There's a Chicken Wing Where?
Title: There’s a chicken wing where?
Author: Jooles34
Sin: Sloth
Characters Ianto
Word count: 1325
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Torchwood does not belong to me
Summery: Ianto feels unappreciated.
Ianto woke slowly. Something didn’t feel right. The bed underneath him was hard. Not, just hard, it was solid. He clearly wasn’t in his bed or Jack’s. He started looking around him, disorientated and still groggy with sleep. He was in one of the cells. Why was he in a cell? Why had he been sleeping in the vaults?
Then it started coming back to him. He had started work as normal on Tuesday morning, then their network had been attacked. While the others had gone home he and Tosh had worked through the night to fix the systems and restore all their information.
On Wednesday morning after they had been up for more than 24 hours, Jack had sent them both home. Two hours later Ianto received a call telling him to come back to the Hub as something had bitten Gwen and they needed information from the archives on how to treat her. Information that only he could find. Apparently.
So after just one hour of sleep he was back in the Hub. After he had found the information they needed (it took him two minutes, a monkey could have found it with his impeccable filing system) they demanded coffee, so he made them coffee. He then figured that as he was awake, and he was here so he may as well stay and get a day’s work done. All being well and good the rift would stay quiet after this morning’s little adventure and they could all go home at a reasonable time.
But of course that didn’t happen did it? Oh, no. That big purple thing with the name that even Jack couldn’t get his tongue around had appeared in Splott and scared the locals. It was peaceful enough and just wanted some dinner and to go home, but had inadvertently destroyed a Happy Shopper and upset a few people so there was retconning to be done, cover stories to be written, police to smooth over and reports to write.
Later that evening Ianto had suddenly remembered that he hadn’t fed Janet so he had wandered down to the cells to do just that. He had been awake now for about 40 hours with just one hour of sleep, so he had felt justified in having a little sit down in the cell next to Janet’s. And that was were he was now.
He looked at his phone. 6.10 Thursday morning. Time to get back to it he supposed. Ianto wandered, still groggy, down to the showers. He should have felt clean and refreshed by the end of the quick, cool shower he took, but he didn’t. He felt clean and still tired. He sighed and changed into one of the spare suits he kept in his locker and made his way up to the Hub. The others would be arriving soon.
Entering the main Hub Ianto stopped dead. He was surrounded by carnage. There were pizza boxes strewn everywhere. Not just pizza either; what was that? Potato wedges? Coleslaw? Every available surface was cluttered with empty boxes, coffee mugs, take out coffee cups, soda cans, beer bottles. Oh dear god there was a half eaten chicken wing stuck to Owen’s chair.
He walked briskly to his computer terminal and tapped some keys, getting into the log to see when the others had left. Only three hours after he had gone to feed Janet. How had four people made this much mess in three hours? How was that possible?
He’d had enough.
Ianto marched into Jack’s office and banged on the hatch to his boss’s quarters with his foot.
“Jack, we need to talk.”
By the time Jack emerged, tucking in his shirt, Ianto was sat in the chair opposite Jack’s desk with everything he needed.
He explained the situation and outlined his demands. He put forward a reasoned and thought-out argument to support them.
Jack refused.
Ianto had anticipated this and putting his carefully constructed argument to one side, made his threat instead.
Jack capitulated immediately.
Soon afterwards Ianto was lying on the battered sofa, his MP3 player in his ears, his eyes closed. The proximity alarms cut through the music and he opened his eyes to see Gwen and Tosh walk in together. They looked at him lying on the sofa in confusion. He smiled and gave them a little finger wave before closing his eyes again.
A short while later the alarm went off again. Once more Ianto opened his eyes and watched Owen walk through. Owen gave him a scornful look.
“What are you doing? Why can’t I smell coffee? I can always smell coffee when I come in.”
Jack walked out of his office and addressed the team.
“We need to talk.”
Ianto closed his eyes again and surreptitiously paused the music. He wanted to hear this.
“Ianto feels that…”
Ianto coughed discreetly, but continued to tap his foot along to non-existent music.
Jack took a deep breath and started again.
“Ianto feels, and I agree, that we have been taking him for granted and not appreciating what he does around here. And so he is now on strike until we tidy this place up and have learnt to look after ourselves.”
“Strike?” asked Gwen. “What kind of strike?”
“Until he is satisfied that we appreciate what he does, barring an end of the world scenario, Ianto will not be making any coffee, ordering any food, getting anything from the archives, doing any filing, any tidying, or anything else.”
Ianto didn’t need to have his eyes open to know the look the Captain was giving him now and he bit his lip to hide his smirk.
“He can’t do that. It’s his job to do those things.” said Owen
Jack cleared his throat. “As Ianto pointed out, his job description - which I still don’t remember writing or signing - says that he is an archivist and assistant, but does not say anything about being a general dog’s body.”
“Are you going to let him get away with this?” Owen asked.
“Did you not hear the bit about Ianto doing nothing until he’s happy?” giggled Tosh.
Ianto beamed to himself, turned his music back on and settled in for a lazy day.
******
Ianto had been lying on the sofa for hours now. He had finished a book that he had started years ago and never been able to get through and he was frankly starting to get bored. He was considering breaking his own strike and heading down to the archives for something to do when Gwen came over to him.
“I’m heading out to get some coffee. Do you want one?” she asked.
He smiled up at her. “Yes please Gwen that would be lovely. I’ll have my usual.”
Gwen gave him warm smile and turned away. She stopped, turned back.
“Sorry Ianto, remind me again. What is your usual?”
Ianto told her with a sigh. She had just proved his point. He couldn’t give in now. Nope. He was here on the sofa to stay. He turned his music back on.
********
Ianto was woken by a kick to his thigh and Jack’s voice.
“Oi, sloth, wake up.”
Ianto blinked up at him.
“Everyone’s gone for the day. What do you think? Does it meet with your approval?”
Ianto stood and stretched, looking around the Hub. All the rubbish was thrown away, there were no unwashed mugs or plates anywhere. The work surfaces were clutter free and if he wasn’t mistaken he could actually smell furniture polish in the air.
He gave it two days.
“Yes Jack, I approve.”
Jack folded his arms across his chest.
“Does that mean the strike is over?”
“Yes Jack, the strike is over.”
Jack reached out a hand and looped his fingers through the front of Ianto’s belt.
“Good, because I have something that needs urgent attention.”
Ianto laughed and allowed himself to be dragged towards Jack’s office.