Waiting for Security
Im vulnerable again that fucking blows. at least she knows the truth. Im glad she told me what she feels and that this fling is only because the guy reminds her so much of me. It felt good that she told me she loved me and that she could only see herself with one person (me). I cant be a hipocrite if hes there to care about the pain shes going through its only normal to care back. RIGHT??? At least I think so. Everything I was ever taught, with her has a loophole like it all makes sense though a little part of me thinks its not alright. one thing is for sure is that this could be my last chance to let her know and time is wearing thinner. Thinking of broken promises. Thinking of what if. if she decides to go to college anywhere else but california we wont be together, and thats the truth. though in my heart I beleive itll be hard, when we're together its like the world doesnt stand a chance and we can take on anything. but when we're apart its like that all disappears, I beleive its my fault though, because if I wasnt with her 24/7 she wouldnt feel the need to be with anybody of the opposite sex, as I think she does now. You know time apart wouldnt hurt as much if it meant just that, but with her "time apart" means meeting different people. Is that really what it means? Am I the one who's incorrect? Im not afraid to lose everything for this gal, but is she? how hard is it, really, to let go of something you just found in comparison to something you've always had? Which is easier to let go, your past and future or your present? Mex, she said she wouldnt go, I believed, she went, As long as shes happy RIGHT? In the end thats all it comes down to HER BEING HAPPY, thats all I want... -joone-