Plagerism... and leftover high school drama
As a senior in high school I was lucky enough to be the editor of my school's literary anthology. It was all great and lovely, and I know I did quite a bit more than an editor really should have to do (I was the staff in both the Visual and Grading teams) but I wasn't really the *editor*. I had a final say on how pages looked, what order the magazine went in and that sort of stuff... but editing was (and never has been) my forte. Why don't I post any fics? Because I can't edit my own work, let alone give it to a beta...
My sister was really helpful with grammar and spelling errors (though there were very few) and we had other helpers but mostly it was me, my sister, and my girlfriend. In that sense, we didn't have alot of people but we had so much to do. So mistakes happened.
I just hate that... I can never be forgiven for those mistakes. But even worse, is that I don't trust myself anymore in a position of power.
I met with one of the authors who's work I "messed up" today, and it was the elephant in the room. I felt smothered by it, trying to be sympathetic to this girl who had been a good friend, but ended cutting me off for a year because of my position as an editor. I asked her today if she'd be my facebook friend again... because she had de-friended me after the anthology came out. Now, it's been a year... a WHOLE year and she still said "That was wrong what you did, you know, that was plagerism."
Imediately I did some more apologizing and generally putting myself down, and it made me feel... terrible about myself. I had said sorry 100 times before she cut me off, and I said it again today and she didn't care.
Now, this girl is an amazing writer. I've been in awe of her since my freshman year in high school, where we spent most of biology class talking about the novel she was writing. I also knew she was very possessive of her work, but as an editor I was put in a tight spot. We didn't have enough time to wrestle with the authors over small things, so the presiding teacher had them sign little slips that said we could (basically) do whatever we wanted to the pieces. (I saw my favorite piece of writing I've ever done get ripped to shreds and built up again... but I didn't hold a grudge against the person who did that... I accepted it.)
Her story came in two parts, and I, thinking the parts were *so* unclear added two word titles to each part. I swear, no other changes were made... and she still calls it plagerism.
Am I silly for hating myself still? For hating that I did that and hating that I bended to her will the moment she was displeased? Was it too much to ask forgiveness... after a year? Does that make me a less worthy person, because I didn't stand my ground?
My sister was really helpful with grammar and spelling errors (though there were very few) and we had other helpers but mostly it was me, my sister, and my girlfriend. In that sense, we didn't have alot of people but we had so much to do. So mistakes happened.
I just hate that... I can never be forgiven for those mistakes. But even worse, is that I don't trust myself anymore in a position of power.
I met with one of the authors who's work I "messed up" today, and it was the elephant in the room. I felt smothered by it, trying to be sympathetic to this girl who had been a good friend, but ended cutting me off for a year because of my position as an editor. I asked her today if she'd be my facebook friend again... because she had de-friended me after the anthology came out. Now, it's been a year... a WHOLE year and she still said "That was wrong what you did, you know, that was plagerism."
Imediately I did some more apologizing and generally putting myself down, and it made me feel... terrible about myself. I had said sorry 100 times before she cut me off, and I said it again today and she didn't care.
Now, this girl is an amazing writer. I've been in awe of her since my freshman year in high school, where we spent most of biology class talking about the novel she was writing. I also knew she was very possessive of her work, but as an editor I was put in a tight spot. We didn't have enough time to wrestle with the authors over small things, so the presiding teacher had them sign little slips that said we could (basically) do whatever we wanted to the pieces. (I saw my favorite piece of writing I've ever done get ripped to shreds and built up again... but I didn't hold a grudge against the person who did that... I accepted it.)
Her story came in two parts, and I, thinking the parts were *so* unclear added two word titles to each part. I swear, no other changes were made... and she still calls it plagerism.
Am I silly for hating myself still? For hating that I did that and hating that I bended to her will the moment she was displeased? Was it too much to ask forgiveness... after a year? Does that make me a less worthy person, because I didn't stand my ground?