Apparently, being a small cup size is fine if you're 13, but if you're 30, you obviously must hate being that small and desire a larger size by any means necessary. So I might find a bra with the right size printed on the label, but when I put it on, I suddenly looked like a porn star trying to bust out of my tight tank tops but with no actual cleavage since the added inches were all from padding and not breast tissue. It was kind of freaky.
On top of all that, I still had the same problems that larger women have. The underwire wouldn't sit all the way back and would rest on the sides of my boobs. The gore wouldn't lay flat. The straps would cut into my shoulders because they were taking all the weight. The straps were tiny little strings that would cut into my shoulders even without any weight, or would slide right off. The back of the bra would curve up instead of laying horizontal to the floor because I was compensating for the tiny string straps that would slide off. Bras were available only in the most hideous of colors or white/beige only. And even if everything else was fine, the molded cups would be the wrong shape for my breasts causing a big gap at the top and wrinkles in the front that could be seen through my shirts. And I would pay a fortune for the privilege of wearing such crappy bras.
Then, a quirk I have that is not terribly common (but I'm certainly not the only case in the world), is that I have overly sensitive nipples. What fun! some people say. It must be awesome during sex! Yeah-no. I get an excruciating shock from the nerve pain when my nipples are brushed by pretty much anything - hands, my arms, things I'm holding, even my shirt material can be too much. It's not arousing, it's like banging your funny bone constantly, but it starts in the nipples. Only when I am fully sexually aroused can my partners even approach my breasts because it's only then that my brain converts that sensitivity into pleasure. And then I spend the next day or two being extra sensitive because of all the contact from the sex. Sometimes I even have to wear large adhesive bandages under my bras to help deaden the sensation, and I'll sleep with a bra on. So I need padding on my bras to help with that problem, but as I said above, manufacturers seem to think that I want the padding because I'm ashamed to be small and they go overboard.
A few years ago, I started finding these bras with this little ring and hook on the back of the straps. Where most bras had straight straps that go over the shoulder and straight down to the bra strap in the back, these were intended to hook the straps together to form an X shape across the shoulder blades. FINALLY! My straps didn't fall down! I have scoliosis and rounded shoulders, so the strap falling down thing is an even worse problem than for most people. I started wearing those bras exclusively and I was mostly, well, not quite content, but I settled for them even though I still had the empty-at-the-top cup problem. I was unable to find them in an A cup in my band size, so I just lived with the gap. They're also awkward to put on and take off, although way less awkward than those stupid little plastic thingies that you can add to any bra to create the same effect - I can't even get into one of those without help! Since I live alone, you can see the problem here.
But then, as they do, fashions change and store inventories change and I started to have trouble finding that style anymore, let alone that style in colors I liked and in my size. So for the last two years, I've been on a crusade to find bras whose straps hooked together in the back. I avoided all racerback bras because I could only find them in sports bras, and that style was just unacceptable to me. I wanted the underwire, I wanted a low neckline, and I wanted something that didn't make me choose between no support (loose fitting) and squishing (proper sports bra support) as my regular daily bra. I also wanted bras that came in the same colors as my current bras because I match my bra and underwear always, even when no one will see them, and I didn't want to have to buy all new underwear to match the new bras. Plus, I'm just as picky about my underwear style and I can't find that anywhere anymore either. Also, can we PLEASE have something besides neon and pink now?
One day, I saw a bra hanging on the rack that looked like the cups were the right shape for my breasts with a plunging neckline which I prefer so that I don't have to get separate "dress up" bras from my daily bras (because seriously, $50-$200 for one bra?!). It was a heather grey, which matches some of my underwear. And it had a racerback! It was a front enclosure, which I felt very dubious about because I have not had good luck with bras that I couldn't adjust for my daily weight changes, but I found a 36B and tried it on anyway.
[Cue heavenly choir singing and magical sunbeam to stream in and highlight the bra]
The bra fit! The band fit snugly against my ribcage and stayed horizontal to the floor! The straps were wide and rested comfortably on my shoulders! The racerback design prevented the straps from slipping! The underwire exactly lined my breast root, supporting the tissue instead of pressing on it or doing nothing! The gore lay flat! It had just enough padding to protect my overly sensitive nipples but not so much to make me feel like I was being dishonest. My boobs completely filled up the cup without spilling out or creating the dreaded "quad-boob" effect (which, to be honest, was not a problem I ever really had until I tried on this same bra in the A size). And the silhouette was very adult. Without excessive padding! For the first time in my life, I had cleavage!
In fact, ever since I've been wearing this bra, people who know me well have been asking me if I've gotten larger. I attribute it to the fact that, when a bra doesn't fit properly, sometimes breast tissue can migrate towards under the arms, causing that strange underarm bulge. When a woman puts on a bra, and it fits well, she is supposed to lean over and more or less scoop all of her breasts into the bra. Some women, including me, have noticed that they will lose that underarm bulge after they have been wearing properly fitted bras for a while because the breast tissue migrates back towards the boobs where it belongs. So, although I am still the same cup size that I've always been, and a larger cup size even in this same bra is clearly too big, I believe that my breasts may have gotten fuller because all the breast tissue is where it's supposed to be.
The band is just a tiny bit stretchier when I put a finger under the band and pull away from my body than it ought to be. But I tried on the next smaller size and it was uncomfortably snug and leaves red indents after wearing it. This band fits snugly, it just happens to be a really stretchy cotton material, like a sports bra. The numbers also don't measure up even to proper fitting measurements. I don't even know what size I am according to the way Americans are taught to fit bras because I never used that system. I just tried on bras until I thought they fit and then went out looking for bras close to that size each time I needed to buy new ones. In a proper fitting, a measuring tape around my underbust is a 29-30 and a measuring tape around the fullest part of my breasts is a 33-34, so I should be a 30C or D in European sizes. But trust me, I do not have enough volume in my breasts to fill out a C up. I have trouble filling out B cups.
I tried on a 32C a few times. The bands are way too tight and the cups are way too big. This is the opposite problem most women have. The crappy fitting system American women are taught tends to leave them with bands that are too big and cups that are too small. I feel most comfortable in a 34 or 36 band size and an A or B cup size, depending on the bra. Since I have never had the problems of bands rising up in the back or of spilling out of my cups, I'm pretty confident that, in spite of the measuring tape numbers, I am not, in fact, a 30D. Many women, though, will find that the bra size that they thought they were, usually somewhere around a 36C or 38D if they're an "average" size, is way off and they are actually more like a 30F or 32G or something like that. But American bras don't offer those kinds of sizes. The best you can do is hope to find a bra in a 34DDD, and that's pushing it because apparently 34 is "too small" for boobs as large as DDD, or so manufacturers seem to think. You'd have to go to a specialty shop for that, and by "specialty", I mean you can expect to only find bras in leather or rubber or barbed wire, not proper support garments. (bonus points for getting that reference)
Oh, and the icing on the cake that is the perfectly fit bra for me? It only cost me $6. No, I didn't drop a zero there. It cost me $5.95+tax. So I immediately went back to see if they had it in any other colors. They didn't. But I found the bra at a store I shop at almost weekly (Walmart - yes, I know, it's evil, but I'm poor and I really did the math on a spreadsheet and compared it with other stores and I really do save a significant amount for my regular purchases), so I stopped back into the lingerie section every time I was there to see if they added any more colors.
One week they added a neon lime green. Ugh, please! What is this fucking obsession with returning to the '80s colors? I still like a few of the '80s fashions but I've had enough of nothing but neon pink and green clothes. I miss the jewel tones. A few months later they finally added a black bra, so I bought one the second I found one in my size. Most of these bras are in the 38+ sizes and good luck finding one under a C cup! But find one, I did. Next they added a black and white horizontal wide striped bra. OK, it's not terrible, but it's also not my style.
A year passed from that first sighting of grey. And almost another. Then they added that same heather grey but with a neon pink trim instead of the purple trim of the one I originally bought. I had replaced all my other colored bras by then with substandard bras of the previous style because I needed something to wear and my old ones were just falling apart. Eventually that damn underwire gets lost in the washer no matter how many times you sew up the hole it pokes out of. But, as I said, even that previous X-hook style of bra was starting to get hard to find and now I was spoiled because I knew what a properly fitted bra was supposed to feel and look like. I started to panic that I would never find another bra to fit me again, or at least not before I completely wore out all my existing bras and I would be stuck wearing whatever was available. Again. It would be lacy and fluorescent and have a giant gap at the top of the cup and cut into my shoulders. That was to be my fate in life. I decided that I would have to be proactive.
I had committed to buying one of the grey ones, bleaching it, and then dying it red to match my red selection of underwear, just to see if that would work. So I set out to the store. When I got there, I found, to my delight, a whole rack of the Perfect Racerback Bra (it's actually called that) in white! I eagerly dug through the rack looking for a 36B. There were none. Dejected, I left. Knowing that it came in white left me unsatisfied with the bleaching hypothesis, so I continued to search for a white bra in my size in every store I went into, but I never did find one. Finally, one day, I found a 34B in white. I tried it on and, although it was less comfortable than I prefer, it was tolerable. And hey, for $6, it was worth experimenting with. Plus, I hoped it would stretch over time and/or I would finally lose some of the weight I put on these last few years and a 34 might fit better later. So I bought it, brought it home, and dyed it.
SUCCESS! The bra turned out a lovely bright shade of red to match my underwear! So I went right back to the store to look for more. Of course, there weren't any in my size. I finally grabbed a large size off the rack and tracked down a salesperson (because there weren't any behind the fitting room counter) to ask to order more. She didn't have any idea what I was talking about, so I got passed around from associate to associate to manager to manager until I found someone who punched some numbers into one of those electronic "gun" things and said that they were ordered.
I waited a few weeks because I got busy, and then went back to see if they had come in yet, only to find that whoever I talked to didn't place any order at all and no one knew how to order more. Again, I went from person to person until someone seemed to understand my request. Again, she punched some numbers into a gun and said they were ordered and would be in by the 16th. So the 16th came and went (also because I was working) and about a week later I stopped in. I tracked down that same manager who proceeded to tell me that the warehouse went and erased all their requests a few days after I made my order and did not send any bras, but she could order them again for me. So, once more, I placed the order. This time, she asked for my phone number to call me when they came in. With low expectations, I left the store again.
About a week later, I got a call from an unknown number, so I let it go to voicemail. It was the manager telling me that my bras were in! Woo hoo! I went down there at my next opportunity, and after again getting passed around from person to person who had no idea what I was talking about, I finally got that same manager and went home with 11 new white bras that fit! I also picked up another grey one, but they were out of the black in my size.
My goal was to dye the bras two of each color and put one of each color away in a box so that, when my current bras wear out roughly around the time that they discontinue these bras, I would still have another set left. I have learned the hard way that when I find a style of anything that I like, I better get a backup because by the time it wears out, I'll never see that style again and I'll have to go through the process all over again of trying on a thousand different ones until I find something I don't hate. Right around the time my current pair of steel-toe boots started to wear out, I got a notice from Redwing that they were discontinuing that style and it was the only style I liked that fit me. This is my life.
I also figured that, since the price was so low, I might even dye some bras some new colors and expand my wardrobe a little. So I bought enough white bras to accommodate additional colors, although I haven't dyed them yet because I haven't found any underwear in those colors in the style that I like. Since the bra color is much more flexible, I'd rather wait to dye the bra to match underwear that I have in hand rather than try to find underwear to match the bras.
Behold! My new bra collection! I can't recommend strongly enough that if you find a bra that you really like, but it's only available in white (because well-fitting bras are "boring" and only deserve to be in white or beige, whereas fun colors and patterns are reserved for crappy-fitting bras that are "sexy", or something), buy several of them and dye them. Revelation in Fit and other similar stores are going out of their way to import fun, sexy, elegant bras in better-fitting styles so that we don't have to trade fashion for function. But if you're like me and you don't have a local shop like that around or you just can't find the style you like in a bra that fits or you have perhaps unusual fashion tastes (I hate pastels, patterns, and lace in my bras), then a fall-back option might be to make the bras yourself. Or, at least, color them yourself.
Get out your bottles of RIT, pull out some fabric paint markers, add some lace, hell, break out the Bedazzler for all I care! For the kinky-minded, you can even paint them with liquid latex using the technique I developed for my costumes and get some fun latex bras that still fit and still support instead of those cheap-ass triangles of latex with strings that they think women want to wear to be "sexy"! But buy your bras for function first and buy a few of them and then pretty them up yourself if you must. While I wish we could all find super cute bras that are the perfect fit, just in case you haven't yet found that magic combination, you can always stack the deck in your favor. It is far more important to buy a bra that fits than to buy a bra that's cute, if you have to choose one over the other. But I'm betting, like me, it never occurred to many people that you don't have to settle for white and you can do something about it yourself. The dye process was surprisingly easy. I just filled a bucket with hot water, 1 cup of salt, and half a bottle of RIT for the red, 1 bottle for a dark purple, and 1/4 bottle for a light tan (obviously one at a time), dumped in the bras and stirred for half an hour while watching TV. Then I rinsed them in the shower until the water ran clear, washed and dried them in the laundry machines, and that's it! I now have, as the label advertised, The Perfect Racerback Bra for me. They fit right, they are the colors I like, and they have the lack of extraneous *stuff* that I like (lace, gems, ribbons, bows, etc.).
Really, go out and do this now. First, get yourself properly fitted. Here are some resources to learn how to fit your bras. DO NOT go to Victoria's Secret!! I mean it, don't go there. Not to get fitted, anyway. If you do choose to shop there, don't let them fit you. If you can't tell them no, then disregard everything they tell you. Start with these resources first and then, using this information, try on a variety of bras in the next sizes up and down until you find the right size and shape for you. Cup shape is important too, as some of these sizing resources will cover, so even if you find the right size, you may still need to shop around for the right cup shape.
- Adventures In Bra Fitting: http://adventuresinbrafitting.wordpress.com
- Revelation In Fit: www.indiegogo.com/projects/a-revelation-in-fit & www.facebook.com/pages/A-Revelation-in-Fit/217194971805971
- Sizem App (correct bra sizing calculator): http://www.sizemapp.com
- Bra Fit Guide: http://positivemed.com/2014/02/14/measure-right-bra-size/
Then, once you know how to find your perfect bra, you still have to spend some time trying on a lot of bras to actually get your perfect bra. But don't shy away from the boring white ones anymore! If that's faster and/or cheaper and/or what's available, go out and get a couple of white bras in your perfect size and shape and then color and accessorize them to suit your taste! That way you'll at least have something that fits while you take your time looking for the pretty bras that match your style, and you won't hate it either.