Who's Your Daddy?

[joreth]

I'm reading a book right now and there's a recurring theme that's pissing me off. The reason it's pissing me off is because I see this same theme in society around me, and it happens to be an extremely personal issue. The issue is adoption

Comments

[james_the_evil1]

This isn't a topic I know a ton about, so I'm curious about your take on something. In your case you were raised knowing the "truth" so to speak of your origins. I understand the pressure of societal memes, but what about the stories, both anecdotal & case researched, going back generations, of adopted kids in situations where the adoptions were fully closed and no hint was given to them that they were adopted (which was the norm for quite some time) yet those people grew up always not only with a strong feeling they were adopted (far stronger than the "this can't be my family" feeling that's not uncommon for teens) but once they get to be adults & are able to find out the truth an all out DETERMINATION to find their birth mom, a drive so strong they spend all kinds of crazy money & such, and where some have committed suicide if they can't find the truth

[joreth]

Technically, my adoption was fully closed too. My parents just chose to tell me those scant details they had anyway (when choosing kids to adopt, the potential parents get to know things like ethnicity and age of parent, because apparently that's important when choosing kids). If they hadn't, it would have been a considerable effort to explain how I got my sister without my mom being pregnant, but that isn't the reason why they told me - they just felt it was the right thing to do

[james_the_evil1]

That would make sense, tho some of the twin studies of seen argue for, in at least some cases, a stronger biological link. I don't think that debate will ever exactly be settled

[leora]

I think part of that stems from them never talking about the cases of people raised by their biological parents who feel like they don't fit in, want to find their real parents, but there is nothing to search for. My eldest sister's favorite book as a young child was the story of a young girl raised as a witch, but she was really a fairy, and she eventually gets to end up with her real family. It was very fitting. Not all kids feel like they fit in with their family, and I think many kids who feel like they don't will wonder if perhaps it's that their parents aren't actually their parents. If it turns out that is really the case, then they will assume that was the cause of the issue, but it might not be

[james_the_evil1]

Leora, Ray Bradbury did a wonderful flip on this idea with his stories of The Elliots, a family of vampires, psychics, werewolves, and monsters, much like the Addams family, and the "normal" boy who was left on their doorstep as an infant that they adopted to raise as their own. He grows up being TRULY "other" yet they always manage to show him he really is one of them because they love him. Good stuff.
I'd like to know the name of the book you're talking about.

[leora]

It's been years, and it was my sister who was really into it, but I think it was this book http://www.amazon.com/Little-Witch-Harper-Trophy-Books/dp/0064401197

That looks right from what I can see of the descriptions. I've now spoilered it, because if I recall correctly, it turns out that she isn't really the daughter of her witch mother, but is a cursed fairy. Which is good, because she hates living with her mother and doesn't want to be a witch.

[james_the_evil1]

Bradbury's "Elliot Family" stories sound MUCH nicer LOL.
Better lessons about love & acceptance & the real meaning of family IMO.

I'll check that out tho.

[leora]

It probably is. I think this story is a better fit for giving kids in abusive families hope for the future. But it was a book we had in my house. And it is a cute story that is done nicely