We Meet Again
And so, I am again saying how I miss this journal and I really regret not keeping up with it, now the past 2+ years of my life. These past 3 years have been possibly some of the most important years of my life. I really believe that. A LOT has changed.... god I really wish I kept up with it all. Memories is all you have now a days, a lot of things I had and are now gone from my life, only exists in these memories. I don't want to forget a thing. Though honesty, some of it would be good for me to forget because they are sad memories. I love the happy memories, but in the end it's still sad because I don't have that anymore. And by that I mean, those people who are in those memories. And that's truly heartbreaking.
This journal has always come up on my mind now and again. And tonight. I think I'll finally start it up again. I don't know why tonight NOW after everything... well, maybe that is why. Because so much has happened and I regret not "recording" it if you will, in this journal.
I don't really even know how to start. I feel as though I'm taking to a person I haven't seen in a long time, and I must fill you in on what's happened in my life, lol. Maybe I'll just start off with what I did today, like I always did. And maybe just leave it at that. For now...
Well, today I woke up after having a hard, tough sleep again. HAd to take some sleep aids to stop my mind just for a second so it would allow me to fall asleep. Woke up, the sun was out. I always look out my window at the beautiful sun when I wake up. My bed is right against the window. I really didn't wanna get out of bed - I had to be at work at Subway for 11. I didn't have any motivation to go. It's not even bad at all working there. I just had no motivation to do anything, I just wanted to lie there, lie there in my dreams and not be in my depressed self. BUT I can't skip work, and hey it IS better than staying home and doing absolutely nothing, sulking in a broken heart.
So finally got up, after a few of those "Just 2 more minutes to rest my eyes" lol. Got dressed, did my hair, makeup. Left to work. Today it was just me and Fadi, Neal was off to a Wedding or something. And then Wael usually comes in at 3:30 when I leave, but he came shortly after me, so I was surprised. I just called him AGAIN before I left for work and he texted me saying "I'm fucking at work cut the fucking shit" out of nowhere. I called him for a straight hour last night and he ignored me. He's so awful to me. Ugh.
This journal has always come up on my mind now and again. And tonight. I think I'll finally start it up again. I don't know why tonight NOW after everything... well, maybe that is why. Because so much has happened and I regret not "recording" it if you will, in this journal.
I don't really even know how to start. I feel as though I'm taking to a person I haven't seen in a long time, and I must fill you in on what's happened in my life, lol. Maybe I'll just start off with what I did today, like I always did. And maybe just leave it at that. For now...
Well, today I woke up after having a hard, tough sleep again. HAd to take some sleep aids to stop my mind just for a second so it would allow me to fall asleep. Woke up, the sun was out. I always look out my window at the beautiful sun when I wake up. My bed is right against the window. I really didn't wanna get out of bed - I had to be at work at Subway for 11. I didn't have any motivation to go. It's not even bad at all working there. I just had no motivation to do anything, I just wanted to lie there, lie there in my dreams and not be in my depressed self. BUT I can't skip work, and hey it IS better than staying home and doing absolutely nothing, sulking in a broken heart.
So finally got up, after a few of those "Just 2 more minutes to rest my eyes" lol. Got dressed, did my hair, makeup. Left to work. Today it was just me and Fadi, Neal was off to a Wedding or something. And then Wael usually comes in at 3:30 when I leave, but he came shortly after me, so I was surprised. I just called him AGAIN before I left for work and he texted me saying "I'm fucking at work cut the fucking shit" out of nowhere. I called him for a straight hour last night and he ignored me. He's so awful to me. Ugh.