Telemarketers
Ok I am updating. Where I am currently, computers have not been discovered. I have nicked the laptop belonging to the man sitting beside me - ie Pete - so I can get on the internet.
Just a quick whine about telemarketers. I don't know how exactly they get my number, as it's unlisted. Perhaps they try every single number combination they can think of. Sort of like, 'You, take the 9567s, and you, take the 9568s' etc. A friend once said that they put the telemarketer on handsfree and walked away, so at some point the TM will realise that there's no one there, and be like, oh, um, sorry, and hang up. It made me laugh.
Anyway, one of them rang me up yesterday, trying to sell god knows what. Viagra for babies or houseplants or something. And they ask me whether I am the owner of the house. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but they always ask it. I guess if I am the owner of the house I can give them permission to bulldoze the wall of my bedroom and replace it with a pile of horse poo mixed with newspaper. Well, yeah. I've had enough of these people, so when they ask whether I am the owner, I pinch my nose to make my voice high and nasal, and say, 'No, I am the owner's fourteen year old crackhead ho-bag. Do you want a good spanking? I'm also really good with anal. I can take a twelve inch up the arse without lubricant. Hey - are you still there? Hello?'
Something tells me he may not call again. I hope he does. I mean, I've got lots more to say.
Just a quick whine about telemarketers. I don't know how exactly they get my number, as it's unlisted. Perhaps they try every single number combination they can think of. Sort of like, 'You, take the 9567s, and you, take the 9568s' etc. A friend once said that they put the telemarketer on handsfree and walked away, so at some point the TM will realise that there's no one there, and be like, oh, um, sorry, and hang up. It made me laugh.
Anyway, one of them rang me up yesterday, trying to sell god knows what. Viagra for babies or houseplants or something. And they ask me whether I am the owner of the house. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but they always ask it. I guess if I am the owner of the house I can give them permission to bulldoze the wall of my bedroom and replace it with a pile of horse poo mixed with newspaper. Well, yeah. I've had enough of these people, so when they ask whether I am the owner, I pinch my nose to make my voice high and nasal, and say, 'No, I am the owner's fourteen year old crackhead ho-bag. Do you want a good spanking? I'm also really good with anal. I can take a twelve inch up the arse without lubricant. Hey - are you still there? Hello?'
Something tells me he may not call again. I hope he does. I mean, I've got lots more to say.