(no subject)
I used to be a livejournal whore. I was happier then.
Now there's all this like.. technology, and shit.. and I don't understand it. I feel very old. I am very old. 22, FYI.
Tonight I went to Mareya's school musical. She is 15. And beautiful, and talented, and she has a beautiful, talented boyfriend, and they are young and in love, and their parents still cook them dinner. When I was 15, I was a fat, miserable goth (what's cool is that I didn't realise I was a goth), just learning to drink, smoke pot, and form coherant arguments with christians.
Anyway, the point is that I'm feeling very insecure. I don't think seeing beautiful young people doing fabulous things on a stage has helped. So, I put on my pretty dress, and my heels, and my pearls, my favourite perfume and my lipstick, and pranced around to Sufjan Stevens with a drink and a fag. That actually made me feel better. Hah, I would have hated myself when I was 15.
Whatever, I need to have a shower and straighten my hair, because I'm planning to go out tomorrow night and find a tourist to have frantic sex with.
Actually, that's not true. I'll probably just come straight home, wax my legs, do the dishes and download the last episode of Greys Anatomy that I missed.
I might even bake a cake. Since I can't have any fucking babies. God I want babies.
Now there's all this like.. technology, and shit.. and I don't understand it. I feel very old. I am very old. 22, FYI.
Tonight I went to Mareya's school musical. She is 15. And beautiful, and talented, and she has a beautiful, talented boyfriend, and they are young and in love, and their parents still cook them dinner. When I was 15, I was a fat, miserable goth (what's cool is that I didn't realise I was a goth), just learning to drink, smoke pot, and form coherant arguments with christians.
Anyway, the point is that I'm feeling very insecure. I don't think seeing beautiful young people doing fabulous things on a stage has helped. So, I put on my pretty dress, and my heels, and my pearls, my favourite perfume and my lipstick, and pranced around to Sufjan Stevens with a drink and a fag. That actually made me feel better. Hah, I would have hated myself when I was 15.
Whatever, I need to have a shower and straighten my hair, because I'm planning to go out tomorrow night and find a tourist to have frantic sex with.
Actually, that's not true. I'll probably just come straight home, wax my legs, do the dishes and download the last episode of Greys Anatomy that I missed.
I might even bake a cake. Since I can't have any fucking babies. God I want babies.