(no subject)
all the pain in my life is leaving ... i cant feel anymore ....im dying on the inside and just want to be able to get through the day with out remembering the past and forgeting about whats going to come about in the future.....i love somone so much that it hurts me and makes me want to die....love is verry painfull and i wish i coule have changed something things so i weouldent be in this pain...... i miss people in my past but i fucken get over it..... im sick of people dweling on the past shit...... im sick of everyone and everything in this world all i got is me and my band left and i think i still have AJ till she leaves also..... today i woke up .. then anders and zane came over then i waited for a while for a call and tryed to call but never got ahold of someone and knew as soon as i woke up today something bad was going on.... anyways then i went with gabe and we hung out i love him he makes me really happy to hang out with him cuz we do the funniest stupidest shit.... then i got home and read some shit that made me sick lik eit alwasy does.... i should learn by now to not read it but i do anyways....i cant help it.... anyways i just want to go away and start over somewhere new ... dont u wish u could change things in ur past i sure as hell do i wish i could change everything..... and i also wish people had my perspective on things.. they would get over shit so easily..... the only thing im sure of today is that i love aj but everytime i talk to her she says something that makes me think she doesnt love me or she writes things..... anyways im sick of being scared so im done trying to fix everything once again....... im done and im going to be a realy bitch from now on and say exactly what people need to hear and not what they want to hear cuz everyoen needs to fucken wake up and stop dweling on the past and worry about the future and realize ur past is ruining ur future no matter what u may think...... anyways everyone also needs to grow up and realize that if they have somone that loves them and someone u love then dont worry about stuff and pull ur head out of ur ass and realize love is all u need to get through ur life......