Presence is a Present
Greetings from my desk this Monday morning.
It’s been such a difficult task the past couple weeks to keep myself within the present. I find myself looking not only to the future, but also to the past of most of my life. I wish this wasn’t so.
It makes me wonder how other people in this world do it. How do they find their peace of mind? What takes away their confusion of everything that surrounds us?
Maybe I am more sensitive than other people.
It’s so strange..I see the world and I know it is beautiful and magical and impossible. Once I see that I get this overwhelming emotion of Love towards all life that was and ever will be. Unfortunately, I cannot keep myself in this state and I’m not sure if I really want to. I feel as if it would make me feel just as insane as I do whenever I do not feel this worldly compassion. It seems logical to want to feel this Love, after all, it is our entire being.
I respect the teachers that have come to this earth because I can only imagine what kind of weight they must feel to bring forth peace to this world. Perhaps I am wrong though. It could be the exact opposite. It could be so easy for them to feel everything all at once and maybe that is why they are considered teachers.
So, what does that make me? I am aware of this Love. I am aware. At the same time, I choose not to be aware at all times. Of course, this is a choice of my own; another stepping stone towards finding Who I Really Am.
Is there something wrong with me? Why can I not hold onto this all encompassing feeling of goodness? Instead, it seems as if I torture myself. I make myself not follow the path laid out right before me. I really don’t know why that is.
It seems every time I do spend minuets, hours, and sometimes even days in this state, in the back of my consciousness, I am just waiting for it all to blow away again and for me to become human once more.
Human.
Why did I ever choose to become a human being on this lonely planet in a fixed point in this universe?
Of all the places I have been, and all the place I could have gone, I chose here. This ever so small, but larger than life world, where not only are there billions of souls residing here, but also every blade of grass, every pebble, every breath..it all means something. It means more than something! It means everything! It is everything!
There. That’s the peace I am talking about. For a brief moment, I felt It. I know It is always within me. It flows within me and without me. It truly is all up to me to allow myself be fully present. Presence is a present.
5.6.13
It’s been such a difficult task the past couple weeks to keep myself within the present. I find myself looking not only to the future, but also to the past of most of my life. I wish this wasn’t so.
It makes me wonder how other people in this world do it. How do they find their peace of mind? What takes away their confusion of everything that surrounds us?
Maybe I am more sensitive than other people.
It’s so strange..I see the world and I know it is beautiful and magical and impossible. Once I see that I get this overwhelming emotion of Love towards all life that was and ever will be. Unfortunately, I cannot keep myself in this state and I’m not sure if I really want to. I feel as if it would make me feel just as insane as I do whenever I do not feel this worldly compassion. It seems logical to want to feel this Love, after all, it is our entire being.
I respect the teachers that have come to this earth because I can only imagine what kind of weight they must feel to bring forth peace to this world. Perhaps I am wrong though. It could be the exact opposite. It could be so easy for them to feel everything all at once and maybe that is why they are considered teachers.
So, what does that make me? I am aware of this Love. I am aware. At the same time, I choose not to be aware at all times. Of course, this is a choice of my own; another stepping stone towards finding Who I Really Am.
Is there something wrong with me? Why can I not hold onto this all encompassing feeling of goodness? Instead, it seems as if I torture myself. I make myself not follow the path laid out right before me. I really don’t know why that is.
It seems every time I do spend minuets, hours, and sometimes even days in this state, in the back of my consciousness, I am just waiting for it all to blow away again and for me to become human once more.
Human.
Why did I ever choose to become a human being on this lonely planet in a fixed point in this universe?
Of all the places I have been, and all the place I could have gone, I chose here. This ever so small, but larger than life world, where not only are there billions of souls residing here, but also every blade of grass, every pebble, every breath..it all means something. It means more than something! It means everything! It is everything!
There. That’s the peace I am talking about. For a brief moment, I felt It. I know It is always within me. It flows within me and without me. It truly is all up to me to allow myself be fully present. Presence is a present.
5.6.13