thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box

[jordan_mcevans]

It was nice to get some sleep finally, thanks to Jenny. Didn't exactly appreciate the whole jumping on me part, but I know she means well. I've made progress, such as getting up and eating food. Jen tried to push me to a movie but I couldn't. Somehow sitting in a dark theater watching boring pictures is just going to get me thinking again, which I'

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[stefan_d]

"Dude, I wasn't expectin' you to be out partyin'," I say, working hard to keep the bite out of my own voice. "But you can't stay in bed all the time. You'll make yourself sick, and what good'll that do?" I sigh. "Why don't ya sit down? I didn't bring my brass knuckles or anything."

If he doesn't sit down, I'm worried he'll fall down. He looks that bad.

[jordan_mcevans]

I nod, staggering over to the couch and sitting down. Sighing, I lean back and close my eyes for a second before pulling them back open. No brass knuckles are always a plus. "I thought you'd be more concerned with beating my face in than my actual health." I tell him with a small smirk. After a minute, it fades and my voice is quieter. "I fucked up, Stef. Badly. And I'm sorry. I understand if it's not enough. We had a deal after all."

[stefan_d]

"Okay, yeah, I was pissed as hell at first," I say. Obviously. I can't stay mad at him. "I know you didn't do it deliberately, but yeah. We got problems now." Like he doesn't know that already.

I turn sideways and put one foot up on the cushion to rest my arms on, cushions be damned.

[jordan_mcevans]

More than problems. I lean forward and put my hands in my lap, wringing them together. "What do you suggest we do?"

[stefan_d]

"Jor," I point out, "we're kinda shit out of luck 'til Taffy's back where we can see her. We got no idea if she's watchin' now or if she's anyplace where we could talk to her." It's a helpless and not very good feelin', but there it is. I sigh, rubbin' my eyes.

[jordan_mcevans]

Exactly. Which is what I've been thinking about for the past damn week or so. "You know..." I start, looking around and scratching a spot that doesn't itch at the back of my neck. "If we can't do this, she and I, I'm gonna' take off. I don't think I can be here without her." May be dramatic of me, but it's true.

[stefan_d]

"C'mon, don't assume the worst is gonna happen, okay?" I coax him. "It may take a little while, but I can't imagine her not forgivin' you." Okay, how'd that happen? Here I am consolin' him.

[jordan_mcevans]

I thought I couldn't either, but now I'm not so sure. I love her, and she loves me, but that could stop on her part. It could be that bad. I try to smile, I really do, but it's a lot harder than usual. "Yeah, I...I don't know why I do that, sorry." I speak quietly, not knowing what else to say. Finally, a question springs to mind. "How's Maddie?"

[stefan_d]

"She's uh... I dunno." How to describe the strange mood Maddie's seemed to be in lately? "She seems a little sad, a little distant." I leave it at that. What good would it do to tell him that she wasn't keen on goin' back to bein' dead? 'Cause if she didn't that'd mean Taffy wouldn't be coming back.

[jordan_mcevans]

Sad and distant. Aren't we all? Still not good to hear though, that Maddie's not very happy. Though her granddaughter's in the spirit world, so it's understandable. I'm quiet again after that, looking down and then back up, meeting his eyes. "And how are you, Stef?"