avoiding

[jordan_mcevans]

Stefan called. Interesting conversation if I do say so myself. Interesting and awkward. He got some kind of message from Maddie telling him to not leave Taffy alone. He passed the word on and well, I still haven't exactly gotten over there. I was at the high school the other day setting up my new classroom and checking out some new guitars they

Comments

[jordan_mcevans]

Wow, I don't even remember knocking. When did I do that? Oh well, she opened the door and she doesn't look exactly like she wants me to turn right around and go away, but she does look sorta confused. I'm not exactly sure. "Hi?" I offer, not knowing what to do. I miss her. Are we on a hugging basis? I can't remember.

[jordan_mcevans]

I suddenly feel really awful. Like a huge jerk. "Sure." I say, stepping through the doorway. It'd be stupid to ask how she is. Made that mistake before. For now I'm quiet. This may be more awkward than it should be. Or it could be awkward enough.

[jordan_mcevans]

It's nice to see you too. I miss you and I want things how they used to be. "You too," I decide on, and then, "Uh, and no, I'm okay."

[jordan_mcevans]

Feeling the need to sit anyway, I sit on the other side of the couch. Brings back weird memories. Watching her fade away. Not being able to do a single thing. I find myself turning my head just to see that she's really there. I can't help but stare for a few seconds. And then I remember she asked me a question. "I've been..." I sigh, trying to search for the right word. It doesn't come to me.

[jordan_mcevans]

"Yeah, I guess miserable would cut it." I say, still looking in her direction. I shake my head, feeling the need to just try and make this a little better, even if I can't. "I'm sorry." I tell her, shaking my head. I don't know which part I'm apologizing for. I guess everything. "I'm sorry everything got so wrong."

[jordan_mcevans]

I raise an eyebrow at that. "Not considering it?" I ask, the pitch in my voice raising slightly.

[jordan_mcevans]

It hits me. That. She's talking about her uh, suggestion. From before at dinner. I feel my face coloring before I can even realize it. "No, I um...sorry. No, I...don't want to do that." 'Weren't even thinking of trying' put it nicely. Should of stuck with that.